


The Kurt Project

by Cleverboots (Amberlovesocean)



Category: Glee
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-01
Updated: 2015-07-31
Packaged: 2018-04-12 08:42:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 50,312
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4472765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Amberlovesocean/pseuds/Cleverboots
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Blaine  and the Warblers have set up a hotline loosely based on The Trevor Project to help confused and depressed gay, lesbian, bi and trans kids in Lima and Westerville. One night before the hotline is fully operational, Blaine is alone in the building - no supporting therapists, counsellors, or other professionals to help and he hasn't had his peer counselling training yet.</p><p>Blaine answers the phone to find a distraught boy on the other end, and all the boy wants is a pair of warm socks before he jumps into the icy white water flowing under the bridge to end his life.</p><p>*NOTE: Just so you know, there are no character deaths in this story. I only write happy endings for our boys!!</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

It had seemed like a good idea at the time. But as his brother, Cooper, always said, “No good deed goes unpunished”. Blaine used to laugh at that, thinking Coop had it all wrong, but he was rethinking that as he drove way past the speed limit to get to the bridge in time. He'd only been north of Lima to the little town of Ottawa once, so he put the Old Mill Stream Scenic Byway bridge into his GPS and took off, speeding the twenty minutes it took to get down the highway to Ottawa. The wind was freezing and gusting pretty hard tonight, blowing the snow all over the road in this freak spring blizzard.

Nearing the bridge, he could hear the water churning by. It was spring runoff and while the river was calm most times of the year, a glance out over the river by his headlights showed swirling white water that had chunks of ice floating in it. He shuddered just thinking about it. 

 

<><><><><><><><><><><>

 

It had all started a month ago when he and several of his friends were kicking around the idea of what to put on their college applications next year, and Jeff suggested they do some volunteer work. All agreed and after some suggestions Nick had mentioned something he'd read about: The Trevor Project. It was an organization that helped troubled Lesbian, Gay, Bi, and Transgender kids when life overwhelmed them. Everyone in the Warblers, along with a lot of the other boys at Dalton, jumped on the chance to set up their own small help center.

Blaine had been on the steering committee and did some planning and organizing, arranging for a small office, the telephone system to handle the calls, and getting some professional counselors to do the training classes. These were real lives they were dealing with and teenagers were not equipped to handle it on their own. 

The teen volunteers would each work with a professional person, but the Warblers thought that the initial peer counseling might be valuable in getting trust started, if the caller just needed a friendly non-judgmental ear to listen. More urgent cases would be forwarded to the therapists or counselors. 

The kids had set up the desks and brought in the boxes of supplies that evening and Blaine was helping a volunteer from the telephone company to get the phones set up so the peer counselors could forward the urgent calls to the right desk. Everything looked ready for the next day's start. Trent and Wes had been out stapling flyers all over town, at the high schools, the community college, the shopping malls. Blaine was supposed to meet them for dinner in an hour.

Everyone had gone home, tired after the busy day of moving and organizing, and Blaine was just putting on his coat to lock up and go home when a phone at one of the desks rang. He thought that was kind of random – they weren't open yet, but maybe it was the telephone guy checking on the lines one last time.

“Warbler Volunteer Helpline, this is Blaine, how can I help you?” he said in his most professional voice.

“Ah..is this the suicide line?” a soft voice said.

Blaine felt his skin crawl with nerves. He was alone, no therapists to hand the call off to, hell~ they hadn't even opened yet and he hadn't had the peer training yet.

“Well, yes...but we aren't operational until tomorrow. Can I take a message?” Blaine asked.

There was a snide, nasty laugh on the other end of the phone. “Wouldn't you know it? Here I finally decide there might be some reason not to be standing on this bridge in the freezing sleet looking down at the Ottawa - and I get put on _fucking_ hold until _fucking_ tomorrow. How is that for irony?”

“Oh, no...I wouldn't put you on hold! No, I'm here for you. Right here. Tell me what's wrong, what can I do?” Blaine said.

“Really? I'll give you three guesses why I'm standing here calling a gay helpline about to take a bath in the freezing river. Wow, how did you get this job, anyway?”

“I...ah...volunteered?” Blaine said, not having a clue what else to say. He was trying to dial Wes or Nick or anybody, but it was hard to dial when he was trying not to send this poor guy over the edge with his incompetence.

“Oh. Let me guess. You needed something to put on your precious college application and you're no good at pounding nails to build houses?” the voice said, dripping with angry sarcasm.

“Tell me where you are, I can send someone to come get you, and I'll stay on the line with you so you won't be alone,” Blaine said in what he hoped was a helpful and pleasant voice.

“No.”

“No to telling me or no to me staying on the line with you?”

“No to you'd 'be with me'. You won't be with me, you're in some snug office twenty minutes south of here and I'm standing on a patch of slippery ice in the sleet. In the freezing fucking wind in the fucking dark. So, no, you won't be waiting “with” me, will you?” he said.

“I may not be physically with you, but I can still talk to you, offer you comfort maybe?” Blaine pleaded. “How about you stay on the phone and I can send someone to meet you.” Blaine thought if he could just get the guy to calm down he might be able to get some help to him. If he would tell him where he was, anyway.”

“Unless you have some gas for my Navigator, that won't be possible. I ran out a ways back and I've been walking in my Doc Martins for a while. My feet are so fucking cold. Hey, maybe you could bring me a pair of wool socks so I could warm my feet before I take the ol' plunge,” the boy laughed that nasty laugh, but instead of cold sarcasm it was beginning to sound sad and desperate.

“Maybe I can get someone on the phone for you? Do you have somebody I can call?” Blaine was grasping at straws, praying he could think of something to keep this kid on the phone long enough to contact somebody in authority.

“Nope. If I had someone, why would I be standing here shivering? Damn, it is fucking cold here. This damn cashmere doesn't really hold the heat like wool.”

“Want to tell me why you're feeling so bad? I can listen, I do care,” Blaine said.

“Yeah, right. How can you care when you don't even know me? Oh, I know – you don't want it to look bad on the application that your pet volunteer project ended in a casualty on your first day on the job, eh? Sorry, I'm not buying the whole 'I care' bullshit. If my so-called friends don't care, why should a perfect stranger?”

“But I do. I'm not just doing this for my application to college. I want to help,” Blaine said, suddenly defensive.

“Oh, so I am right about the college ap. Well, nice to know I've helped someone out,” he said and the sarcasm was back. “You know, maybe I'll take you up on your offer to talk to somebody. You are obviously no help, so I'll let you go home to watch Dancing With The Stars or something and you put my call over to someone with more experience. Okay?”

“I can do that. I wish I could have helped you..ah...”

“Kurt.”

“Kurt. Okay, hold just a second and I'll patch this call over to the 911 operator. Is that what you want?” he asked.

“Yeah. Maybe. Go ahead, but – Blaine?- will you come back after you call them and say goodbye to me?” Kurt asked in a very soft voice.

“Of course I will. I will stay on the line with you until they get there.” Blaine said in his most reassuring voice. “Just stay on the line, I'll be right back.”

Blaine breathed a sigh of relief. He would call the 911 operator and then go back and tell Kurt they would come. Oh, he hadn't gotten the address where Kurt was. He clicked the phone back to that line.

But it was dead. He had hung up on the desperate kid, just when Blaine though he might be helping. Blaine thought he would just look at the caller ID and call him right back. But the lines had more work to be done in the morning and the caller ID wasn't hooked up. There was no way to see Kurt's number. Maybe he would call back? Maybe, but Blaine just had the sinking feeling he wouldn't. To have the suicide help line hang up on you was probably the straw that broke the camel's back. And Blaine was responsible. He had to fix this.

What could he do? Call the police? If he had no idea the last name of the kid, or even if Kurt was his real name, or where he was, or what exactly his situation was...he basically had no clue what to do. There had been several logical, rational things for him to do, but Blaine was so upset at possibly causing more hopelessness for Kurt – hanging up on a suicidal person, he wasn't thinking clearly. Which might explain how he left his cell phone on the desk and ran out to his car, getting in and taking off to find a needle in a haystack in the freezing sleet on a cold Ohio night in March.

Sitting in the car, Blaine began to think about what he actually knew about Kurt. Lucky for him, he had a good memory and had been co-captain of the Dalton Debating Team for two years. He was used to thinking on his feet and analyzing facts on the fly. Kurt said he was on a bridge, and it was slick. That let out a covered bridge. He said it was twenty minutes north -Ottawa was the town then. Oh, and he said he was driving a Navigator, well, you didn't see those every day. The only bridge he knew in Ottawa over a deep part of the river was the one on Old Mill Stream Scenic Byway. Okay, he would go there and start looking.

 


	2. Chapter 2

The wind was absolutely fierce and the roads were slick as Blaine kept his foot pressed a little too firmly on the accelerator. He had to slow down on the icy patches, but his GPS was giving him directions, so he didn't have to slow down to find each corner. The directions ran out on the Scenic Byway and the wind whipping the water over the frozen road was making it tough to drive at all. He had gone quite some ways and turned around to check the other way when he saw it...a black Navigator pulled to the side of the road. He parked behind it, cringing in the icy wind as he made his way over to the car. It was unlocked.

Blaine opened the door, climbing in to get out of the wind. He looked around. It was clean but had a lot of things in it. He picked up a gym bag that said 'McKinley High Cheerios' on the side and opened it. There was a math book with some papers folded neatly and placed between the pages. 'Kurt Hummel' was written on the top of a returned test, along with an 'A' in red marker. On the bottom of the page, near a wrinkle and a rip was written 'Fucking Faggot' in blue highlighter. Oh, now it was becoming a bit more clear. In the bag he also found a white silk shirt with a red stain on it. Blood? No, it would have turned brown. He smelled it, and it smelled sweet and a bit like that fake strawberry flavoring. Unfortunately, Blaine recognized what this was: slushie. He'd been slushied at a show choir competition last year. 

Well, that's really all Blaine needed to know. He turned to pull his coat closer and retie his warm scarf and saw a picture wedged above the visor in the driver's seat. He reached up and took the picture down. It was of a man dressed in a green plaid flannel shirt and an old baseball hat. His name tag said: BURT and under that: Hummel Tire and Lube. The man had weathered skin and laugh wrinkles, obviously made by the huge grin he had on his face as he looked at a boy standing next to him. He had an arm thrown around the boy's shoulder in an easy grace born of long habit.

This boy was about sixteen and dressed in cream colored skinny jeans and a purple button-down shirt. There was a black and white pin-striped vest and matching bow tie with a bird brooch pinned to the vest. The boy had rich chestnut hair, obviously combed and styled to perfection, pink pouting lips, rosy cheeks, and blue-green eyes with long eyelashes. His look of pure love as he gazed at the man was obvious -as was the man's reflected love.

Blaine was already pretty sure, but turned the picture over and saw on the back in neat handwriting: “Dad and Me 2010”. Blaine looked again at the boy in the picture. Kurt. He hoped he was in time as he exited the SUV and got back in his car. He had the picture in his pocket, not sure why, but just in case.

A little ways down the road there was the turnoff to the bridge, but it was icy and Blaine wasn't sure of the guardrails. What had been sleet an hour ago was now turning into big flakes of snow, quickly covering the ice with a layer of thick snow. He slowed his car down, looking as well as he could through the dark into the swirling snow. His eyes were tired after watching the road for so long in his tense state, so he stopped the car, parked it beside the road and got out to look across the bridge. He thought he saw something move a the center girder, but he couldn't be sure. Shouting would probably do no good as his voice was unlikely to carry in this wind.

Nothing left to do but just walk there and see if it was Kurt. He had on a very heavy coat with gloves and heavy boots. He wrapped his scarf tighter around his neck and adjusted his hat. He slid his thermos of hot coffee in his deep side pocket. Out of the trunk, he gathered the emergency pack his brother always kept there - a space blanket, food, extra gloves and dry socks. Cooper was always prepared in an Ohio winter.

Blaine began the slow way across the bridge. As he slid and tried to make his way as quickly as possibly down the bridge, he thought that if Kurt wasn't here, he had no idea where to look next. But he had an undeniable feeling Kurt was here, and that he was watching Blaine's progress. Blaine had no idea what he was going to say to this boy – that he could go home and everything would be all better? Blaine couldn't guarantee that, he had no idea what Kurt's home life was. It looked like his father loved him, but that was not a guarantee that life would be good. Before he realized it, he was nearing the center supporting post.

“Did you bring me warm socks?” a voice called from the shadow of the bridgeworks.

“Yeah, I did. Here...” Blaine said, searching in the bag for the long double layer wool socks Cooper had left in there. Kurt's hand came out of the shadow, and the trembling hand made Blaine's stomach curl at the thought of how long the boy had been here in the freezing weather to make it turn so blue. It was terribly cold in his snow gear, but this boy had on a light jacket and thin boots, a pair of trousers that looked as though they were made of sheer linen or cotton, and no scarf, hat, or gloves. 

“I have more gear, here, come over here and we can get you some warmer things to put on for the walk back to the car,” Blaine said, trying not to let the cold turn into shivering in his own body.

“No. It won't matter in a few minutes anyway, I just wanted my feet to be warm for a minute. I hate it when my feet are cold,” Kurt said, sitting in the accumulating snow to pull off his soaking wet boots – he wasn't wearing socks - and pull on the thick, warm socks that Blaine had handed him.

“It will matter, Kurt.” Blaine said.

Kurt jerked his head up, surprised at the boy calling him by name. Oh, yeah, he had told him his first name. Oh, well, it didn't matter. It wasn't as if there was anyone to care anyway.

“Kurt?” Blaine tried, thinking of what to say.

“What? Do you want to do your good deed for your college application now? Well, you did it. My feet are warmer now, so you can go back to your little cubicle and save someone else's life. Okay?” Kurt's tone was back to sarcastic and Blaine began to wonder if he had waited to give him the socks maybe he could have lured him off the bridge. Unlikely, he thought.

“Won't someone miss you in their life, Kurt? Who are you leaving behind to live with the pain of losing you?” Blaine took a stab in the dark. Hadn't he seen this in a movie?

Kurt glared at him. “Nobody. Nobody cares.”

Blaine was cold, he was damn near freezing, and he wanted to get back in his warm car and go home. Preferably with Kurt in tow.

“What about your dad?” he asked, mentally seeing the photograph of Kurt and his dad.

“How would you know anything about my dad......Blaine, is it?” Kurt asked, a little shaken. If this kid was just guessing, he would have said 'your parents', not just 'your dad'.

Blaine moved closer to Kurt, but the boy jumped back. Blaine moved closer, but he was getting too close to the edge of the bridge and he could see the wild water below them and he didn't want to crowd Kurt or fall himself. He wanted to help Kurt, but he didn't want to loose his life in the process. He locked his eyes on Kurt's and held up a hand, showing he had nothing to hurt him with or capture him -or whatever fantasy Kurt's mind was thinking up. He slowly opened the top button of his coat and reached in to the inside pocket and produced the photograph he had taken from Kurt's SUV. He held it out to Kurt, who took it with a trembling hand.

“Where the hell did you get this?” he snarled, but Blaine could see the tears Kurt was trying to hold in check and the swipe of the back of his hand across his eyes when he thought Blaine wasn't looking.

“Out of your Navigator. You told me it was out of gas, so when I got near here, I looked for it so I could find you.”

“Oh. Seems like a lot of trouble just to bring me warm socks. Thank you, by the way. Well, my feet thank you,” Kurt said, but Blaine wasn't letting go of the idea of Kurt's dad missing him.

Kurt took the photograph and placed it very gently in his pocket. “And thanks for this. You can go now.”

“No. I want you to come with me,” Blaine said. He had no tricks or guarantees to give Kurt, just the truth. He wanted the boy to go with him. Kurt said nothing. So Blaine unzipped the bag again. He produced the rabbit-fur lined gloves and walked over to Kurt. The boy's hands were so cold and numb that he really couldn't put up much of a fight as Blaine removed his own rabbit-fur gloves (the matching pairs had been a gift to Blaine and Cooper a few Christmas's ago from their grandmother). He put the ones warmed by his body on Kurt's hands and then slipped Cooper's on his own hands. Kurt didn't say anything, but Blaine could see the thanks in his eyes as the warmth seeped into his frozen fingers.

Next, he took out the blanket and wrapped it around Kurt's shivering shoulders, then looked to see what was in the bag in terms of food. He found some chocolate bars and some granola bars, handing them to Kurt. Then he took his coffee thermos out of his deep side pocket and poured a steaming cup and gave that to Kurt, turning as though it didn't matter to him if Kurt drank it or not. He could hear Kurt gasp as the hot liquid hit his lips, but drank anyway. Blaine took the shooter of whisky out of the bag. Cooper was prepared for anything, apparently. He poured a dollop in the cup, filled it with coffee and handed it to Kurt, who downed it in a few gulps. Blaine hoped it might make him a bit warmer. 

He went to the railing then and looked over the edge of the bridge. It was a long way down and looked cold as fuck. He shivered, but it was in fear of what Kurt had been contemplating rather than the cold. Kurt was rewrapping himself in the blanket when his eyes met Blaine's. 

“I meant it when I said I have no one,” he almost whispered.

“What about your dad?” Blaine asked, hoping this question was now allowed.

“He had a heart attack. He's in the hospital, in a coma.”

“Oh.” Blaine didn't know how to reply to that. “What do the doctors think?”

“They don't know. If he dies, well....I don't know what would happen to me. And I want to do this while I have the strength to make myself do it. You understand?”

“No, Kurt. I'm sorry, but I don't. I guess I'm not supposed to say that to you, but I don't see this as a hopeless situation,” Blaine told him.

“No, of course you don't. You don't know what I'm up against. You're just volunteering for this help line to get a better chance to get into some Ivy League college. What? Did you pick helping the gays win some sort of Civil Rights just because “Gay” is the flavor of the week now? Hey, if this was 40 years ago, you'd be helping some random black kid, right? Do you even know a gay kid in your ivory tower of a private academy? Shit, Blaine, you did your good deed of the week for the local token faggot. Now go home and bask in your glory, okay? Leave me alone,” Kurt shouted.

Blaine flinched at Kurt's use of the word 'faggot'. How did Kurt know he went to a private school?

“I saw how much your dad loves you – in the picture? You can't mistake the way his eyes shine with pride and love for you, Kurt. What if he does make it? What if he lives, will you make him do that without you?”

“What the fuck? Are you Marley's ghost, showing me Christmas future? Or maybe Clarence the Angel from 'It's a Wonderful Life'? That shit isn't real, Blaine.”

“I'm not trying to reenact a movie here, Kurt, just trying to talk to you.”

“Oh, for pity's sake, Blaine. Will you stop nattering on and on about things you know nothing about. Let me lay it on the line for you since you think you have some right to know. He doesn't know I'm gay. If he dies, I'm alone. If he lives, I'll have to tell him. And the shock and disgust of that will probably do his heart in for good. So you see, I'm fucked either way,” Kurt finished in a quiet voice, almost devoid of emotion. Frankly, it scared Blaine more than the shouting.

“Than don't tell him,” Blaine said.

“He'll find out. The principal has to tell him because a guy at my school has been bullying me about being a fag and I got in a fight. The only reason Dad doesn't know about it is he had a heart attack last week. It's like a time bomb ready to go off. But what the fuck do you know about it? I bet you have your own problems...like whether to drive the Mercedes or the BMW on Monday. Really tough things like that.” Kurt crossed his hands over his chest in defense, but he wasn't sure of what. Blaine cringed a little, he was driving Cooper's old BMW.

“Maybe...”

“No. I can't talk Mr Figgins out of talking to Dad. It's in the hands of the school board because Coach Sylvester expelled the other kid. There has to be a hearing,” Kurt said.

“Kurt? It isn't true that I don't care, and it isn't true that I don't understand,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt's beautiful blue eyes, so full of pain.

“What? Did you take a class in gay sensitivity or something?” he snarked.

“You might say so....” and Blaine stepped close to Kurt and opened his coat. He pulled the heavy wool sweater out of his waistband and then pulled up his undershirt. There across his belly were scars...thick, twisted, ugly scars spelling out a word: FAGGOT. 

 

Kurt gasped and just stared at Blaine. “Oh, my stars....” he mumbled. “Oh, Blaine, I'm sorry. So sorry,” and his knees hit the ice-covered cement and made a sick cracking sound. Blaine was there in a second, his arms around Kurt, trying to lift him to his feet.

“It's okay. It's okay. Just...come with me, Kurt. Come sit in my car and we can talk about this. I won't make you do anything you don't want to do, just come with me.”

Kurt was so broken he lost the will to do anything, so he just obeyed the instructions and walked with Blaine back over the bridge. As they got closer, Blaine shied away for a moment, and Kurt looked at him. “What?” he asked. Blaine just nodded at the car. Kurt got a small smile on his face, “Oh...you do drive a Beemer.” and he gave a tiny giggle. Blaine blushed, but so did Kurt. 

“It is used, my brother gave it to me when he got a new car. It's not like....” Blaine had no idea what to say or why he felt some need to apologize to Kurt for the kind of car he drove, so just let the thought drop.

Blaine had to help Kurt into the car. He was so stiff from the cold, he couldn't bend his legs properly. Once inside, Blaine hurried over to his side and got in, starting the car and turning on the heater. They drove back to Lima in silence. 

  
“Where do you live, Kurt?” Blaine asked, and Kurt gave him an address. Blaine plugged it into his GPS and drove silently. He pulled up to the address, but there was no house. Blaine looked around and saw gates in the middle of the block, Kurt nodded his head toward them. Blaine drove forward a bit and Kurt got out before Blaine had even stopped. He took off through the gates and Blaine looked up to the sign: St Anne Episcopal Church Cemetery.

“Kurt!” Blaine shouted into the night, but the wind was still blowing the snow all around them. He began to run...following the path Kurt's boots had made in the freshly fallen snow. He didn't think the boy could get very far and he was right, he found Kurt on his knees beside a pathway. He must have been hurt because he sat very still, his head down. It wasn't until he got close that Blaine saw what Kurt was doing: talking to a grave.

He was crying, sobbing really, his head almost down in his lap and shaking with the sobbing. He'd left Blaine's blanket and gloves in his car, went tearing through a cemetery in the middle of a snowstorm in the middle of the night – to cry at a grave?

“Kurt, Kurt...come back to the car with me. I'll take you home, Kurt. What are you doing?” Blaine babbled until he saw the gravestone. The ground was covered with snow, just the top of a rosebush climbed over the grave. The wind blew all the snow from the surface of the gravestone so Blaine could clearly read what was etched on the stone: 

_Elizabeth Claire Hummel_

_Beloved wife and mother of Burt and Kurt_

 

Blaine stopped. He didn't want to interrupt what was obviously Kurt talking to his deceased mother, but it was freezing and Kurt was in no condition to be on his knees in the graveyard at night. He took off his own coat – he had a wool sweater on under it – and wrapped it around Kurt. 

“I'm sorry, Mom. I didn't know what to do....don't let them take Dad, he's all I have left. I'll be good...Mommy, please help me. Please.”

Blaine took Kurt's hands and raised him from the snow, but Kurt wouldn't stop crying and he wouldn't move his feet or acknowledge Blaine in any way. Finally, Blaine just scooped him up and walked back to the car, settling Kurt in the passenger seat and driving to his own house. His parents were gone on a business trip and although Cooper was usually home when they weren't, he was gone this night also.

 


	3. Chapter 3

Blaine took Kurt up to his room – he took his hand and pulled and Kurt followed him. Once there, Blaine took off all of Kurt's wet and freezing clothes and put him in a hot bath to thaw out. All this time, Kurt didn't say a word. He looked at Blaine from time to time, as though he were trying to figure out something, but he never smiled and he never spoke, just let Blaine do what he would to him. After the hot bath, Blaine got him some of Cooper's flannel pajamas and another pair of wool socks and tucked him into his own bed. Then he went down the hall to the linen cupboard and got the heating pad out. He plugged it in beside the bed, set it to the warmest temperature, and wrapped it around Kurt's feet.

Blaine went to the kitchen and found some leftover beef bourgougnon stew from last night and heated two bowls of it, added some French bread and a pot of tea and took it all upstairs on a tray. He sat it on a bedside table and put his dinner on the desk, then woke Kurt up.

“Hungry?” he asked and Kurt nodded. Blaine helped Kurt to sit up, propped by the pillows in the queen sized bed and set the bed tray over his knees. He put the silverware and bowl on the tray with the bread and a napkin. He poured the hot tea into a cup and raised an eyebrow as he held the sugar bowl, but Kurt shook his head. He placed the cup within reach on the bedside table and went to sit at the desk. They ate the rich stew in companionable silence, mopping the gravy up with chunks of French bread slathered with fresh butter and washed down with the tea. By the time they were done, Kurt had a small smile on his face.

“Thank you, Blaine,” he said.

“You're welcome,” Blaine said, gathering the dishes and returning them to the kitchen. He brought up two thin slices of apple pie and a little scoop of vanilla ice cream on each. He put one on the tray in front of Kurt, whose eyes lit up at the sight.

“Did your mom make the pie?” Kurt asked.

“No, the cook did. Mrs Baker is just what her name implies, a wonderful baker – and a gifted cook. I'll tell her you enjoyed her pie.” 

They finished in silence again. Kurt seemed very subdued, not upset or worried or anything – which in turn worried Blaine. He knew he should have taken him straight to the hospital to be put on some sort of suicide watch. But he knew how Kurt felt, Blaine had demons of his own, and he would have been right out there ready to jump off a bridge if his brother hadn't been a rock to steady him when all of that happened.

“Blaine, can I ask you something?” Kurt said in a small voice. 

“Of course,” Blaine answered.

“Did you mean what you said to me tonight?” Kurt asked.

“I don't know which thing you mean, but if I said it, I meant it,” Blaine answered. “Which thing?”

But Kurt didn't answer. He set the empty plate on the table and moved the tray off his lap. He took Blaine's plate out of his hand and did the same. Blaine just watched him. Kurt patted the bed next to him, unable to speak the words – but Blaine understood and crawled into the bed next to Kurt, who held back the covers to let Blaine under. Sitting in the warm bed, it felt like nothing could ever hurt him again, and Kurt was kind of entranced by that thought. He put his hand under the covers and found Blaine's hand. He raised his eyebrow in question, but Blaine didn't object, so Kurt snuggled down and stretched his legs out, bringing Blaine's hand so he had to lie down next to Kurt.

  
“I meant, did you tell the truth when you said you cared about me?” Kurt asked after turning out the light and leaving them in darkness, the cold wind howling outside. 

“Yes, Kurt, I did. I have been there. Maybe not the exact some circumstances, but I was alone in terms of being gay. I didn't know a soul – well, at least I didn't know a soul who was out, and I felt so alone. When you called, I just felt some sort of connection to you. I do care about you, Kurt. Even more since I have met you,” Blaine said, looking deep into Kurt's blue eyes.

“What happened to you, Blaine? If you want to tell me. You don't have to,” Kurt asked, glad the darkness masked his face.

Blaine sighed. He didn't like to talk about it. But maybe it would help Kurt. 

“ _I was fourteen. I had come out to my family and although my parents weren't too pleased, they didn't really disown me or anything. I think they just didn't understand it, didn't know what it meant to me. You know, they may have thought it was some sort of choice I made to rebel against them or something,” Blaine explained. Kurt held his hand a little tighter and put his other hand on Blaine's arm to show support._

“ _Cooper, my older brother, was always supportive, but I often wondered if he was just relieved he didn't have me for competition with the girls of Lima,” Blaine joked, but Kurt didn't really laugh. He could understand why Blaine was trying to joke and squeezed his hand._

“ _I went to Atlantic City with my folks that summer. It was a nice vacation, lots of sun and fun as they say. I spent a lot of time at the beach with people I met there. I thought one boy was very nice, and he seemed to like me. But I didn't understand. He liked me because I had money to spend. I bought all of them ice cream and candy and took them to the rides and everything. I didn't think about it at the time, but I always paid for everything we did. One night I was with them all and went to ride the ferris wheel. It was two to a seat and I had bought everyone tickets, but when it came to getting on, I had maneuvered myself to be standing next to the guy I had a crush on. We sat in the seat and when it got to the top, I was so excited that I leaned over and kissed him on the cheek. He didn't say anything, just gave me a funny look and I lost my nerve. We got off the ferris wheel and didn't say anything else that evening._

_The next night was my last night before we left for home and I went down to the beach in the evening. Somebody called my name and I turned and it was the kid. I smiled at him, thinking he was there to say something nice to me – but the other kids grabbed me and pulled me under the docks. They all held me down and the kid....took a knife and carved...”_ Blaine just couldn't finish his sentence, and his hand went to his belly where the scars spelled out the hated word. He though he had his emotions under control after all this time, almost three years, all the feelings of terror came flowing back to paralyze him. The tears started and he knew he had lost all control and didn't want Kurt to see him like this. 

He turned to pull his knees up to his chest, wrapping his arms around his legs to try and hold himself together. He lay there, trying to be perfectly still so he wouldn't start shaking, when a warm hand came over his waist, pulling him close. He closed his eyes and just let Kurt do it, not knowing whether to stop it or how he would if he wanted to. But it felt nice, the supportive feel of an arm embracing him, the warmth of someone caring. He wrapped his own arms around Kurt's, sinking down in the blankets and tried to stop crying.

“It's okay, Blaine. It wasn't your fault at all. I'm sorry that happened to you, and I'm sorry I was so mean to you earlier tonight when you were only trying to help me. I thought you were judging me because I am gay --but really, I was judging you because I had made assumptions about your orientation and social status...and well, everything. Please accept my apology, Blaine,” Kurt said.

Blaine turned in Kurt's arms to see his face. His eyes were as bright as ever and he was looking so seriously at Blaine.

“It's okay, Kurt. I forgive you. Let's not let that stand between us, okay? I am so tired, I just want to go to sleep. Are you okay with that? I can go to Cooper's room to sleep if you're uncomfortable with me being here. We may both pitch for the same team, but that doesn't mean we have to pretend to be okay with sleeping together if we're not.”

“I'm confused, “ Kurt said, “I thought it was okay that we were snuggling, but if it isn't – just say so.”

“Oh, I didn't mean that! Oh, we are a mess, aren't we? I am fine staying here if you feel comfortable. Your turn.”

“I am, too. Fine with staying together. Okay, come over here,” Kurt said in a soft voice and Blaine snuggled into his arms. 

After a few minutes, Blaine got courage to say, “Tell me, Kurt.” 

Kurt thought of pretending he didn't understand, but dismissed that. He did know what Blaine was asking him and after Blaine had told him his story, it was only fair to tell Blaine his.

“ _I was seven, and life was so good. I'd bake cookies with my mom, she would teach me to play the piano and we would sing together. But then she started sleeping. A lot. I was kind of sad about it, but at that age, what kid understands why adults do anything they do? And they never told me until the end. So, at eight, there I was, hand in hand with my Dad, watching them shovel dirt over my mom's casket. And life was never the same.”_

“ _I go to a public high school, not a some elite preppie haven. So, needless to say, I'm bullied every day. Some days are worse than others and I felt hopeless for a while, but I joined Glee Club and life was kind of okay. But with the way I dress, the way I sing...rumors are always out there that I'm gay and I don't dispute them. I mean, I am gay and I'm not going to deny who I am – I'm just not going to discuss it. There was this one jock that harassed me more than most, slamming me into lockers, tripping me, throwing slushies in my face. I got angry one day and followed him into the locker room to confront him._

“ _He kept at me until he shoved me and I didn't back down. I though he was going to hit me...but he kissed me instead. It was the most awful thing that I ever had done to me at school. He tasted like a spittoon smells, like most of the football team, he chewed Copenhagen snuff. It was so bad... But it got worse. He kept asking me every day if I told anyone. Like I would?? Really? Who would I tell? Anyway, he was so paranoid that he finally told me he'd kill me. And I believed him. So, last week I got in a fight with him. I had a baton from cheerleading, and when he came at me, I hit him with the baton. In the balls. And I got suspended, but he got expelled for threatening me.”_

“ _While I was getting the things out of my locker, two of my teachers came. I thought they were there to escort me off school property, but that wasn't it. They came to take me to the hospital. My dad had a heart attack and he's in a coma._

“That was when I made the decision...if he dies, I have nowhere to go. If he lives he'll find out what I've been hiding for years. I don't know what to do, Blaine. I don't want to die, but what else is there?” Kurt was crying now, but kind of silently, leaning his head into Blaine's shoulder and Blaine ran his fingers through Kurt's hair to comfort him.

“Kurt? You're not alone. I'm here. There is time to think about how to handle this, and I give you my promise right now that I will stand by you. If it would make it easier for you to tell your dad with me holding your hand, I'll be there. Any support I can give you, Kurt, I will be there. My solemn promise.” Tears were in Kurt's eyes by the time Blaine finished saying this. He wished with all of his heart that it might be this easy, that the feeling of a friend having his back was this strong and this good when he went to tell his dad. Before he gave it conscious thought, he had leaned forward and placed his lips on Blaine's in a passionate kiss that left nothing to the imagination about how much Blaine's promise had meant to him.

 


	4. Chapter 4

The morning dawned and Blaine woke up to find someone standing over him. He startled and quickly slid out from under Kurt's body, scooting over to the edge of the bed and getting up. He grabbed the arm of the man standing over him and led him out into the hallway, holding a finger to his lips to ask the man to be quiet.

He stood in the dark hall, his eyes bright as he tried to think of how to explain this situation to his brother, Cooper, who was tapping his toe impatiently, arms crossed across his chest, waiting for Blaine to speak.

“It isn't what you're thinking...” Blaine started, which drew an eye-roll and a sigh from his brother. “Shit, Cooper, let me explain before you start jumping to stupid conclusions, okay?”

“You know, Squirt, no matter what you say, I'm pretty sure you're not going to explain away my finding you playing octopus with a gorgeous boy in your bed, now are you? Let's go downstairs and get some coffee and you can entertain me with your attempts to make this look innocent,” Cooper said, turning to walk down the stairs.

Blaine went back in his bedroom and checked on Kurt – who was now wrapped around the pillow and breathing easy. He pulled the blankets up around Kurt's shoulders to keep him warm and before he turned to go, he placed a chaste kiss on his hair. The poor kid had been through so much last night, he deserved to sleep as much as possible. 

 

“Okay, Squirt, spill,” Cooper barked, impatient as always.

“Well, you know we were putting together a help line for the Warblers' community project, right?” Blaine started and Coop nodded. “I was just cleaning up when the phone rang. I was all alone, so I answered it. That kid, his name is Kurt, was on the line. He was getting ready to jump off a bridge.”

“In Lima? There isn't more than a trickle of water in any river here. I doubt he'd do more harm that get his feet wet.'

“No, he was on the Old Mill Stream bridge over the Ottawa River. In that storm last night.” Blaine explained.

“Oh..that's a different story. What did you say?”

“I...ah...didn't handle it well. I made him mad, then I hung up on him,” Blaine said.

“Wow, Squirt. That was bad..then what?”

“I had no way to call him back, the phone lines weren't finished and there was no caller ID or anything. So I drove up to Ottawa....to, ah...look for him,” Blaine stopped when Cooper smacked the back of his head.

“You drove MY Beemer to Ottawa in the worst spring blizzard in a decade? What was wrong with you? Why on earth didn't you call someone?” Cooper was very upset.

“I didn't think of it. All I could think of was going up there. I found his car by the side of the road, then I walked over the bridge and gave him your wool socks,” Blaine said in a small voice, realizing how lame it all sounded. “It made sense last night.”

“It did? I think you're crazy. So, continue.”

“He was angry and all I could think to do was talk him into coming home. I finally got him to agree, but then when I went to take him to his house, the address he gave me was a cemetery. That got all twisted...he wasn't there to die, just to talk to him mom. His dad is in a coma, he had a heart attack. It's really complicated, Cooper,” Blaine blurted out.

“I'd say it is. Well, how is his dad now?” Coop asked.

“I don't know. We need to call the hospital. But you can see I couldn't just take him home to a cold, empty house and leave him, don't you?”

“Yeah, Squirt, I do. Okay, we need to do some stuff this morning. It stopped snowing, but the roads are slick and snowy. I can drive the two of you out to get his car – I don't think he should drive home alone – and you follow me back here in case there's any trouble. We'll stop and fill the gas can first so you can get back to town. Mom and Dad aren't due home for two weeks, so if you think he needs to stay here, that is okay.

“But Blaine, I'm not sure about you actually sleeping with another guy. I mean...”

“Nothing happened. I kissed him, but it wasn't that kind of kiss, I was just - -I guess I was just reassuring him. He was at his wit's end, Cooper. He was thinking of killing himself. I didn't feel like starting a snog fest, you know? I just wanted him to know somebody cared. I wish I'd have had someone tell me that when I got...” Blaine didn't want to go on, Cooper wasn't there when he'd had to be hospitalized that summer in Atlantic City. He felt so alone, the painful cuts from that kid carving the dirty name on his belly.... but Cooper knew what he was talking about and drew him close, arms around him.

“I know, Blaine. I'm still so sorry I wasn't there for you. I came as soon as I could, but it would have been so much better if you had someone. I understand why you did such a foolish thing as going through a blizzard to be there for someone else, too. But it was foolish and I'm not happy about it.”

“I know...” Blaine said. “I had better go check on him. He was out there in just a light jacket and no socks...I know he got too chilled. I put your socks and gloves on him until we got home, but he was still awfully cold.”

“I'll make some eggs and stuff for breakfast and bring it up, okay, Squirt?” Cooper offered.

“Thanks, Coop. You're the best.”

~*~*~*~*~

Kurt woke up when the sun hit his face. It had stopped snowing sometime during the night, the wind had died down and so it sounded very quiet in comparison. He blinked, casting his mind back to last night, and the bad feelings came crashing down. He began to wonder how this curly-haired kid had talked him out of jumping. Well, he could always go back, the river wasn't going anywhere. 

“Kurt?” the kid said, walking back into the room. While Kurt was sort of angry his plans had been changed because of this kid, he was equally glad to see him again. In the night, when he was scared and lonely the kid...oh, yeah, his name was Blaine....Blaine had held him close and made him feel like somebody cared. It was a new feeling and Kurt found he liked it.

“Mornin',” Kurt said.

“How are you feeling this morning?” Blaine asked.

“I'm okay, it's kind of hot in here. My head hurts.”

Blaine walked over and felt his forehead. “You have a fever, probably from getting so cold yesterday. How about some coffee?”

“Oh, yes, please..” Kurt said, “I could use that.” Blaine handed him the cup he'd brought up. Kurt drank it quickly, looking gratefully at Blaine. He wanted to put up those walls, the ones that kept him safe, but he was having trouble with that. Blaine was really nice and only wanted to help -even if Kurt didn't want his help.

“Kurt? Would you want to call the hospital to check on your dad?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah, but I threw my cell phone in the river...when you hung up on me,” Kurt said, looking at Blaine with a very accusing stare.

“I'm sorry...they hadn't finished wiring the phone lines last night, I still don't know how your call came through. Somebody up there was looking out for you, I guess,” Blaine said.

“I don't believe in “somebody up there”. I haven't for a long time. It was just a fluke, I guess, Kurt told him.

“I'll go get my phone, you can use it to call.” Blaine wasn't sure how to talk to Kurt now. He really didn't believe in a Christian God per se, but had no intentions of getting in a discussion of religion with anyone. He took Kurt to the house phone in the hallway to use, he;d left his on the desk at the office.

“I'll go see what's keeping Cooper with breakfast while you call, okay?” Blaine asked and Kurt nodded. Blaine met Coop coming up the stairs with a tray packed with dishes and food. “He's calling the hospital. Hey, can I loan him some of your clothes to wear to get his car, his are still damp.”

“Well, you didn't have any trouble loaning him my favorite pajamas last night – or my wool socks and gloves. What's a few more garments among friends?” Cooper said with sarcasm on his tongue. Blaine had the grace to blush.

“Sorry, Coop. I didn't think you'd mind, given the circumstances...”

“I don't. I'm just pulling your chain, Squirt. No, it's fine, I'll get some warm stuff out for him to wear. But I wasn't kidding, I think he should stay here until his dad is better. I'd never sleep if I was thinking about him alone with all he has going on in his life. When we get back from Ottawa, go over to his house and get some stuff he'll need and bring him back here.”

The brothers walked into Blaine's room to find Kurt sitting on the side of the bed, his head in his hands.

“Kurt? Are you okay?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah. They think Dad is waking up, so they're giving him medication so he'll wake up slowly. They want me to let him rest for a few hours, then come to visit around noon. Can I get a ride?” he asked, looking at Blaine.

“Sure. This is my brother, Cooper. Coop, this is Kurt Hummel,” Blaine introduced. Cooper sat the heavy tray down on the bedside table and handed a plate of eggs, hash browns, buttered toast, and bacon to Kurt and one to Blaine before sitting down at the desk to eat his own. 

“Thank you,” Kurt said, picking up a fork to start eating. 

“Cooper has offered to drive us out to Ottawa to try and get your Navigator home. We can go as soon as you've finished eating, okay?” Blaine told Kurt, who nodded. They ate in relative silence, Cooper finishing first and going to get some things for Kurt to wear. He came back with jeans, a flannel shirt, a sweater, wool socks and a pair of old boots. 

“These ought to fit you, we might need to dig your SUV out of a snow bank considering how much snow fell, but we'll see what we can do for you,” Coop said, “I'll meet you downstairs in a few minutes.

Blaine looked over the clothes and realized there was no underwear. He went over to his drawer and got out a pair of clean boxer briefs and placed them on the top of the pile of clothes. “I hope those are okay, they're clean,” he blushed a little. “I can go if you want to change.”

“No, I'm fine. Can you, maybe, loan me a comb?” Kurt asked. Blaine went into the bathroom and took his time to allow Kurt to get dressed before he returned. Downstairs, Cooper tossed Kurt a down-filled duck hunting jacket, the gloves from last night, and a warm winter hat with ear flaps. Kurt put it all on, following the boys to the garage. He took one look at the SUV they were getting into and burst into laughter.

“What's so funny?” Blaine asked.

“Your brother drives a Mercedes.” Kurt said, laughing again. 

Then Blaine started laughing. Coop just looked at them like they were crazy. “Okay..I don't get the joke,” he told them.

“Yesterday when Kurt and I were arguing he said that the only problem I probably had was whether to drive the Mercedes or the Beemer,” Blaine explained. Cooper looked at Kurt but didn't laugh. 

“You two are loons,” he said.

“I guess you had to be there.” Blaine said and smiled at Kurt, who grinned back.

They drove up the highway and made the sharp turn onto the Old Mill Stream Scenic Byway ans saw at least four cars off the road on the way. The roads were still slick and dangerous and Cooper took the time to lecture his little brother about being cautious in driving home. They found Kurt's Lincoln and tipped the five gallons of gasoline into the tank. Blaine got it started and pulled out of the bushes where Kurt had parked it. Kurt didn't argue about Blaine driving – he was actually relieved since he didn't feel well with the fever and all.

Coop said he would follow them into town just in case, but Blaine had no trouble and got there in under forty-five minutes, very fast for the weather conditions. He honked twice as they pulled up to a stoplight and waved as he headed his Mercedes for home. Kurt and Blaine went to Kurt's house to get him some clothes for the week. Or so Blaine thought.

Once inside, Kurt hurried downstairs into his bedroom and began choosing a few outfits to bring with him. Blaine followed and sat on his bed.

“You know, Blaine, I can just stay here. I'm sorry I scared you last night, and I won't do it again. Why don't I just take you home and we're good. You don't have to hang around me just because you had to talk some sense into me.” Kurt said this very boldly, but at the same time, he wanted in the worst way to beg Blaine to stay with him, to talk to him, to go with him to see his father. He was tired of feeling all alone, hell, he was tired of BEING all alone. But he wasn't good at interacting with other people, and he hated to admit it, but Blaine intimidated him. 

Blaine was one of those guys who was easy to talk to, that had all kinds of people say hello to him just walking down the halls at school. Kurt had no proof of this, of course, but he felt it must be true. He had been worried about Blaine judging him – for his poor choices, for his small house and public school education. But as far as he could tell in less than a day, Blaine was only friendly and open and wanted to help. Kurt was afraid to trust him, but he thought he might one day.

“Kurt, I know you are fully capable of taking care of yourself, but honestly, I could never forgive myself if I just let you go on this sad path and didn't try to help. I was not just making idle promises last night when I told you I will stand by you. We don't know each other very well, but I'd like very much to have a chance at changing that. I don't know if it's possible, but I'd like to call you my friend. I think we have a lot in common and we could help each other with the tough times. Don't you want to have someone to call if you're feeling bad? I would. Okay, I'm talking too much. Just think about it, okay?” Blaine asked, afraid he had said too much. Kurt looked so fragile now, he was afraid he might break. 

Instead of just sitting there, he stood up and walked to Kurt, holding out his arms and waiting. Kurt looked scared, but stepped a little closer and found Blaine's arms around him, holding him in a tight hug and rubbing the back of his neck. He relaxed into the closeness, it was exactly what he needed right now. His dad was always hugging him, and he missed the human contact, the warmth of being so close to another person. He leaned a bit into Blaine's hug and sighed.

“I do want us to be friends, Blaine. Thank you.”

“That means you will stay with me for the next week, I don't want you to be alone now, you need me, I think. Okay?” Blaine asked.

Kurt was not sure what to say. He wanted to yell that Blaine had no idea what he needed, that he didn't know him. But the truth was: Blaine was right. He didn't want to be alone with his dad gone. The quiet in his house was killing him. He liked Blaine, he thought he did anyway. 

“Okay, Blaine. I'll accept your invitation. Thank you. Are you sure it's okay with your folks?”

“Cooper asked me to bring you home, he's fine with it, and he's in charge when my parents are gone.”

“How old is he? He looks like he's so much older...” Kurt commented.

“He's 14 years older than me. So, he still lives at home while he's in law school, but he takes care of me when our folks are out of town. If he says it's okay, my parents will be fine with it.” Blaine reassured Kurt.

Blaine moved back to sit on the bed and Kurt followed him. “I have to ask something else, but it's kind of awkward,” Kurt said, not meeting Blaine's eyes.

“Okay.”

“Last night. I woke up and we were kind of...well, sort of pasted together. I don't want you to get the wrong idea, or I don't want to think....shit, I don't know how to ask this without sounding like a complete ass,” Kurt ducked his head and turned away.

“No, it's fine. You can ask me anything. I think I know what you're going to say, so please just ask,” Blaine said in a reassuring voice. Actually, there were two things he thought Kurt might say, and either one of them would be awkward, and he didn't want to anticipate and be wrong, that would be more than awkward, it would be embarrassing.

“Ah, I know I was really needy last night and it was a unique experience for both of us. But I don't want you to think I was hugging you because I wanted something from you...something....” Kurt turned red and whispered the last word so quietly that Blaine hardly heard it, “sexual.”

“I understand that, Kurt, and it's fine. I am not out to seduce you, either. I just thought you needed a hug, some sort of reassurance that someone cares about you. And I do care, Kurt, more than I thought I would. But, no, I wasn't looking for a hook-up. I know I kissed you, but it was in the heat of the moment, to get my point across that I would be there for you. I meant that, Kurt. I will come to the hospital with you to see your dad, and if you need me, I'll come and hold your hand when you tell him you're gay. You can count on me, Kurt. Okay?”

“Yeah. Thank you, Blaine. Thank you.” Kurt fell against Blaine, blinking back tears of relief at knowing he had a friend, he had someone to stand by him. Blaine put an arm around him and pulled him close, placing a chaste kiss on his cheek.

“We'll get through this, Kurt. Now, let's go see your dad.” 

 


	5. Chapter 5

They pulled into the hospital parking lot, Blaine pulling on the parking brake and sitting still for a few minutes to collect himself. 

  


“Are you ready, Kurt?”

  


“Yeah. I'm kind of scared. He's been so sick for so long, and I just had to imagine my life without him...and all I could see was me, alone.” Kurt turned his head, blinking back tears and resolving to be stronger.

  


“I'll be there, Kurt. I'll hold your hand if you need me to.”

  


“Thank you, Blaine. Right now that means the world to me,” Kurt said softly. He put out his hand and brushed Blaine's cheek. Then he took a deep breath and opened the car door.

  


In the hospital room, Blaine saw a man in the bed. He recognized him from the photograph he'd brought Kurt, the same blue eyes, the same laugh-wrinkled face. And when the man opened his eyes and saw Kurt, it was the exact same love shining out of his whole face as he held up trembling arms to invite his son to hug him. Kurt didn't hesitate for a second – he ran across the room, skidding to a stop as he realized he couldn't just jump on his dad. Very gently he held out his own arms and embraced his dad, resting his face against Burt's shoulder.

  


“Oh, Dad, I love you,” Kurt said into his dad's ear, Blaine could hear him across the room. Blaine came in and sat in a chair in the corner, not wanting to disturb this bonding between father and son. 

  


“I love you, too, kiddo. Hey, have you been eating? You're skinny. I want you to eat,” his dad looked concerned. “And you've got a fever! What the hell, Kurt? Aren't you taking care of yourself?” Burt looked worried.

  


“I've just got a chill. I'm fine. I'm staying with a friend, Dad. This is Blaine Anderson,” he said, standing up and motioning to Blaine.

  


“Nice to meet you, sir, although I wish it was under different circumstances,” Blaine said, putting out his hand and shaking Burt's very gently.

  


“Nice to meet you, too,” Burt said, but looked at Kurt with raised eyebrows. “How long have I been asleep, Kurt? I don't remember you mentioning Blaine to me before.”

  


“Sir, Kurt and I met at a community volunteer project,” Blaine said. “We don't go to the same school, I attend Dalton Academy. Kurt and I got to be friends and when my brother and I found out he was staying alone, we asked him to stay at our house while you recovered. I hope that was alright.”

  


“Yes, of course. I'm happy he has friends that care about him,” Burt looked bewildered. 

  


“I think I'll go get some coffee. Can I bring back anything?” Blaine asked, thinking Kurt might want to be alone with his dad for a while.

  


“No, Blaine, but could you stay for a few minutes, please?” Kurt said, his eyes begging.

  


“Of course,” Blaine said, moving a little closer to Kurt. 

  


“Dad. I know you're tired and I want you to rest, but I have to tell you something. Is that okay?” Kurt asked, his lip beginning to tremble. Blaine's hand twitched, he wanted to hold Kurt's hand, he wanted to pull him into a tight embrace and kiss his cheek and tell him it was okay. But he couldn't. Kurt had to make the move if he needed him, and Blaine would have to just stand there and wait, ready if he was needed.

  


“What's up, kiddo? Is everything okay?” Burt was looking worried.

  


Kurt reached behind himself and took Blaine's hand in his, gripping tightly.

  


“Dad. I need to tell you......I'm....” he closed his eyes. The thought went through his head that they were in a hospital and if his dad reacted badly at least there were doctors. “I'm gay.”

  


Burt looked at him for a moment, as though trying to puzzle something out. 

  


“I know, Kurt. I've known since you were three and asked for sensible heels for your birthday.”

  


Kurt stared at him. “What?”

  


“Kurt, I love you. If gay is who you are, then it's still you and I love you. What else is there to say?”

  


Kurt just stood there, stunned. He thought his dad would be upset, even angry. But he was just his dad, loving him like he always had and always would. 

  


“I love you, too, dad.” 

  


Blaine smiled at Kurt, so happy it went well, kind of wishing in the back of his mind that his own coming out to his parents had gone so well. 

  


“So, is Blaine here your boyfriend? Is that why you're telling me this?” Burt was scrutinizing Blaine now, a much harder look than when he was first introduced and for a moment, Blaine was very glad he wasn't Kurt's boyfriend. 

  


“Oh, no. Dad. No. I don't have a boyfriend. I have just wanted to tell you for such a long time, and when you got sick, and I thought it might be too late, and I wanted you to know..” Blaine squeezed Kurt's hand to remind him he was there for him, but he didn't want to bring any more attention on himself.

  


“Kurt, Kurt. Everything is okay. I love you, kid, so quit worrying. So, you and Blaine are just friends?” Burt was staring at their hands. Blaine let go of Kurt's hand.

  


“I was just offering some support, Mr Hummel. Yes, we are just friends. Now, I'm going to go get that coffee. I'll be back in a few minutes, Kurt,” Blaine said, “I'm glad you're feeling better, Mr Hummel.”

  


After Blaine left, Kurt sat in a chair close to his dad, telling him how things were going at the shop and at school. Of course he never mentioned the night before by the river. After a short time, the doctor came in to do a check on Burt and spoke to Kurt about Burt's care. He would probably be in the hospital several more weeks, but things were looking good.

  


Blaine came back in about half an hour, knocking first and slipping into the room. Kurt could see his dad needed rest and he wasn't feeling very well himself, so he got ready to say goodbye.

  


“Are you going to stay with Blaine tonight?” Burt asked, again looking at Blaine very sharply.

  


“My family has insisted he stay with us until you're able to come home, Mr Hummel,” Blaine reassured Burt. “He is most welcome.”

  


“I'm glad he has a place with you, Blaine. Thank you, and I will repay you for your kindness,” Burt said.

  


“No payment necessary, we are happy to be of service,” Blaine said, reaching out his hand to shake Burt's goodbye.

  


“Bye, Dad. I'll take care of myself and I'll be here tomorrow to visit you again. Do what the doctors say,” Kurt grinned.

  


“Bye, Kiddo,” Burt closed his eyes. He was happy to have Kurt there, but he was still very tired.

  


 

  


Out in the car, Kurt was sitting still, not quite shaking, but so relieved he didn't know what to say. It was a very quiet ride back to Blaine's house.

  


~*~*~*~*

  


 

  


Back in Blaine's bedroom, Kurt was hanging up the last of his clothes. He had only brought a few, and most of those needed to be hung up. Blaine had cleared out a drawer for him to use while he was there and his skin products and toiletries were in a basket on a shelf in the bathroom. 

  


They had eaten lunch at a small restaurant in town and then gone to the phone store to get Kurt a new phone. Lucky for him, his phone had insurance, so he got a new one right away. Blaine took it and added his number to the contact list, calling his own phone to add Kurt's to his. He also put in Cooper's, just in case. By the time they got home, Kurt was falling asleep where he sat – so Blaine had taken him up to his bedroom and got him to take off some of the layers and climb into bed. Kurt's fever was up by then and the coughing had started in earnest. He got a pitcher of apple juice and glass, gave him cold medicine, set them by Kurt on the table and told Kurt he had to go check on the phone lines at the Help Center, but that he'd be back soon. Kurt lay down to get some sleep.

  


With Blaine gone, Kurt was able to just fall asleep. 

  


~*~*~*~*

  


“Kurt, are you hungry?” Cooper knocked on the door frame of Blaine's room. Kurt had been asleep for several hours.

  


Kurt opened his eyes, shook the sleep from his head and sat up. 

  


“Cooper? Oh, yeah, I am. Can I help with anything? Where's Blaine?” he mumbled, trying to wake up all the way, but feeling groggy.

  


“He just called. He's on his way home and will be here soon. I thought you might want to wash up before he got here,” Coop said, studying Kurt's face, which looked as though he might be in pain. “Hey, are you okay?”

  


“I think so, I just have some sort of cold. Must have been being out in the weather yesterday.”

  


“Well, I know you were talking to Blaine about it, but if you need anything, all you have to do is ask me. I've got strong shoulders if you need one to lean on, I don't know the details, but I get the idea you've had a hard few days. My brother thinks of you as his friend, so that's all I need to know,” Cooper said, smiling at Kurt.

  


“I'm okay for now. But thank you, I appreciate it. Oh, and thanks for taking me to get my Navigator. She's my baby and I was worried leaving her out on the road like that.”

  


“No problem. Wash up and Blaine should be home in a few and we'll have dinner. I cooked, so it should be good,” Coop said, laughing. 

  


Kurt got up, swaying a bit on his feet, and went in the bathroom to wash his face and get ready for dinner. He was wearing sweats, but changed into jeans and a nice shirt for dinner. He wanted the Andersons to think he had some manners after yesterday, and he was very grateful they were allowing him to stay. It would have been hard to stay at home alone after last night. He sighed, touched his hair one last time to be sure it was in place, and went down to the kitchen.

  


“Kurt!” Blaine greeted him as he entered the kitchen, throwing his arms in a quick hug around Kurt's shoulders. “How are you feeling? Did you get a good nap?” 

  


“Yeah, I'm okay.” Kurt answered, but Blaine felt his forehead and frowned.

  


“You still have a fever. How is your chest?” Blaine asked.

  


“Fine.” Blaine thumped him on the back, which broke loose a coughing fit that lasted for several minutes.

  


“You are not fine, Kurt. You're sick. Now, I want you to call your doctor in the morning so we can get you in for some medication. I don't think you can get near your dad if you're contagious,” Blaine told him.

  


“Okay. Otherwise I wouldn't go, but I don't want my dad to catch this,” Kurt conceded. He turned to Cooper. “What smells so delicious? Now I'm really hungry.”

  


Cooper smiled. “Chicken Parmesan with polenta and olives. I hope that's not too heavy if you're not feeling well.”

  


“No, it sounds fine. Can I help?”

  


Blaine finished removing his coat, gloves, hat and boots, slipping into loafers that sat by the door. 

  


“Here, let's set the table,” he said, guiding Kurt to the dish cupboard. They put the plates and such on the table while Cooper served the Chicken Parmesan and everyone sat down. Kurt only ate half of his portion, coughing so much he had trouble swallowing. His chest ached and he was still chilled and now his joints were starting to hurt. Even his head hurt a bit. 

  


“Blaine? I think Kurt is maybe sicker than he realizes. I want you to run him over to the urgent care clinic when you finish eating. Best get this looked at, don't you think?” Cooper glared at Kurt. 

  


“Sure, I'm done now. Just leave the dishes, I'll do them when we get back. Thanks for cooking, brother.”

  


Kurt didn't want to go to the clinic, but he was feeling worse. And he didn't want his dad to catch anything, so he put on the coat he'd borrowed from Cooper and left with Blaine for the clinic.

  


Once there, they didn't have to wait long before they were seen. The doctor came in and took Kurt's vitals and asked about how he felt. Blaine was sitting with him and told her how he had been out in the blizzard with no socks or coat and how tired he had been all day. He also told her about Kurt's dad and their concern about giving the cold to him. The doctor took notes and told them to wait.

  


An orderly came to take Kurt to the X-ray department. When he got back, the nurse came and took a throat culture. It seemed they were there forever, but it was only a few hours before the doctor returned.

  


“You have a fine case of pneumonia, son. I'm going to write you a prescription for antibiotics, a cough syrup that contains codeine, and an inhaler to help you breathe for a few days. Lucky for you we caught it so soon, the antibiotics should start to work by this time tomorrow. Don't visit your dad unless you're wearing a mask for 24 hours, then you won't be contagious. Now, have your friend here take you home and put you to bed. Stay in bed for the rest of the week and if you get worse, come back. Do you have any questions?” the doctor asked, patting Kurt on the knee as she looked at him over her glasses. “You need to be seen by your own physician or back here in five days, just to be sure you're getting better. Pneumonia is nothing to mess around with.”

  


Kurt agreed to all of it and let Blaine lead him back to the waiting room while he went to the hospital pharmacy to get his prescriptions. 

  


“Blaine? As long as we're here, can you go up and check on my dad? I don't want him to worry when I don't come tomorrow. I can wait for you here,” Kurt asked, pleading with his eyes.

  


“Of course, Kurt. Just wait here and I'll be back soon,” he agreed, putting a warm hand on Kurt's shoulder.

  


~*~*~*~

  


“Mr Hummel?” Blaine knocked on the door frame.

  


“Huh? Oh, Blaine is it? Hello, kid,” Burt said, looking up.

  


“Hi.” Blaine said, a little shy about talking to Kurt's dad.

  


“Hey, where's Kurt?” Burt looked past Blaine, expecting to see his son.

  


“Ah, he asked me to come see you. He's downstairs in the urgent care clinic. He's okay, though,” Blaine hurried to say, not wanting to worry Burt.

  


“If he's okay, then why is he in urgent care and why are you the one here? Not that I mind seeing you, but...” Burt gave Blaine a stare, daring him to dodge the question.

  


“Sir, Kurt got caught in the blizzard. He got really chilled and now he had a mild case of pneumonia. They are treating him with antibiotics and an inhaler, but advised him not to visit you until he'd been on them 24 hours. They don't want you to catch it,” Blaine told him, knowing he had to tell him everything about that, but not elaborating on why Kurt was in the blizzard. But Burt caught it and gave Blaine an I'm-not-putting-up-with-this glare.

  


“Why was he out in a blizzard?”

  


“He ran out of gas. I picked him up and took him to my house to feed him some warm stew and get him warm clothes, then the next day my brother and I took him to get his SUV. He got wet walking in the snow and he wasn't dressed for bad weather, and although I gave him warm socks, a hat, and a space blanket, as soon as I picked him up, he was pretty cold by then,” Blaine explained. He wasn't going to let Mr Hummel intimidate him. 

  


“That was kind of you, kid. I'm grateful Kurt has such friends. Now, why were you holding my son's hand when you were in here earlier today? As far as I know, casual friends don't hold hands. Don't try to pull the wool over my eyes, Blaine. I didn't fall off the turnip truck yesterday. I could see the way you looked at him. I may be sick, kid, but I need to know what's going on with my son,” Burt barked out. But Blaine could see the deep concern in his eyes, he could see how worried he was about Kurt. He wondered how much Burt knew about Kurt's depression. And how much he, as Kurt's friend, should tell. It wasn't his place to discuss Kurt's suicide attempt.

  


“Sir,..” Blaine started, but Burt interrupted.

  


“The name is Burt. Don't 'sir' me, kid. Call me 'Burt'.

  


“Okay, Burt. I am Kurt's friend, but we are not a couple, not romantic or anything. He was so scared about your health, and about coming out. I had a similar experience with my own parents, so I offered to come with him to tell you, to offer support if need be. I was just holding his hand for support, in case you had ….ah....reacted differently,” Blaine said. 

  


“Reacted differently? Kurt is my son. How could I not accept everything about him? It's his job to be himself, it's my job to love him no matter what,” Burt said, his eyes open in wonder as though he could not possibly imagine how a parent could react any differently, as though that was just the way the universe worked. Blaine was amazed that someone would have that mind set – and he wished with everything he had that his parents had reacted in a similar fashion. 

  


“Sir..Burt..surely you know that not every parent is like that. My parents didn't do anything like throw me out or anything drastic, but they weren't very...ah...supportive. Kurt is a lucky one, Burt. You're a great dad, no wonder he loves you so much,” Blaine said, a hitch in his voice.

  


“Well, he's a good kid. Thank you for stopping by to see me, Blaine. I appreciate all you've done for Kurt. Can you leave me your number? I tried to call Kurt this morning, but his phone was off,” Burt said.

  


“Oh, it's back on now. But I'll write my number down for you,” Blaine said. He wrote it on a pad by the bed and put out his hand to shake Burt's as he got ready to leave. “Kurt will be here the day after tomorrow when he isn't contagious. I know he'll miss seeing you, but he'll call you tonight. Goodnight, Burt.”

  


“Goodnight, Blaine. Take care of Kurt for me, okay?” Burt said.

  


“I will.”

  


Blaine walked out, pulling the big door closed behind him and turned to find himself wrapped in Kurt's arms, tears on his shoulder.

  


“Hey, now, Kurt. Everything's okay. Your dad is doing fine,” Blaine tried to reassure him, hugging back and brushing the tears from Kurt's cheeks. 

  


“Oh, Blaine. I don't know how to repay you. What if you hadn't been in the help center yesterday? I'd have jumped. And my dad would have woken up alone, and no explanation to soothe him even a little. Nobody knows I'm depressed...no one would be able to tell him. I am so grateful for you, Blaine,” Kurt said into Blaine's neck, continuing to sob.

  


Blaine directed him down the hall, trying to get as far from Burt's door as possible so he didn't hear Kurt. He knew part of it was that Kurt was really sick, and perhaps it affected his emotions. He tugged him into the elevator and pushed the button for the ground floor.

  


“Kurt, I don't believe you would have jumped. I know you felt it was the only thing you could do, but I sincerely believe you would have changed your mind. You would have saved yourself and been there for your dad. Now, don't dwell on it anymore tonight. We need to get you home and into bed, okay?” Blaine asked. 

  


The drive home was quiet, and Kurt held Blaine's hand on the console, tight like it was a lifeline. Blaine let him, thinking if it gave him some support or comfort - it was a good thing. He could tell Kurt wanted to ask him something, but was content to wait until the boy was ready. 

  


At home, Blaine took Kurt up to his room, handing him a clean pair of pajamas – forgetting Kurt probably had his own – and left to get some juice and things for bedtime. When he returned, Kurt was sitting on the side of the bed, Cooper's old flannel pajamas on and socks over his feet.

  


“Blaine? I know you said there is a guest room, but is it okay if I stay in here with you? I had a terrible nightmare this afternoon and.....well....” Kurt didn't want to say it.

  


“If it would help you sleep, Kurt, I'm fine with it. We are friends, and I want you to be comfortable. A snuggle from a friend is something we all need now and then -don't be embarrassed to ask it of me, okay?”

  


“Okay. Thanks, Blaine,” Kurt said, smiling a little in relief.

  


Blaine gave Kurt his medication and slipped out to change his clothes, coming back in the batman pajamas Cooper had gotten him for Christmas last year. Kurt smiled when he saw them, giggling into his hand, Blaine strutting over and twirling as though he were on a catwalk in a fashion show. 

  


Blaine put a glass of water on the bedside table in case Kurt needed it during the night and they shut off the lights and climbed under the covers. Blaine tugged Kurt close and they put their arms around each other in a loose embrace, comfortable as though they had been sleeping like that all their lives. 

  


It didn't take long for them to fall asleep, but around 2 a.m. Kurt was tossing and turning in his sleep, whimpering and his fever was up. Blaine gently woke him up, brushing his fingers over Kurt's cheek and calling his name softly until he opened his eyes.

  


“Kurt, I think you were having a nightmare. Are you okay?” Blaine asked.

  


“Yeah..I think so. I was dreaming about the storm. It was so cold, and I was falling -looking down at the swirling water, knowing I was going to die in it. Then it was too late, I'd jumped, and my dad started calling my name. He needed me, but I couldn't get back up on the bridge. I was scratching at the freezing posts, trying to climb but slipping..” Kurt was trembling, his heart racing in his chest. Blaine rubbed the muscles in the back of his neck down to his shoulders. He massaged them, working the tense knots out one by one, humming a tune. He had turned on the bedside lamp, and the soft, warm light highlighted Kurt's beautiful face as he closed his eyes and relaxed into Blaine's tender touch. They stayed like that for a while, Blaine massaging until Kurt was relaxed enough to lie down.

  


“Here, it's time for your cough syrup. It has codeine in it, so it will also help you sleep. You just need some rest.” Blaine spooned it out and gave Kurt the glass of water to chase it down with.

  


“Can we – can we leave the light on for a little while, Blaine? If it won't bother you. I'm kind of scared from the nightmare. I guess that sounds lame, but it's true,” Kurt blushed.

  


“No, it's fine. I don't mind at all. I used to have nightmares, all the time. I slept with the light on for a couple of years. I still do sometimes. I would turn it on and try to sleep, but a lot of the time I would end up creeping down the hall to Cooper's room and crawling in bed with him. I can't tell you how many times he woke up to find me with my arms wrapped around him. I still do it once in a while,” Blaine confessed.

  


“What are yours about?” Kurt asked.

  


“The kid that carved me.” Blaine said, burying his face in Kurt's neck. He hated to talk about.

  


“Hey, Blaine. Does it still bother you so much? I'm sorry. You know they can't hurt you anymore. I would be here for you if anyone tried. You know, I'll stand by you, too, Blaine. You're my friend and I'll stand by you,” he sort of sang the last few words, eliciting a smile from Blaine.

  


Kurt reached down to the hem on Blaine's pajama top. He looked at Blaine's face and said, “May I?”

  


Blaine nodded, even though he really didn't want anyone to see. He closed his eyes as Kurt gently lifted the fabric of the shirt, exposing Blaine's belly. He moved the waistband of his pajama pants down past the scars, just enough to see the edges. Blaine closed his eyes tighter, wrapping the sheet in his hands to keep from trembling.

  


Kurt moved over Blaine's body, so he could see the lines of the twisted, thick scars. He put out one finger and traced the distorted skin along each line. Blaine let him, feeling each raised scar as Kurt's finger was drawn along it. When the kid cut him, another one of the kids had taken dirt and smeared it into the cuts, telling Blaine how dirty he was. The scars were cleaned out in the hospital, but they remained dark, like a tattoo, which made the word “FAGGOT” stand out. Kurt could see that along with the scars from the knife, there were tiny dots, no doubt where the needle for the stitches pierced the skin. He wondered how many stitches it took to close the open wounds, how long Blaine laid in the sand under the dock before someone came and saved him. Tears stung his eyes as the anger welled up inside of him, thinking of the injustice of it all. Had the kids that had done this paid for what they did? He hoped so with all of his heart. And he cried inside for Blaine.

  


“Blaine, you know these scars don't define you, don't you?” Kurt asked. Blaine shrugged, too undone with emotion to speak. He wanted to grab his clothes and pull them over him, to crawl under the blankets and force Kurt to go away. He wanted to hide the repulsive scars from Kurt, so he wouldn't know about Blaine's ugly past. But he also knew that he was the one that showed them to Kurt in the first place – so Kurt would know he wasn't alone, he didn't have to kill himself because there was another person in this world like him. He couldn't speak, but the tears began to fall down his face, unchecked as he twisted his hands more tightly in the blanket.

  


“It's okay, Blaine. I have scars, too. Mine might not be so visible on my skin, but they're there just the same. You have someone that understands, Blaine. Me. I understand and you're not alone.” Kurt leaned forward and started to kiss the scars, starting at one end, he moved his lips along the scars as they twisted along Blaine's belly. It wasn't a sensual kiss, not at all. It was a kiss of recognition, to let Blaine know that Kurt saw them and they didn't make any difference. They weren't repugnant to Kurt because they were part of Blaine. Kurt recognized that the world sometimes left scars on you – and it became a part of you, whether it was on your skin or in your heart. 

  


“Blaine, scars are a good thing. They are proof you lived through the bad times, that you were strong in the face of the worst. Scars don't form on a dead body, Blaine, they are there to prove you were stronger than what happened to you. You survived.”

  


He ended by kissing Blaine, a chaste kiss on the lips, but again, it was not a sensual kiss, it was one of recognition and of thanks. Blaine let go of the sheets with his cramping fists and tried to relax. Kurt pulled his pajamas back where they belonged and then pulled Blaine close to him, wrapping his arms around Blaine, and Blaine held him tightly for a moment.

  


“Thank you, Kurt. I think we can heal each other, maybe. We can try.” And both boys went to sleep with a renewed hope in their hearts.


	6. Chapter 6

Every day Burt was feeling a little bit better. There were no huge jumps in his recovery, and there were small setbacks such as when they had to adjust his medication, but on the whole, Burt was making progress and his prospects for going home were getting closer. Kurt had been there to visit almost every day, usually with his new friend, Blaine, in tow. Burt liked Blaine. He was a nice kid, good manners and he seemed to care a lot about Kurt. And, really, that was the only thing Burt cared about.

There was still something dark and brooding in Kurt, something that Burt couldn't get a handle on, but repeated questioning was not getting him anywhere. When the boys came to visit, he asked Kurt to go get him a newspaper – knowing full well that he'd have to go down the street to the vendor because the hospital gift shop was closed.

As soon as he left, Burt turned to Blaine.

“What's wrong with Kurt?”

“Sir?” Blaine asked.

“Don't 'Sir' me. What's wrong with my son? I know something is bothering him, but he won't tell me,” Burt said, looking sad and lost.

“Mr Hummel, I know that Kurt was very much affected by your heart attack. I didn't even meet him until the day before you woke up, so he was, as far as I know, alone for the weeks you were in a coma. Further than that, I can't say. I know you'll understand that anything Kurt has told me was said in confidence. He's still staying with us and I see that he's eating again. But, did I notice that he is depressed? Yes. I have suggested he go see someone, but he is reluctant with you in the hospital,” Blaine said, not willing to sweep this under the rug, but also not willing to disclose anything Kurt told him in confidence.

“Okay, kid. I'll talk to him. Our insurance will cover that, no problem. Thank you for being straight with me. I may be sick, but I'm neither stupid or a baby. Not even senile yet. But, seriously – can you just call me BURT. I always look behind me for my grandpa when someone says 'Mr Hummel',” he said with a laugh. Blaine smiled at him.

“So, he is eating?” Burt asked. “He was just skin and bones when he came that first night.”

“My brother is an excellent cook, Mr Hummel,” Blaine said. “Now you're on the road to recovery, Kurt's appetite has come back.”

“Maybe I'll come stay at your house, too, then because the food here is awful. All that low-fat, no-salt tasteless stuff. And you can bet Kurt's going to be cooking that for me when he gets me home, too. He's been trying to get me to eat that rabbit food for years, now he has a reason to,” Burt grumbled.

“Maybe you should have listened to him,” Blaine said gently, patting the man's hand.

“Yeah, I should have,” Burt conceded.

Kurt breezed back in to the room, newspaper in hand, and sat down next to his dad's bed.

“What's up?” he asked, looking at the sad faces of his father and friend.

“Kurt, your dad is concerned about you. I told him that what you have shared with me is in confidence, but that I am concerned, too. I also told him I had encouraged you to seek a counselor, which he tells me your insurance will cover. So, there it all is out in the open. I don't believe in having secret discussions behind someone's back – not that I'm implying you did, Mr Hummel, but I think Kurt should know we have both noticed you're depressed and we care, Kurt.”

“Well, you sure don't sugar-coat anything, do you, Anderson?” Kurt snapped, crossing his arms over his chest. 

Burt smiled a little at his stubborn son. “No, Kurt, he apparently doesn't. And I'm glad of that. At least we have it out on the table now. So, you call tomorrow and make an appointment and we'll get this taken care of. Okay? I'll feel better, Blaine will feel better, and you will feel better. End of discussion.”

“I guess I don't have a choice, do I?” he asked, but he already knew the answer. “Well, I guess we're on our way, then. I have homework to get done. I'll see you tomorrow, Dad,” Kurt said, hugging him and turning to pick up his messenger bag. 

Out at the car, Kurt slid in his seat and waited for Blaine to get in.

“What the hell was that, Anderson?” Kurt spat at him as he eased himself into the driver's seat.

“Your dad asked me what was up with you, Kurt. I couldn't tell him about the bridge, but he was really concerned – so I told him I had noticed you were depressed. We've talked about it, Kurt. I sincerely believe you need to talk to someone. I hope you don't mind that I spoke to your dad, but he brought it up,” Blaine said, worry wrinkling his forehead as he looked Kurt in the eyes, hoping for understanding. “Shit, Kurt, it's only because I care.”

Kurt broke the stare and gazed out the window. He did care that Blaine was talking about him to his dad, but it seemed it was only to say they were worried. Well, he could cut Blaine some slack over that – he did scare the guy the night on the bridge.

“Okay, Blaine. It's okay. Do you have some list of people I might see? I don't even know who to talk to to get this started and the guidance counselor at my school is kind of useless,” Kurt said, looking back at Blaine.

“Of course, I can get you several names, all anonymously. I'll have them for you tomorrow,” Blaine assured his friend. Then he held out his hand, waiting for Kurt to take it. 

“Thank you, Blaine. I may not show it, but I do appreciate you and all you've done,” and he took Blaine's hand and held it tight for a moment before letting it go so Blaine could start the car. They went home to Blaine's house, singing along with the radio and giving each other small smiles.

~*~*~*~*~

Friday night, and the boys were at the Anderson house, having gone by Kurt's to get some things and check on mail and everything. 

“Whoa! What smells so delicious?” Cooper said, taking off his coat as he entered the kitchen. 

“It's Kurt's turn to cook, ask him,” Blaine said, consumed with his homework at the dining table, typing into his laptop and not paying particular attention to anything else around him.

“It's roast duck with pomegranate molasses, snow pea pods with mushrooms, and wild rice. I just threw it together, you know.” Kurt laughed. Blaine laughed, too, knowing how many hours it had taken Kurt to make the dinner.

Cooper set the table, opened a bottle of wine, and put glasses of water at each place. In less than an hour, everyone was seated at the table, happily conversing as they ate the delicious food. Coop smiled at Kurt, “Would you please marry me, Kurt?”

“What?” Kurt sputtered, eyes open wide. Although neither of the other two diners saw, Blaine paled and his mouth fell open. He recovered quickly, before anyone noticed and forced himself to laugh at Cooper's joke. Wow, where did that emotion come from? Blaine asked himself. Was that jealousy? He was just friends with Kurt, they shared some similar experiences. So, why was he so quick to get upset at an innocent joke? 

“Earth to Blaine!” Cooper said, “Hey, Squirt, where's your head? Kurt asked you a question.”

“Oh, sorry. I guess my mind is still on the homework,” Blaine said, turning to Kurt.

“Nothing important, just wondering if you liked the snow peas,” Kurt told him, smiling.

“Wonderful, Kurt. The whole meal is wonderful,” Blaine smiled into Kurt's face. Cooper looked at the two boys, a look of wonder on his face, there was more here than the two were admitting to.

~*~*~*~*~

Later that night, Blaine came to bed after his shower, his hair damp with the curls springing all over his head. Kurt smiled, glad he hadn't taken the time to put any gel or other product in his hair. He began to think: why would it matter how Blaine did his hair? He had been thinking more and more about Blaine, finding himself watching as Blaine walked down the hall – admiring the taught muscles under the soft fabric. He thought about Blaine's sparkling eyes, that golden hazel with the little bits of moss green that made them look like water in a mountain stream. He closed his eyes, and the picture in his mind of Blaine's smile, those beautiful cupid's bow lips, the dusting of soft hair on his chest, his knees that were slightly dimpled – he thought about Blaine all the time.

Kurt was still sleeping in Blaine's bed. Very platonic. But it didn't stop his brain from going into overdrive when Blaine would do something like sigh in his sleep and sound like he was enjoying himself. As much as Kurt liked looking at Blaine, it was the sounds Blaine made that made his heart beat harder in his chest. His voice had a timbre in it that vibrated with Kurt's own, and it came out when they sang together, so Kurt took every opportunity to sing along with the radio when he was with Blaine. He had even made a songlist on his iPod made up of songs that Kurt knew their voices blended and contrasted with the best, and he played it whenever they were in the car together.

And the way Blaine smelled! At night, when they were cuddled together, Kurt took every opportunity to bury his nose in Blaine's neck. He smelled like vanilla cookies. Kurt couldn't figure out why, it made no sense. But somehow in the combination of sweat and facial products, scents that clung to Blaine in his everyday life – there was an underlying scent of vanilla and it drove Kurt wild to smell it. He could never eat a vanilla cookie ever again without thinking of Blaine. 

Burt would be coming home soon, probably less than two weeks, and that was such a double-edged sword. Kurt loved his dad and wanted him home where he belonged. He missed him, to the point it was still a burning ache to think of their house as being empty; but that was tempered with the joy that bubbled in Kurt's veins that his dad would be home again, would still be with him each and every day. He would wake up every morning to fix his dad breakfast. It was so good to think about it.

But, on the other hand, he would miss being with Blaine. He'd miss all the meals with the Anderson brothers, Cooper reading things from the newspaper out loud as he and Blaine poured chocolate syrup on the pancakes Cooper had made for the meal. There were a hundred little things that made up each day with the Anderson's that Kurt would miss. But most of all, he would miss sleeping in the same bed as Blaine. He had needed a port in the storm the first night, he was so broken and Blaine had known how to hold all the pieces together until Kurt could heal himself, and Blaine asked for nothing in return. It was warm comfort that Kurt had been craving for a long time -maybe even years. Since his mother had died, his dad had done his best – he had held Kurt, never letting anything come between the touch he knew Kurt needed so much. But the comfort he gained from Burt was different than what he'd gotten from his mother somehow. Not less, just different. And for some reason, Blaine seemed to be able to provide that missing piece to him, which was a puzzle and a wonder at the same time.

Blaine stretched and yawned, turning to Kurt, “Do you want the light on tonight?” 

“No, I'm doing okay, but thank you,” Kurt replied. He hadn't had a nightmare for two nights now, so he felt better and hoped maybe that was over.

“Goodnight, Kurt,” he said.

“Goodnight, Blaine,” Kurt said back.

Blaine turned out the lights and rolled away from Kurt, pulling the blankets over his shoulder. Kurt wasn't sure why he'd done that, Blaine usually put out his arms for Kurt to snuggle into. Had he done something? He couldn't think of anything, they'd had a long day at school – he at McKinley, Blaine at Dalton. Blaine had picked him up after school and he'd made the duck for dinner. He was filing through his whole day in his mind, looking for what he'd done to cause Blaine to be upset at him, but he wasn't finding anything when Blaine spoke.

“Kurt? Is everything okay? You're not cuddling me...” Blaine said, turning back to look at Kurt in the small amount of light the moon provided.

“Ah, no, nothing's wrong. I guess I was just lost in thought. Sorry,” Kurt stammered, scooting closer. Blaine turned back and Kurt put his arms around Blaine and brought his chest close to Blaine's back and rested his cheek on Blaine's shoulder blade. He could feel Blaine's heartbeat through the back of his pajamas, a steady sound that would soon lull Kurt to sleep once again. This was so perfect, Kurt thought, he didn't want to give it up.

“Kurt? Are you still awake?” Blaine asked almost an hour later, though he knew the answer, he could feel Kurt's muscles weren't relaxed and his breathing was irregular, not the steady rhythm of sleep.

“Yeah, Blaine, I guess I am. I'm sorry, was I keeping you up?” Kurt replied.

“Well, if you mean were you keeping me from sleeping the answer is no,” Blaine said.

“I don't understand. What else would you mean..?” Kurt stopped, realizing what else Blaine could mean by those words 'keeping me up'. “Blaine? What are you saying?”

“Nothing. Forget it,” Blaine said, mad at himself for saying anything. He was here to comfort Kurt, not seduce him. He was instantly regretful, Kurt had trusted him to be a friend, to provide support in his time of worry and need, not to tell him how much lying next to him in bed was beginning to arouse him. It was a good thing it was so dark because Blaine was blushing a dark red.

Kurt moved his arms tighter around Blaine, thinking about what he'd said. It was true that several times over the past weeks that one or the other of the boys had awoken with a hardness they couldn't exactly hide in such close proximity, but they just repositioned themselves to avoid any contact until it relaxed again. Neither of them said anything, it wasn't a topic that needed attention, just a typical physical result of being close. But it had been happening more often in the past three or four days. Kurt had forced himself to get up and go to the bathroom to take care of it himself the night before, but he hoped Blaine didn't know. 

Blaine tried to fall back asleep, but it didn't work. He was now so hard he was uncomfortable. It was the reason he had started the night turned away from Kurt, he couldn't help it and he was unable to tell Kurt that was why. He was also unable to go somewhere else to sleep, he missed Kurt when they weren't sleeping tangled together. He started to wonder when this had all started. He had been attracted to Kurt from the moment he'd seen the photograph in the SUV that night they met. The thick chestnut hair, every strand in place, the rosy cheeks and dimpled smile. And those eyes...blue, green, gray – like some sort of beautiful kaleidoscope, changing a little with every movement or emotion. Oh, he had to stop thinking like this, he was doing his poor, neglected, aroused body no good at all. 

He had to think of something else. But now he could hear Kurt, restless in the bed, moving a little so as not to disturb Blaine. But it did disturb him. A lot. He thought back to the day Kurt had looked at his scars. At the time it wasn't sensual, well, at least not lustful. It was sensual. Kurt had traced the horrible scars, but he wasn't repulsed by them. He put his sensitive lips on them and traced the pathways, eliciting more reaction than Blaine thought possible. The scar tissue itself had no nerve endings, but when they were touched, it increased the feeling at the edges. In some places it was a prickling pain, not enough to cry out, but definitely felt. Some places at the edge of the largest scars it was a pleasureful sensation, like being touched in an intimate place, but more. More what, he didn't know -it was just more. 

Kurt interrupted his thoughts. “Blaine, is something wrong? I just have the feeling we need to talk or something, but I'm sort of confused.”

“Talk about what?” Blaine asked, adjusting once again to try to alleviate the strong yearning of his aroused parts.

“I don't know how to say this,” Kurt whispered.

“I think we can say anything to each other by now, Kurt. Just say it and then we can decide how to continue. Do you need something from me? Is that why it's hard to ask? Don't worry, Kurt, we're friends and you can ask anything,” Blaine said back in his soft voice.

“You won't hurt my feelings, no matter what you answer, Blaine, but ….do we have something between us, something more than just comforting each other about our insecurities? I mean, that is enough, I have told you that your caring for me saved my life. You know that. But do we have something more?” Kurt asked, terrified of the answer. If Blaine said there wasn't more and he got angry that Kurt had assumed such, would he make him leave? That thought terrified Kurt. But if there was more, more than caring, more like affection, attraction.....Kurt was equally terrified of that.

 


	7. Chapter 7

Blaine didn't know what to say at first. There was more he needed to say, he was attracted to Kurt. But he was scared, too. Maybe lying in bed, practically pasted to him and sporting a hard-on wasn't exactly the best place to be discussing this. Or maybe it was....Blaine turned toward Kurt, his erection deliberately brushing against Kurt's leg. Blaine held his breath in anticipation of what Kurt would say, but all he got was a gasp. Kurt began to tremble beside Blaine, and Blaine started to move away, cursing himself for acting on such a stupid idea. But Kurt grabbed at him, taking his shoulder to pull him back and practically climbing on top of Blaine to bring their lips together in a tentative kiss. Blaine kissed back, feeling that Kurt's body had been in the same state of arousal as his own, Kurt's erection like a brass rod rubbing against Blaine's inner thigh.

“Well, I guess that answers that question,” Blaine said a few minutes later when they stopped for air. Kurt giggled. 

They lay just looking at each other, giving in to a little laughter, but otherwise just looking into each others' eyes. Then, like magnets that were resting too close together, they fell back in each others' arms. Blaine pushed Kurt back into the mattress, kissing him and humming in contentment as he let his tongue slip out just enough to touch it to Kurt's bottom lip and move along the plump part before returning to the kiss. Kurt opened his mouth a little, not sure of how this was all supposed to go. This was his first real kiss and he hoped his inexperience wasn't showing. But Blaine seemed to be enjoying himself, kissing back and now letting his tongue slip into Kurt's mouth. Oh, that was wonderful. Kurt had given this particular act a lot of thought over the years, but the actual kiss was so different than he had imagined. Blaine tasted good, which was a surprise because Kurt hadn't thought about that aspect. Blaine moved his hand under Kurt's loose pajama shirt and started caressing his skin and Kurt lost all ability to analyze the situation – he went with the feelings and lost himself in being with Blaine in this new and sensual way. 

“Blaine.....”

“Yeah?”

“Ah, I have sort of a confession to make. I've never even touched another boy before,” Kurt said, hesitant because of his inexperience.

“It's okay, Kurt. I haven't either. We can learn together maybe?” Blaine said back, feeling very unsure of himself. He leaned very close, and whispered in Kurt's ear, his breath warm and damp as he touched Kurt gently on his neck and slid his fingers down to touch his collarbone in a soft caress. “You can touch me, Kurt. I'd like it if you did.”

Warmth flooded all of Kurt's senses. What did he say? Oh....Kurt put out a hand, his tentative touch tickling Blaine as he ran his finger over his cheek, along his jaw and then along his lips. He was shy and scared, but he wanted this so badly. He began with removing Blaine's pajama shirt, then trailed his fingers down the center of Blaine's chest, swirling around the ribs and sternum in a random pattern, seeing in the dim light the goose flesh that appeared in the wake of his touch. He followed a muscle, feeling it's strength under the soft skin and then centering on the pink nipple of Blaine's left chest. He circled it, Blaine gasping a little, and then added a tiny bit more pressure, mostly because he wanted to see what it felt like but enjoying the sound that came out of Blaine's mouth when he did it. He wanted to hear that sound again, so he leaned forward and pointed his tongue, just touching the tip to where his finger had just been. Blaine not only gasped again, but he let out a sort of squeak. Encouraged by this, Kurt flattened his tongue and licked over the nipple, slowly back and forth until the squeak turned into a moan. That sound almost brought Kurt to orgasm, and he moved to the other nipple to do it all again. 

“Take off your pajamas, Kurt,” Blaine asked, looking expectantly at Kurt's face and seeing him blush, even in the low light of the moon streaming in the window. Kurt didn't hesitate, he climbed out of the blankets to sit on the end of the bed, although he moved very slowly as if he were contemplating the results of his actions. Blaine untied his pajama pants, removed them, and slipped back under the covers before he could change his mind. He picked up the corner of the blanket and held it invitingly to Kurt, who slid back underneath the sheets next to Blaine.

“Do you want me to do that to you, Kurt? Lick your nipples?” Blaine asked in a quiet voice full of emotion. Kurt couldn't say anything, his throat choked with too many feelings - a mixture of want, need, embarrassment, curiosity, fear of rejection, and so many more. He pulled back the blanket and cupped his hand around the back of Blaine's neck and gently pulled him close, positioning his lips so they brushed the dusky pink bits of flesh. He made a small noise in his throat, one of need or lusty craving that made Blaine's heart quicken as he felt the stiffness on his tender lips. He wondered how something so small, something so insignificant could make him feel so good -as though there were an electric wire connecting his nipple to his cock when Kurt's tongue had made contact. He watched Kurt's face to see if it did the same thing when he licked them. 

Kurt had closed his eyes in order to concentrate on the touch and when Blaine's tongue grazed over the spot it was an intense jolt, Kurt almost shouted. His body curled forward and he had grabbed Blaine's face in reflex, moaning at the touch. His back arched as he pushed his chest forward, not wanting the feeling to end, and Blaine bent his head forward to continue his ministrations. 

“Blaine, ah, Blaine..if just touching my nipples feels this good, what is touching my penis going to feel like?” Kurt said, although he thought it was just in his mind and didn't realize he had said it aloud. Blaine stopped and drew back to stare at Kurt, who was all but panting by now. 

“Oh, I didn't mean to say that...I'm sorry, Blaine, I was just thinking out loud....” Kurt babbled on, but stopped suddenly and put his hand under the blanket and grasped Blaine's flesh. It was very gentle and his hands were amazingly soft, but it felt like his skin was being burned, the heat of the blood coursing through the veins was almost too much. 

“Like that,” Kurt said in a husky whisper as he explored the length of Blaine's penis with his fingers, very slowly and with tenderness as though he might do it damage. It was as if he thought the organ was either made of glass or perhaps might blow up with rough treatment. Kurt was using both hands now, trading places as the one hand gripped around the shaft came to the tip, he took it off and placed it on the base and moved the other hand up to repeat the same thing over and over. Blaine was just undone by this, gasping for air and humming, moaning, closing his eyes, but the friction was wrong and he tried to think of how to tell Kurt. 

After a few moments of that, Kurt stopped. Blaine's eyes snapped open, a deprived look in his eyes for a minute until he realized he was being selfish and Kurt would like to feel it, too. He started to sit up, but Kurt laid a hand on his chest to indicate he should stay where he was.

“Do you have any lube?” Kurt asked.

Blaine just stared at him for a moment. “Me? No....” 

Kurt backed up and got out of bed, Blaine's hand following his as if to bring him back.

“Where are you going?” Blaine almost whined.

“To see if I can borrow some from Cooper,” Kurt said, and Blaine blanched pale, his mouth open in shock.

“NO!”

Kurt almost doubled up in laughter. “Of course I'm not going to ask your brother, Blaine. Chill. I'm just going in here for a second,” He said, walking into the bathroom. He returned with a bottle.

Climbing back into bed, he poured a small amount of thick liquid into his palm. “This is just unscented lotion, it won't cause any irritation, but I think I should warm it up a little first,” Kurt said, running his other hand down Blaine's inner thigh to calm him. He closed his hand so the lotion wouldn't spill and got closer to Blaine, placing his mouth on Blaine's and kissing him. Blaine's hands cupped Kurt's face, kissing back for a while before he felt Kurt's hand back on his penis. The lotion was warm now and felt smooth and sensual as Kurt ran his hand down and up again, coating it with the slick liquid. This felt totally different, the friction was different and it aroused Blaine more than he had even imagined. Kurt was dragging his hand, tightly wrapped around the girth, up and down, making a slight sideways movement whenever he reached the ridge so that the stimulation there was more intense.

Just when Blaine thought it couldn't get any better, Kurt's other hand came down between Blaine's legs to softly fondle his balls. Not a lot, he was being very gentle as though Blaine were a delicate and precious thing, but this added sensation was just the catalyst needed to push Blaine into an intense orgasm, moaning and gasping while Kurt didn't let up on his motions until Blaine had spent himself. He lay back, panting and trying to catch his breath, unable to speak or even put two thoughts together. Kurt could see his face, so beautiful as he came, now relaxed with a natural smile gracing his lips. He opened his arms, gathering Kurt close to his chest, kissing his hair. 

They just lay together for a long time, eyes closed at first, but opening to look into the other's eyes, sometimes to kiss. Blaine, finally recovered, leaned up on his forearm to kiss Kurt. 

“That was so different than anything I imagined it would be, Kurt, so much more intense. I don't know why we haven't been doing this all along,” Blaine said, beginning to stroke Kurt's chest in a sensual way, tracing patterns with his fingers the way he'd done earlier. He continued to kiss, moving from Kurt's lips down his neck to his collarbone where he sucked blood to the surface of the thin skin and left a rose of purple behind as he moved on, kissing and caressing his way down Kurt's chest. He found that he really liked the taste of Kurt's skin. It was soft and pale with golden and pink highlights that showed up in the moonlight, like the inside of some exotic shell found only at the bottom of the sea. Kurt kind of tasted like the sea, a little salty but fresh. 

He reached Kurt's waist and felt Kurt's muscles stiffen and his breath catch.

“Are you okay, Kurt?” Blaine asked.

“Ah, yes, but I guess I'm a little nervous. Are you sure you want to keep doing that?' he was clearly worried about where Blaine was going with his mouth. Blaine smiled to himself, he knew exactly where he was going, and he thought Kurt would enjoy it if he gave himself a chance.

“Just relax, you're in good hands. Inexperienced, but my enthusiasm will more than make up for that, I hope,” Blaine said in a calming voice.

Kurt lay back and let it happen. He wasn't able to relax in the way Blaine had, but he did his best considering what was obviously going to happen in just a few....AHHHHHH. 

Instead of a slow buildup that Kurt was expecting, Blaine had opened his mouth and slid Kurt's cock in as far as it would reach, eliciting a squeal from the throat of one surprised boy. Blaine would have grinned if that were possible. He moved his tongue from the tip down the underside of the shaft to the base, or as close as his under-educated mouth seemed able to take. 

From all that Blaine had read over the internet, this would take a little while to achieve and he had to find and maintain a certain rhythm, which he was willing to do if Kurt would just give him a chance to do it. But Kurt was anxious and almost trembling as Blaine caressed and fondled his cock with his talented tongue, using his other hand to touch further back between Kurt's thighs, molding his fingers gently around Kurt's balls and moving his fingers slowly, like a sea anemone, to increase the stimulation. He came down again on Kurt's penis, his tongue flattened to add increased pressure to the vein and around the ridge, sucking ever so slightly when he felt a tightening in Kurt's balls and suddenly, before he had time to prepare, warm salty liquid was bursting forth like a fourth of July firework into his throat with amazing force. 

Blaine choked and pulled back, his mouth open in mild shock as semen spattered out and down his chest while he coughed. He had the presence of mind to hold on to Kurt's cock so it didn't spray all over, and so he could add a bit of gentle friction to ensure the pleasure was completely spent by the end. He hardly had time to enjoy the sounds that he loved so much coming from Kurt's musical throat when he placed a reassuring hand on Kurt's chest in a stroke of comfort before he backed off the bed and into the bathroom, closing the door behind him.

He spit in the sink, quietly so Kurt didn't hear him, he didn't want to hurt his feelings, but he had no idea what semen was going to taste like. He had assumed it was salty – and it was – but there was a bitter taste, too. Wow, it really wasn't so bad, but the funny taste coupled with the surprise meant he had not handled this very well. He grabbed the mouthwash and sloshed a bit in his mouth, swished and spit, followed by a long drink of water. He took a deep breath and went back through the door.

Kurt was still on the bed, wiping himself with a moist towelette that he must have brought with him when he brought the lotion. He wouldn't look at Blaine, clearly embarrassed. Blaine wasn't sure what to say, but Kurt's self-esteem was low enough, he had to say something to make him feel better. Blaine went to the cupboard outside the bathroom and got out a set of sheets for his bed. He started taking off the soiled ones and balled them up to set in a laundry basket before shaking the clean one out. Kurt took the other corners and they made the bed together, still not even looking at each other. Blaine slipped on a clean pair of pajama pants and held out another pair to Kurt, who took them with a small smile that faded instantly.

Blaine slid into the new sheets, smelling the laundry soap and feeling the smooth, clean feeling of fresh linen. He loved clean sheets. He held up the corner of the covers, inviting Kurt to come lie next to him with his eyes. Kurt complied. They turned out the lights and cuddled together, Kurt letting out a sigh. 

“Hey, is everything okay?” Blaine asked.

“Yeah,” Kurt mumbled.

Blaine leaned forward, kissing Kurt's forehead as he was lying partly on Blaine's chest, his arm around Kurt's back.

“Kurt, that was wonderful. I know I'm new at this, but I had no idea it...well, things...oh, shit. I had no idea how that would feel and it was so much more than I expected,” Blaine finally said. “Was it the way you had pictured it?”

“More or less. Okay, it was more. A lot more. Thank you, Blaine. I know you didn't have to do that last, I would have been happy with just your hand,” he said in a tiny voice, obviously embarrassed to talk about his.

“Hands feel good. I just wanted to give you more,” Blaine said.

Kurt moved his mouth close to Blaine's ear and whispered into it, “Can I ask a stupid, embarrassing question and you won't get mad at me?”

“Yes. I don't know if I can answer it, but I'll try,” Blaine agreed.

“What did it taste like?”

“Oh. Well, in all the stories I've read, they seem to like it. But it's funny, not really bad but kind of salty and kind of bitter...” Blaine said, blushing.

“You didn't have to do that. And I'm so sorry I didn't warn you, but I didn't know,” Kurt buried his face in Blaine's neck.

“Hey, now. It was a learning experience, it wasn't going to be perfect. We'll have to practice maybe?”

Kurt giggled. He wasn't feeling so awkward now. “I can't describe it...your tongue, your mouth...on me.....so hot, and wet and well, it was so overwhelming to me that I didn't realize...until it was too late...”

“Kurt. It was fine. I know how anatomy works, but I was overwhelmed, too. I mean it when I say it was fine. Do you want to stop? I won't even ask again if you tell me you don't want to,” he reassured Kurt. 

“Oh, no, I didn't mean that. I would like to do that again, maybe something similar, too. I just wanted to tell you I was sorry,” Kurt said.

“Nothing to be sorry about, nothing at all. I enjoyed it. A lot.” Blaine said, blushing a little. “All you have to do is tell me, and I'll be ready. Okay?”

Kurt sighed a very contented sigh into Blaine's neck. He stretched his arms out, feeling the stretch in the tendons, waking up a little more with fresh oxygen moving through the muscles. He opened his eyes to see Blaine's honey-amber-hazel eyes looking back, a smile on Blaine's face. It was a kind of a shy smile, like he was worried about Kurt's approval. Kurt leaned up and placed his lips gently on Blaine's lips, so soft and sexy that Blaine was almost hard again. He could fall in love with Kurt's lips. 

 


	8. Chapter 8

The spring blizzard had all melted, leaving wet puddles and mud holes all over the streets and parks. Walking anywhere required the right gear, Wellington mud boots, and sturdy fabrics but it was actually a little warm for the season. 

  


Blaine had talked Kurt into walking with him in the semi-secluded park at the edge of town. He wanted to be alone with Kurt, but not cooped up an a house. Besides, with all of the abundant mud, Blaine knew Kurt would get dirty, and he could get a kick out of teasing his usually fastidious friend. They were walking along a trail when Kurt stopped.

  


“Really, Blaine, why are we traipsing through the mud again?”

  


“I like mud. Here, take off your boots and socks....”

  


“No!”

  


“Yes!” Blaine giggled. “We can wiggle our toes in the mud. Didn't you do that as a kid? It's fun.” 

  


Kurt had a shocked look on his face when Blaine scooped him up, one arm under his knees, one across his back. Blaine was very strong, and Kurt was imagining what his abdomen looked like carrying the weight of Kurt's body as he daydreamed for a second.

  


“Blaine,” Kurt said in his most serious voice, “set me down. Carefully, please.”

  


“Nope. Deal first,” Blaine countered, smirking. Kurt's heart sank a tiny bit -this was not going to be easy. “Please, Kurtsy, I wanna play in the mud. If you don't get down and help me make mud pies, I'm making you so uncomfortable, SO uncomfortable...in front of your friends and family - I have lots of blackmail stories to tell now....” Blaine said, using his puppy dog eyes for added leverage.

  


“You are so five years old sometimes, Blaine. No to the mud. Just no.” Kurt thought he'd put an end to the discussion and started to wriggle in Blaine's arms. And indeed, he had ended the discussion– he finally got Blaine to agree that he didn't need to take off his boots and squish his toes in the mud, no matter how much Blaine begged and related wonderful stories of his childhood concerning mud puddles of epic proportion. 

  


But Blaine wasn't willing to let the opportunity go. So, failing to get Kurt to agree, did the next best thing. He dumped Kurt, butt-first, into the middle of a huge and deep mud puddle. Kurt shrieked!!

  


“OH, Blaine, how could you???' Kurt sputtered, splashing in the muddy mess to confront Blaine. Blaine just laughed, trying to avoid Kurt's grabbing hands, which were intent on bringing Blaine down into the mud, too.

  


“Hey, didn't I see this in a John Wayne movie?” Blaine asked, laughing, “The one where they all slide into the giant mud pit at the edge of town. It's the one where John Wayne chases Maureen O'Hara through town in her underwear and spanks her with a coal shovel.......”

  


Kurt just sat in the mud, trying to be mad, but resorting to giggles every few minutes as the mud squished into every crevice and hole in his clothes. “I only wish I had Maureen's hat pin right about now.”

  


“Oh, G. W.!!” Blaine said in his best falsetto voice, batting his eyelashes at Kurt and putting his folded hands beneath his chin.

  


“McLintock. I love that movie.” Kurt put up his hand for help since it was so slippery he couldn't get a proper purchase to stand. Foolishly, Blaine reached out a hand, digging his heels into the damp soil at the edge of the mud so he could help. It couldn't be said afterwards if Kurt just slipped or if he meant to do it, but suddenly there was Blaine, spread-eagle in the mud, his face splashing into the deep part which forced dirty water and mud into his shirt and down the waistband of his jeans. Kurt came undone giggling, watching as Blaine sputtered out the mud in his mouth before grabbing Kurt by the collar with one hand and a handful of sticky mud in his other hand to drip it down Kurt's neck and into his shirt.

  


The gasp was rather loud, indignant, and absolutely hilarious to Blaine as the two of them launched themselves at each other, scrabbling in the wet mess. Hands slipped and slid across wet fabric, grasping for a purchase to try and throw the other boy over and tickle him. The slick feel of the muddy clothes made them glide together and away in an almost sensual tease. They rolled and pushed, grabbed and fell, until they were a filthy, dirty, muddy mess of boyflesh, laughing into each other's face and finally kissing in spite of the slop they were sitting in.

  


Blaine reached over to push Kurt back into the mud, but his hand slid down the front of the shirt and over the belt, just skimming Kurt's jeans. _**Oh.**_ Well, that's how it was...he palmed into the bulge he felt, skuttling closer to Kurt and trying to put his arms around him to bring him closer. Kurt jumped away, scrabbling across the muddy ground to get away because he had made such a fuss about it, he didn't want Blaine to know how the slick mud and rubbing against Blaine had aroused him. But it was too late, Blaine had felt just how excited it had made Kurt and he wasn't letting this opportunity go.

  


“Kurt, c'mere. I can help you out of the mud puddle. Just come closer,” he cooed. Kurt didn't trust that fake voice for a single moment and crawled towards the edge.

  


Blaine had an advantage, though. Kurt was wearing boots with slick leather soles that slid in the mud, but Blaine was wearing hiking boots that gripped the ground much better and with the traction, he was able to catch up with Kurt in a matter of seconds. Plus, Kurt probably wasn't trying to get away as much as he wanted Blaine to believe.

  


Blaine grabbed at Kurt's jeans and caught on a tear in the fabric. Kurt had worn a very old and worn out pair of jeans because they were going to be walking in the woods and he didn't want to ruin any of his good clothes. When Blaine's finger caught on the hole, the fabric tore from waistband to hem as Kurt was struggling to get away.

  


Blaine hesitated. He knew how Kurt felt about his clothes and here he'd ruined a pair of jeans...he held his breath and cringed, waiting for the tirade he knew was coming. But it didn't come. He opened his eyes to see Kurt sitting in a deep part of the mud hole, laughing silently.

  


“Okay, Anderson, this is war..and we need to start on fair ground,” Kurt said, reaching for Blaine and sliding him close. Blaine just sat there and Kurt began unbuckling his belt, then unbuttoning and unzipping his jeans. “If you're going to rip off my jeans, you have to remove yours, too.” And he began to tug off the offending clothing until Blaine was sitting there in his boxer briefs. Both pairs of boots had been tossed to the dry ground of the gravel path.

  


Over the shock, Blaine pounced on Kurt, wriggling to get on top of him and smear more mud under his shirt, rubbing it into the fabric. Kurt squealed, bucking under Blaine as if to get away, but really he wasn't trying very hard. It was such a sensual feel to have slippery mud all over them, and Blaine sat on Kurt's stomach to remove his belt and the remains of his torn jeans. He went farther and pulled off Kurt's shirt, then his own - taking a handful of the slick mud and smearing it over Kurt's chest and then lying down on him to slide back and forth, all of their exposed flesh rubbing each other like a giant vat of lube. 

  


The boys' hands coasted over each other, gliding against their bodies and causing them to moan and the light-hearted horseplay turned into something much more serious. They twined around each other like eels and their erections slid together, helped along by eager hands as breath and heart rate increased in the heat of passion. Blaine was the first to slide his hand under Kurt's waistband, sliding his briefs down and off of his hips, thighs, knees, ankles and finally his feet. Just the removal of the offending piece of fabric was erotic and brought moans. Kurt grabbed at Blaine's briefs and did the same, slowly, as he ran his hands over every erogenous piece of skin he could reach. It started with their hands searching but quickly turning into something completely different as hands and fingers weren't enough. Blaine moved on top of Kurt, pinning him in a shallow puddle and touching as much of his body with his own as possible. They grasped hands together, lacing their fingers, using them as leverage to slide sensuously against the other, nipples lining up first and then their erections finding each other and the slick mud providing enough lubrication to make the delicious friction they were looking for. The soft skin now taut over the hard muscle of his cock, gliding against Kurt's was almost beyond bearing and Blaine bit his lip in concentration as he tried not to come too soon and let it end. He lunged forward, catching Kurt's mouth in his own and almost assaulting him in the desperate kiss.

  


Kurt didn't stop the kiss, had no idea that mud could be so sensual, the feeling different that anything else he'd ever felt on his body. 

  


They finally broke their mouths apart, breathing so hard it was impossible to kiss anymore. Loud moans drifted over the trees and they let go of each other's hands to moved down to grip buttocks, gripping hard so their fingers didn't slide on their purchase, and tugged themselves closer and closer, the tight space between them creating just enough friction that one more thrust together and they both felt the burning in their bellies and one after the other came, the semen mixing into the mud.

  


After a few moments of afterglow, Blaine whispered into Kurt's ear, “Do you still hate mud?” looking at the mud-spattered face of his friend. Kurt looked so cute with mud covering his whole body, splotches of it on his face and in his hair. He had a smile on his face displaying what he really felt about the whole thing, which made Blaine get up on his knees and stumble over to put little kisses all over his face and end with a long soul-deep kiss to his mouth, Kurt's arms coming around to pull him closer.

  


“No, Blaine. I surrender, next time you have some wild idea, I won't stop you. But, really, is that what you had in mind to begin with?”

  


“You'll never know,” Blaine smirked.

  


They helped each other out of the mud puddle, hoping they didn't meet anyone else on the path as they gathered all the clothes in a bundle, slipping on their boots for the walk back to the car. 

  


 

  


“How on earth are we getting home now?” Kurt asked, waving at their filthy clothes. “I'm pretty sure Cooper won't appreciate us sitting in his Beemer with this mud seeping into the custom tuck-and-roll Italian leather seats.”

  


Blaine stopped for a moment, thinking. He opened the trunk and found the emergency duffel bag he'd used the night he'd found Kurt on the bridge. Upon opening it, he found an old set of mechanics overalls that Coop kept there in case he had to change a tire or something while dressed up, and also in the trunk was Blaine's gym bag containing sweat pants and a Dalton sweatshirt.

  


“Okay, cowboy, strip,” Blaine said, earning a giggle from Kurt, who only had on his boots and a lot of mud. He used the dirty shirt to try and knock off some of the mud, but it was a lost cause. He put on the mechanic's overalls, complaining they weren't bedazzled like the ones he wore to his dad's shop – which made Blaine giggle. There were more wool socks and Kurt's breath hitched a bit when Blaine handed a pair to him, remembering the last time he'd done that on the icy bridge that terrible night. Blaine's arms went around him immediately as he realized what made Kurt hesitate.

  


“I'm sorry, Kurt, I wasn't thinking. Are you okay?” Blaine asked in a soft voice, cradling Kurt's head to his shoulder and kissing his temple.

  


“Yeah. I think so. I'm sorry, it was just a bad time. But I met you, so it turned out to be good,” Kurt murmured into Blaine's sweatshirt. He hugged Blaine tight to him for a moment and swallowed, then pulled back and put a smile back on his face. “Let's get going. I think there's mud inside my ears, mister, not to mention other more delicate places and you're going to fix that.” 

  


Blaine put on his gym shoes and bundled all the dirty clothes into a canvas bag in the back and handed Kurt a pair of old fishing boots from the recesses of the trunk; at least they weren't muddy. Kurt looked at them, then down at his overalls. 

  


“My dad would be so proud right now,” He giggled, and Blaine joined in. 

  


 

  


~*~*~*~*~*~

  


 

  


Back at the Anderson house, the boys took the clothes into the laundry and sorted everything out, starting the first load of clothes after rinsing most of the mud out in the laundry sink. Kurt's Doc Martin's and Blaine's hiking boots would probably need to go to a shoe repair to get them really clean, so Blaine put them in plastic bags to take later.

  


The boys made their way up to Blaine's bathroom, running a hot shower and jumping in to wash each other's hair and faces, then slather soap suds all over their bodies and have fun running their hands all over to 'scrub' all the mud away.

  


Of course the washing turned into fondling and caressing as they got clean, but neither one was brave enough to suggest they try shower sex, the thought of one lifting the other to have intercourse for the first time - against the cold tiles – was just too daunting. It was too soon for that, they really didn't know each other that well yet. But that didn't mean they both weren't thinking about it. But they had spoken about it, agreeing it was something to be talked over later if their feelings for each other continued in the same vein.

  


Kurt soaped up his hand. “Let me help you, I think there's a bit of mud left here..” he said, standing behind Blaine and reaching around to engulf his penis, sliding his fingers over the smooth texture. Blaine moaned, and Kurt pressed against his backside, his penis sliding between Blaine's buttocks, the soap making it slick. He closed his eyes, laying his cheek against the golden skin of Blaine's back, feeling the muscles move underneath him. He felt Blaine's buttocks clenched tight at the motion of Kurt gliding back and forth, the rhythm of his hand echoing the movement until both of them were moaning, pressing, slipping in the slick soap and finally coming under the pounding water of the shower, washing all evidence of their passion down the drain. 

  


The water began to run cooler and they got out before it got cold, wrapping each other in fluffy warm towels (“Really, Blaine? A towel warmer??”). They went back into the bedroom, getting dressed in warm casual things...sweatpants and his Dalton hoodie for Blaine, yoga pants and a band T-shirt for Kurt. (“No, I've never seen The Moody Blues, this was actually my father's shirt”). They went down to the laundry room to switch the clothes to the dryer and wash the darker things, then went to the kitchen to get hot cocoa, scones with butter and jam, and sliced apples. Just as they were headed to the family room to cuddle on the sofa with a blanket and watch a movie, Cooper walked in the back door.

  


“What the hell did you do to my Beemer, Squirt?” he asked, sounding a bit miffed.

  


“Ah...what do you mean?”

  


“It has mud all over it! I did not give you that car so you could drive in the mud flats, or over icy roads...really, Blaine, do you have no sense at all?” Cooper looked daggers into his brother's eyes.

  


“I'm sorry, Cooper. I'm going to get it washed and detailed tomorrow morning. I take good care of it, but today we were over in Thompson's Woods and the road was kind of muddy.”

  


“I'll help, Coop. Blaine does take good care of the car, we didn't realize how muddy the roads were.” Kurt backed him up.

  


Cooper looked at the two boys, hair damp, skin reddened as evidence they had just gotten out of a shower.

  


“Just what exactly are you two up to? Looks like you need a chaperon at the very least. Can't I trust you at all, Blaine? I'm in charge, you know. If Mom and Dad think you have been messing around, you know they'll call Kurt's dad and 'talk' to him about it. If I can see that something is going on, you know they'll notice,” Cooper lectured.

  


“Aw, Coop, you know I'm not doing anything other than what you have done yourself. Well, close to it, anyway. Besides, it's none of your business what we're doing if it doesn't hurt you.”

  


“I'm more worried about it hurting you,” Coop told his brother, then looked at Kurt to include him.

  


“Cooper, I want to say something, if I can?” Kurt spoke a little hesitantly, he wasn't sure what reaction he might get saying this to Cooper in his own home, but he had to say it.

  


“Okay, Kurt,” Cooper conceded.

  


“Blaine and I are not like any typical high school couple, in several ways. You may not have experienced this first hand, but surely you know that it is sometimes hard for a gay student to function normally in a place like McKinley. I think it must be hard even if you go to Dalton because even though I think of myself as 'normal', as Blaine does, it isn't that simple.

  


“When you look at a boy in high school you see someone that has interests: he may like football or swimming, he may like horror movies or gardening, he might be popular with a lot of girls or just a quiet kid with one girlfriend. He has blond hair or wears a football jersey. But if that boy is gay, he suddenly becomes one dimensional. It is about his sexual orientation. Even if you don't immediately become disgusted with your own visions of him kissing another boy, you still see him as a sexual being and it becomes all about the sex...not about whether he likes gardening, football, or swimming. You see his clothing choices as being overly feminine or too fashionable. He ceased to be just a normal student – being out and being gay automatically makes most people think about how he and his boyfriend have sex.

  


“I know that because you have a gay brother that you are more sensitive than most people walking around today. But, are you thinking 'Hey, I wonder if they might like to go to the zoo together' – or are you thinking 'Hey, is that boy coercing my brother to have inappropriate sex with him'? Not that it's any of your business. I do understand that you care about Blaine and are concerned about his well being.

  


“Think of this, though. If we were a typical high school heterosexual couple, we would be walking down the hall, probably holding hands, maybe a kiss at the door of the classroom as we part, or hug as we meet in the lunchroom. I see a hundred couples do that each week. But if Blaine and I walk down the mall holding hands, there are whispers that follow us, people try to distract their children from noticing us, they pull away so they don't accidentally touch us, and sometimes we hear the hate as people pass by us and all we are doing is just standing with an arm thrown casually over the other's shoulder.

  


“So, you see why, when we are in a safe environment such as this house, we do tend to be more lovey-dovey, perhaps more touching or maybe kissing than you might feel comfortable with.”

  


Kurt took a big breath, turning to Blaine to see if he had overstepped his bounds, but Blaine had slipped his arm through Kurt's and was holding his hand very tightly. He nodded to Kurt to continue.

  


“I won't lie to you, Cooper. We have had intimate times here in this house. I won't give you details because, frankly, they are none of your business; but both Blaine and I are past the age of consent in Ohio, so what we do in the privacy of his bedroom isn't something I'm willing to talk about, nor should you expect me to. However, I want you to think about one thing. If we didn't have this safe haven to come to, we might get a hotel room or do something in a park, and the risk of two homosexual people doing that is so much more than if a heterosexual couple did it. Do I have to tell you about the cases where a gay couple was hurt, attacked, even killed because they showed affection in public? Look at what happened to Blaine when all he did was kiss a kid's cheek on a Ferris Wheel? He could have died. I don't want to risk Blaine's life for that.” And then, much quieter, “I love him too much.” Kurt took a sharp intake of breath upon hearing his own admission, he hoped that Blaine or Cooper did not notice his words.

  


Kurt moved to a chair to sit down, his legs shaking. Blaine stood behind him, eyes wide in the wake of Kurt's outburst; rubbing his shoulders as Kurt tried, unsuccessfully, to keep the tears from running down his face. He hadn't started out to make a speech, he just got so wound up in it....

  


Cooper didn't even try to stop his tears. He walked over to his little brother and pulled him into a bear hug, holding him close and rubbing his hands over Blaine's back, kissing his cheek.

  


“Oh, Blaine, I'm sorry. I didn't mean that at all. I was just being a big brother, too protective. Can you forgive me?” 

  


“There's nothing to forgive, Cooper. Just....just don't judge me, okay? I am being safe, and Kurt is the best thing that ever happened to me. Jeeze, Cooper, I don't know how to say this except that I love him, too,” Blaine said, afraid to look at Kurt because he really hadn't told him that, at least not in words. Kurt didn't turn around, but the shiver that went across his shoulders was evidence that he heard it. Blaine wished he would turn so at least he'd know what Kurt was thinking. They might have guessed that the other one felt more than affection, but to pronounce that they loved each other? It came as quite a shock that Kurt would just blurt it out – and not even to him, but to Cooper! Blaine was not sure how to feel about the whole thing. He loved Kurt. He had finally sort of admitted it to himself, but he hadn't told Kurt before that very minute. Kurt finally turned his face to see those smoky hazel eyes of Blaine's looking confused, and his beautiful Mediterranean blue eyes, liquid with emotion, looked back at him. 

  


Kurt got up and walked slowly to the back door, sliding on his shoes he had left there. he grabbed his coat and was gone before Blaine had thought to ask where or why he left. By the time he took breath to speak, to move, to follow to see why Kurt had gone out the door, Kurt was gone. Blaine could see the taillights of the Navigator at the end of the street.

  


 

  


Rushing back into the house, he dashed up the stairs to get his phone and call to see what had happened, though he thought he knew. He pushed the buttons and waited for Kurt to answer and heard Cooper walking up the stairs. He turned to see Coop standing in the doorway, Kurt's phone in his hand ringing and ringing. Blaine stared at it until Cooper came over and hung up Blaine's phone, then he came and put his arms around his little brother. He had wanted to keep his brother safe, not make this mess. It was like when Blaine needed him after the knifing and Cooper wasn't there. He felt awful that he wasn't able to do anything for Blaine. He was just too little, too late. 

  


Blaine broke away from his brother's embrace and sat down on his bed. 

  


“Oh, Squirt, I'm so sorry. So sorry. I fucked up again. I didn't mean to, you have to believe that, Blaine. I'll make it right. I will.” Cooper sat down on the bed beside his brother, not sure why exactly Kurt had left or why Blaine was so distraught. He pulled Blaine into his arms once again, holding his head against his shoulder, rubbing his back and kissing the top of his head.

  


“It's going to be okay, little one. I promise.”

  


Cooper pulled back the covers and let Blaine fall back into the pillows. He covered him up and kissed his cheek. It was like Blaine was a tiny child once again. The feisty little brother that he had fought with and teased was gone. Surely whatever had passed between the two boys couldn't be this devastating, could it? 

  


“Can you tell me what happened there, Squirt? I don't understand,” Cooper implored.

  


“He never told me he loved me before. I know we were friends, we shared something between us since I talked him off the bridge. He's been seeing a counselor, and he said it was helping, but I didn't ask the details. We are close, Cooper, and I think I love him – no, I do love him, but we never said those words to each other. And, no, we have not gone all the way – with sex I mean. Well, we did a little, but not …. you know. So you don't need to worry. When that time comes, we will be safe, but we're not ready for anything like that. Or at least I didn't think so. We talked about it, and we both agreed that it isn't something we would even consider unless we loved each other. But we had not said those _**words**_...” Blaine realized he was talking in circles, trying to figure out what it all meant, but now realized telling his brother was not the best way to figure things out. He had to speak to Kurt.

  


“Do you know where he might have gone? Maybe to his house?” Cooper asked.

  


“I'll try his house phone,” Blaine said, dialing the number. No answer, but he left a message for Kurt to call him. 

  


Then he dialed again. “Burt? It's Blaine. Yes, I'm fine. No, actually, Kurt left his phone here and I was looking for him so I could get it back to him. Yeah, I know he'll be back to get it, I just thought he might not remember where he left it. Okay, yes, I'll tell him when I see him. Thanks, Burt.”

  


Cooper looked at Blaine. “He hasn't been there, but Burt will call if he shows up. I don't want to upset or worry Burt in the hospital,” Blaine said. He looked so sad, or maybe worried. 

  


“Hey, kid, things will be okay. Kurt will be back. He was just probably overwhelmed,” Cooper soothed. 

  


“I just …..well, I don't really have a reason to think this, but ...” Blaine stuttered.

  


“You think he might go back to the bridge?” Cooper asked.

  


“I know he won't; things aren't so hopeless in his life now, he came out to his dad, and Burt was nothing but supportive.” Blaine said with conviction in his voice, but in his heart of hearts, he was unsure. Would Kurt be tempted to do it again? He continued talking to Cooper, “He straightened out the problem with Coach Sylvester over that kid that had threatened him. So, no I don't think he has a reason to go back to the bridge, but I don't know, do I? When can I stop being afraid that he won't do that again, that he won't feel that bad again?” Blaine said, slipping back into his brother's arms. He tried not to cry, but he just couldn't help it. Cooper stroked his hair, scooting him down in the bed and nudging him over onto his stomach, rubbing his back until he fell asleep. Blaine let out a heavy sigh, his breath becoming even as his brother thought he fell into a deep sleep. Cooper kissed his little brother's cheek and got up to leave. 

  


But as soon as Cooper shut the door, Blaine got up to pace back and forth and wonder where Kurt was. He knew that Cooper had gone to find Kurt for him and he prayed would find him soon.


	9. Chapter 9

Cooper sat in the kitchen, wondering where Kurt might have gone. He thought he might have gone home, but there wasn't an answer when Blaine called, and Coop was pretty sure he wouldn't ignore Blaine's call. He wasn't at the hospital, and that didn't surprise Coop because Kurt was visibly upset and he was so careful about his dad, he wouldn't go there the way he looked. Plus, the way he looked.....Kurt was wearing yoga pants and a band t-shirt, and Coop knew him enough to know Kurt Hummel would never be seen in public dressed like that, unless he was wearing a paper bag over his head.

An hour went by, then two hours. Cooper had Blaine's phone, so he knew Kurt hadn't called. He began to think about everything he knew about Kurt, all that Blaine had told him in the past weeks. And the light dawned. Cooper got into his car coat and slipped on his Frye boots, found his car keys and left the house, leaving Blaine's phone on the bedside table.

Blaine was still in his room, pacing and thinking about calling someone to see if they had seen Kurt, but he had no idea who to call and he was pretty sure Kurt wouldn't go to cry on someone else's shoulder. He walked back to his bed and threw himself down, trying desperately to keep the thoughts of Kurt on the bridge at bay. He really didn't think Kurt was suicidal – but he also didn't know why he had run away, either. All the depressing thoughts just kept revolving in his brain. Those, mixed with images of what they had shared this afternoon, the tumble in the mud, touching and rubbing and kissing - which brought a bittersweet smile to his face. When the tears of frustration and worry started again, he decided to go and ask Cooper and made it out of his room and to the top of the stairs when he heard the back door slam.

Cooper took Blaine's BMW, checking the GPS to find the address that was already saved in the history. He pulled up, parking and getting out. He walked down the path, seeing no one, so he turned back and walked the other way. It wasn't a large graveyard, but with the trees and bushes, it wasn't easy to see ahead on the path very far. He saw a boy kneeling in the dead grass in front of a marble headstone, he had to look hard to see if it was him. 

Kurt was kneeling in front of his mother's grave, the legs of his yoga pants soaked through and muddy on the knees. Cooper waited a moment to be sure Kurt wasn't praying and walked up behind him, sitting down on a marble bench at the next grave.

“You miss her, don't you?” he asked.

Kurt didn't startle, he knew someone had come, but he was surprised it wasn't Blaine. He turned his head, not sure what to say to Cooper.

“Yeah. I do sometimes. She was good to talk to,” Kurt said in a small voice.

Cooper looked at the dates on the headstone. “You were eight? That's a bad time to loose your mom, not that any time is good,” he said. “do you come here and talk to her often?”

“No. Just when I don't know what to do. Did...did Blaine send you? Is he okay?” Kurt looked at Cooper with his huge liquid blue eyes, his lip trembling.

“No, he didn't send me -he doesn't even know I came. He's asleep,” Cooper told him.

Kurt looked guilty and ducked his head. “Oh. I'm sorry. I'll talk to him. How did you know to come here?”

“He mentioned that you came here the night of the blizzard. The address was in the GPS, and I knew you wouldn't go see your father since you were upset. It was just a hunch,” Coop told him.

Kurt looked up at Cooper and held out his hand. Coop took it and pulled him to sit beside him on the little bench. Coop could smell alcohol on Kurt's breath and saw an empty shooter of Southern Comfort beside the headstone. He'd never known Kurt to drink before with the exception of a little wine with dinner. They sat for a while, Coop checking to be sure Kurt wasn't too cold, he'd just gotten over pneumonia after all. Finally, he took pity on Kurt and rubbed his back a little. 

“Want to talk about it?” he asked, kicking the small empty bottle with his foot and looking at Kurt with raised eyebrows.

“No. Well, yes and no. I just think I made a colossal mistake – with Blaine,” Kurt said, looking down. “I was at my house and found that bottle in the cupboard, so I brought it to drink a toast to my colossal stupidity. It didn't work. One tiny shooter of booze really doesn't do much,” Kurt admitted. 

“What makes you think you made a mistake?” Coop asked, although he already knew.

“I should never have flown off the handle like I did. I let what you said, about us doing things together, get to me. I panicked because I thought you were going to break us up. And I said I love him.”

“Well, do you?” Coop asked.

“Yes. That isn't the problem. It's that I never told HIM. Here I was, spouting off about how we feel, when the truth is that I don't know how he feels, we've never said those words to each other. So, while I might think he loves me, it wasn't my place to say that, not my place to assume it,” Kurt finished, shrugging his shoulders.

“You didn't give him time to react, Kurt. How do you know what he's feeling now if you just ran away and didn't stick around long enough to talk it out?”

“I was scared. What would I do if he doesn't love me? I don't think I could take that. I don't want to see his eyes telling me it was just that he felt sorry for me, that I mistook his pity for love,” Kurt said, tears starting to gather in his eyes.

“You can't run from problems, Kurt. They follow you. And drinking doesn't do anyone any good when it comes to solving problems. You're smart enough to know that, aren't you? I'm no therapist, but my life experience has taught me that much. You did affect Blaine. He's been crying since you left. He tried to follow you, tried to call but you left your phone on the table,” Coop related. Kurt grabbed for his jacket pocket, patting all of his clothes and finding no phone.

“Oh. I was so upset that he didn't call, I came here,” Kurt sighed, angry with himself and putting his face in his open hands.

“Blaine tried the hospital, tried your home phone. I finally got him to lie down in his bed and he cried himself to sleep. I am biased because I'm his brother, maybe, but I think you should go to him. You owe him that much because he loves you, too.”

“He does?” Kurt's eyes got wide.

“He told me, but I knew it already. Are you okay to drive?” Coop asked, but he could see Kurt was sober.

Yeah. I drank it over an hour ago and spilled half of it when I opened the bottle. I'm fine. I better go. Are you...are you going home now?” Kurt asked with a worried look.

“No, I think I'll go catch a movie. Probably a double feature. I'll be home later tonight, much later.” Cooper ruffled Kurt's hair, an action that would bring forth the worst of Kurt's wrath most times, but he kind of smiled and leaned in to Cooper's side.

“Thank you, Cooper. I wish I was as lucky as Blaine to have such a wonderful brother,” Kurt said, getting up to go. He waved back at Cooper who still sat on the bench while Kurt jogged back to his Navigator to go home to Blaine.

 

~*~*~*~*~~*

Blaine was still asleep when he felt the bed dip. He thought it was Cooper until he smelled a certain scent....a most pleasant odor that made his heart beat faster and his cheeks blush. It was Kurt's cologne and that scent was wonderful. He felt Kurt slip under the covers and slide his arms around Blaine and hold on tight.

“I'm sorry,” Kurt said, so proud he was able to say the words. Then he leaned forward to whisper in Blaine's ear, “I love you.” 

Blaine turned to Kurt, only to have his arms pinned to his sides and kisses applied to his lips and chest. 

Kurt had a bit to drink while kneeling in the cemetery and it was lingering. 

Blaine closed his eyes to contemplate the whole thing, but nothing came to mind. Kurt was covering his face and neck with little kisses and it was making it hard to concentrate, especially since he had just woken up. 

“I owe you an apology, Blaine,” Kurt started to say, then flapped his hand at Blaine when he started to argue. “No. I do. I lost myself in my self-righteous anger when I thought Cooper was trying to break us apart. He wasn't trying to do that, I just misread him and panicked. I have not been able to stand up for myself much in my life, and when I finally do - it is against someone who was in my corner and only wanted us to be safe. 

“That said, I want to apologize for assuming I knew how you felt without talking to you about it. That was so unfair, and I should never have done it. So, I am sorry, Blaine, and I want to hear what you feel about all of this, because I cannot run on assumptions.”

Kurt sat back, arms crossed over his chest and knees pulled up to his chin. 

Blaine just blinked, trying to unravel what all just happened. 

“First, I have a few questions. Where were you?” Blaine asked.

“I went home for a minute to grab something and then went to the graveyard to talk to my mom.”

“Oh, Kurt. You were that upset? I wish I'd have known, I would have gone with you. Are you okay now?” Blaine asked, looking deep into Kurt's eyes.

“Yeah. It is comforting to me to talk to her sometimes. That's where Cooper found me,” Kurt said, settling down and shifting closer to Blaine in the bed.

“Cooper?”

''Yeah. He apparently found the address in your GPS. He was concerned about us,” Kurt said.

“Kurt, have you been drinking?” Blaine asked, looking really concerned.

“Just a little. Don't worry, it's not one of my many vices, it was a random occurrence, I promise.”

Blaine pulled Kurt closer and buried his nose in Kurt's neck, his shoulders starting to shake as he began to cry all over again.

“Oh, Blaine, I said I was sorry. I will be more careful with my words from now on, I promise,” Kurt sort of stuttered, patting Blaine's back.

Blaine looked up. “Kurt, I was so scared. I know you were upset, but you just cannot do that to me again. I didn't know what to think, I was so worried you might...might go back to the river.”

“Oh, no..I would never do that! I wouldn't because I......” Kurt stopped, afraid to say any more.

“You what?” Blaine asked.

“We never talked about it. We skirted the issue often enough, but we have not said the words to each other and I don't know how you feel. I think I do, but I don't want to assume something and find out I'm wrong. I don't want to force you to say anything you don't mean, either. Are you okay to talk about our feelings?” Kurt asked.

“Yes. I don't know why I never said it, either, Kurt. But I want you to know that even though we haven't known each other very long -less than a month, really, I feel like I love you.”

Kurt's smile was beautiful. His whole face just lit up and his eyes were the bright blue of a summer's day. He leaned close to Blaine and whispered in his ear, “I love you, too, baby.”

Blaine smiled, tugging Kurt closer to kiss him. 

 

“You know, Blaine, Cooper told me he was going to see a movie tonight. A double feature,” Kurt said in a quiet voice. Blaine grinned. “Do you have a mud puddle in your backyard?” Kurt asked with wide eyes.

Blaine began to laugh, giggling and snorting.

“Oh, that's attractive, Anderson,” Kurt smirked, but he actually thought it was adorable and placed a kiss on Blaine's temple. Blaine turned his head to return the kiss, meeting Kurt's lips and then climbing on top of him to lay his chest closer as he let his lips slide down to Kurt's collarbone, giving open mouth kisses and licking the salty skin, making noises of contentment and lust as he went. 

“Strip, cowboy” he said, reminiscent of the afternoon's reenactment of McLintock and the mud pit. Kurt laughed and complied, getting out of the bed and dancing around as he peeled off all of the clothes he was wearing, humming “Big Spender” as he went. Blaine sat up and whistled at Kurt, playing along, but when Kurt was done and dove back into the bed, Blaine was not playing any more. He put his hands around Kurt and dragged him to the head of the bed, covering him with kisses. Kurt slipped under the covers only to find Blaine, naked as the day he was born and wrapping himself around Kurt.

He kissed him again, there was never a time when Blaine didn't want to kiss Kurt. Well, there was also never a time when Kurt didn't want to kiss Blaine, so it worked out. Blaine was licking around Kurt's ear, nibbling on the lobe and breathing into it just to see the shivers appear on Kurt's arms. How hot was that? He went back to licking the ear and whispered, “I love you, Kurt”, which made the shivers come back along with a sigh of contentment as Kurt whispered back, “I love you, too, Blaine.”

“Do you remember we once said we wanted to do more, but not until we knew if we loved each other?” Kurt asked Blaine and Blaine kissed him one more time before answering yes. “Do you want to do it now?” Kurt asked, just the words making him stretch his muscles in anticipation as he felt a shiver of excitement flow over him.   
“I do want to. Which.....ah, which way?” Blaine asked.

“Ah, well, you gave me the first blow job, so I think it only fair to let you pick,” Kurt said, trying for diplomacy.

“I don't know. Oh, I'll count to three and we can say which one we've dreamed about?”

“Blaine. You've dreamed about having sex with me?” Kurt asked, wide-eyed and mock-innocent.

“Argh. Try and tell me you haven't had any dreams about me, then,” Blaine retorted.

Kurt blushed. Blaine giggled.

“Okay, then, one, two, three.......bottom,” Blaine said.

At the same time Kurt said, One, two, three....top,”

“Oh. Well, that might just work out very nicely then,” Blaine said, very nervous.

He went to his drawer and took out a tube of lube.

“I thought you didn't have any of that, where did it come from?” Kurt asked. 

Blaine blushed. “Ah, I got it on the way home from school yesterday.”

Kurt smiled. “I bet you were a boy scout, always prepared, eh?” he smirked. Blaine glared at him.

But it didn't last long, they were back in bed in no time and wrapped in each other's arms, kissing and petting, stroking and licking until they had lost all track of time or purpose. When the initial frenzy slowed down and they stopped to catch their breath, Blaine snuggled close to Kurt and just lay still, touching as much of his skin to Kurt's as he could. He whispered to Kurt that he loved him and Kurt whispered back for a while, just soft kisses as Kurt began to soothe his hands down Blaine's skin, swirling and stroking, exploring each part with kisses and fingers. He loved to feel Blaine and all the different textures of his body from the slight stubble on his jaws to the silky curls on his head, from the soft and pale skin on his inner thighs to the funny wrinkly skin between his legs. 

He touched Blaine everywhere, pulling so many moans and noises from him, each one of which fed the fire of Kurt's desire until he was practically trembling when he got to Blaine's penis. Kurt took it in his hand, gently stroking and leaned in to kiss the head, his tongue coming out to flatten and lick a wide stripe up the underside from the base to the tip, then he opened his mouth to guide the stiff muscle into his waiting tongue, tasting Blaine and humming in anticipation. He spent a few moments swirling his tongue, lapping over the top and sucking just a little, then let go to kiss over Blaine's belly. Blaine cringed as Kurt moved his lips over the scars there, but he'd done it before and Blaine was not as sensitive about it as he had been previously. Kurt moved up to bite lightly on the right hip bone, sucking a purple-pink rose into Blaine's skin.

While he was occupied moving his lips over Blaine's nipple, he got the tube of lube and buttered his fingers and guided Blaine's legs apart on the bed. He had only read about how to do this, so he was very apprehensive about the possibility of hurting Blaine. His hand was shaking as he slid his lube-slick finger into the crevice to find Blaine's entrance. Blaine groaned loudly -which startled both of them and everything stopped for a moment. But Blaine made a noise of encouragement and Kurt moved once again. 

He had never touched anyone like this, not even himself, and he was suddenly upset that he hadn't at least tried it on himself first. He didn't want to stop, but he had to ask Blaine something first, so he just laid his finger against the puckered skin and brushed his finger gently back and forth drawing circles around the ring of muscle, .

“Blaine?” He whispered, and Blaine jumped a bit, opening his eyes and turning his head to look into Kurt's blue eyes. He had a question on his lips, but didn't speak.

“I want you to tell me if it hurts, baby. I don't want to hurt you, so tell me. I'll stop, I'll move, I'll do anything you need – but tell me. Okay?”

Blaine nodded his head, as if he were under water or dreaming. Kurt hoped he understood, but vowed to himself to watch for anything that might be pain written on Blaine's face. He kissed Blaine's eyelids and went back to what he was doing, maybe a little more confident.

He moved his finger from just brushing back and forth to more pressure in circling the outside of the ring of muscle. Just this little thing, this touch, was making him crazy. His penis was so hard, it was throbbing and when Blaine made another sound, almost a squeal, Kurt was sure he was not going to last long enough to finish the deed.

He continued circling, the feel of the slick lube now beginning to wear off a little, he could feel the contact with the skin begin to drag a tiny bit, so he drew back his hand and added more. He forgot to warm it and Blaine jumped when he touched him, but the squeal was more excited. 

“Oh...oh..” Blaine murmured, the contrast of cold on his hot skin was delicious. Kurt took that as encouragement and began to push his finger inside the ring. It was so different, smooth and soft like velvet and the temperature was much warmer and the tightness surrounding his finger made Kurt think about having his penis there and he had to stop and take a breath. He moved very slowly, watching Blaine's closed eyes for signs of pain, but there was none. He circled his finger, rubbing a bit and feeling the heat that was Blaine's insides where no one had ever been. His moaning was increasing, making Kurt more excited. Kurt began to move in and out a little, still worried about the pain, but Blaine seemed to just want more. So he asked about adding the second finger and Blaine nodded, now holding on to Kurt's arm and shaking a little. Kurt pulled his one finger out and then back in with the second finger. Oh, this was so intense, Kurt rested his cheek on Blaine's buttock, smoothing his cheek and turning his head just a bit to leave a kiss there as Blaine took in a breath. At this rate, they might never get to the intercourse part at all. And neither Kurt or Blaine cared. This was not just the means to an end, this was part of the whole and they meant to experience each and every moment.

They had progressed to three fingers and Blaine was starting to feel the burning that he had been a bit afraid of. His face reflected it, cringing just a tiny bit as he tried to hide it. It hurt, but not too much and he did not want Kurt to stop what he was doing. 

“Baby? Are you okay? I can see it's hurting you,” Kurt whispered, his heart hurting from the thought he was causing Blaine pain. 

“No, Kurt...don't stop. It's going to hurt, but it hurts in such a good way. I know that makes no sense, but it's true. It burns, but the pleasure is more intense than the pain and I want to do it so it won't hurt next time. Does that make sense?”

“Yes, but you'll tell me to stop if it gets too much. I'm going to hold still for a moment, and you let me know when to move again,” Kurt said, nervous again.

He held his hand very still while Blaine took several deep breaths. Then Blaine moved his hips back just a fraction to let Kurt know he was ready. Kurt added more lube, but warmed it first. He resumed the slow stretch of his three fingers, continuing the rhythm of going in and out as Blaine stopped shivering and began to breathe in an excited manner. “Ah...oh... Kurt....there, right there...ohhh..” Kurt couldn't stop until Blaine reached back and laid a hand on his arm to stop him.

“I'm ready, Kurt. Please, can you make love to me now?” he said in a throaty voice that went straight to Kurt's belly and spread warmth throughout his entire lower body.

“Okay, turn over,” Kurt asked, helping Blaine to get on his knees and spread his legs. Kurt had read this was the easiest way for them to do it the first time, and he was still concerned about Blaine's comfort.

Blaine was on his knees, hands on the bed and shoulders lowered towards the mattress as he arched his back in anticipation. Kurt took the tube of lubrication and added a lot to his hand, warming it as he reached down with his other hand to stroke Blaine's penis, moving his fingers back to gently fondle his balls and rub over the tiny but sensitive bit of skin behind them. He had covered his own penis with the lube, stroking a few times to make sure it was covered and leaned over Blaine's back, kissing down his spine and licking his tongue into the two dimples above his buttocks. He positioned himself and touched his penis to the dusky pink entrance, stretched for him and waiting. He pushed forward and it was maybe a little too fast because Blaine jumped and made a pain-filled jerk of air into his lungs, almost like a cry.

“Oh, my stars, Blaine, are you okay?” he almost shouted, jerking himself back and just catching himself before he fell off the bed.

Blaine was immediately sorry he'd made the sound, “No, Kurt..I'm fine. It was just a shock. Come back here, it's fine,” he mumbled, not knowing what to say to get Kurt back.

“What hurt?” Kurt asked, although he thought it was obvious.  
“It's fine, it didn't really hurt, it was just...a shock that you are so big. I wasn't expecting it to feel like that. Let's try again, okay?” Blaine said with a whining need in his voice that convinced Kurt to try again.

He came back on the bed and got back into position as he reached under to put his arm around Blaine's belly to steady him and brought his penis in contact with Blaine's entrance. This time he did it slower and rubbed Blaine's belly as he did it to sort of give him something else to concentrate on if he needed it. It seemed to work because Kurt was able to slide in. It wasn't easy, Blaine was as tight as any virgin ever was in spite of the long time they spent stretching him, and it was all Kurt could do to go slowly. It was the most sensual torture Kurt could ever dream of. His mind told him to go slowly for Blaine's sake, his body told him to thrust for all he was worth for the friction it was starving for and his heart said to stop before he hurt Blaine. 

Blaine was having a hard time with it, too, as he wanted it more than anything he had ever wanted, but it burned so badly his body said to run. He finally couldn't take the slow burn creeping along and just suddenly thrust backwards, burying Kurt to the hilt. The shock of the tight, warm friction on Kurt was just short of amazing Blaine thought, if the sounds Kurt made were any indication. 

“Kurt, oh...do it, Kurt... not too fast, but move in me, please....” Blaine practically begged, meeting each of Kurt's thrusts with one of his own. The burning faded as the friction and heat began to glow inside Blaine and he was almost overwhelmed with the feeling of Kurt inside him. Kurt was still very careful, not to go too deep and not to thrust too hard, but kept a steady rhythm, moving a little to the left or right until Blaine made one of those sensual sounds, a throaty voice calling Kurt's name and then “Oh, there...there... don't stop, Kurt, ohhhh...there..” and Kurt's rhythm was met with a harder, faster rhythm as Blaine's body clutched Kurt's penis tighter and the throaty sounds increased and became Kurt's name and Blaine's penis began it's orgasm in Kurt's hand and the white-hot ball of fire in Kurt's belly that had been ready for the last few moments came barreling down his shaft and the feeling of an intenseness Kurt had never felt before, never even imagined before, overcame him and he thrust into Blaine harder until the two of them had ridden out to the ends, calling to each other and sharing the best thing they had ever experienced. 

It took a few minutes for them to stop shaking, for their breath to return to normal, for their voices to remember how to work. Kurt pulled back, withdrawing his half-hard penis and wanting nothing more than to lie down with Blaine in his arms and sleep. 

Blaine lay on his side, still breathing heavy and waiting for his heart to calm down, but he was able to turn on his side, facing Kurt and tug him close so they didn't loose the heat between them. Blaine pulled the blanket over their bodies and loosely wrapped his arms around Kurt, then closed his eyes. After a little while, he dared to open them, looking up to see Kurt looking back at him, his beautiful eyes resting on Blaine's face and a smile gracing his mouth. 

“Kurt, I love you.” he managed to mumble before closing his eyes once again.

“I love you, too, baby.” Kurt whispered back. 

 


	10. Chapter 10

Kurt smiled, happy this had actually worked out. He knew he had a long way to go to get over the events of the night when he tried to jump off the bridge, he knew it would take a commitment to going to see his therapist, and he knew all of his problems would never be solved in one day. But compared to that dreadful night, he had so much now. His father was getting better, he had finally told his dad the truth, school was less stressful after the kid that had threatened him was expelled, and most of all, he had Blaine. Life did get better. It may still have challenges and trials, but he felt more able to face those with Blaine in his corner, by his side.

All of this went through his mind as he woke up. He and Blaine were still in Blaine's bed, tangled together and sleeping, Blaine's face buried in Kurt's neck as it was most nights. It gave Kurt a funny feeling, almost a maternal feeling, as though he were taking care of Blaine instead of the other way around. Well, maybe there was more truth to that than either of them were willing to say. Blaine may have put space between the time of his knifing and now, but those scars were still a source of hurt. He didn't really say anything, but Kurt noticed that if he brushed against them, Blaine would cringe and take in a breath, needing to steady himself before moving again. Kurt was very careful to avoid contact with them, but it was difficult.

Just yesterday, when they had been at the mud puddle, Kurt had been caressing Blaine's body, stroking down his sides in the slippery mud, when he brushed against the largest of the scars. Blaine immediately shrank back so Kurt was no longer touching him, his hands shielding his belly from Kurt's sight. It was an automatic response that Kurt had witnessed a hundred times and each time his heart broke all over again. 

These thoughts running around in his head were doing him no good at all. He couldn't sleep for thinking about it, so he got out of bed, borrowed Blaine's robe and slippers and took his laptop down to the dining room table. He began to search sites for what could be done to remove the scarring, or at least diminish it. Having that word, FAGGOT, cut into him was a constant reminder and Kurt had to find out if it could be fixed, because the thought of Blaine carrying that the rest of his life was too much to bear.

An hour later, Kurt heard keys in the door and looked up to see two people enter the house and pause at the doorway, looking at him. He froze. 

“Ah..oh! You must be Kurt!” the woman said, letting a smile cross her lips. The man behind her didn't smile, but looked interested.

“Yes, ma'am, I'm Kurt Hummel. Mr and Mrs Anderson?” Kurt asked, making the guess mostly because of them entering the house with keys, but noticing how much Cooper and Blaine looked like these people. Mrs Anderson had long, silky black hair in ringlets down her back. She had a beautiful smile that he had seen on both Cooper and Blaine, and rosy round cheeks. Her eyes were green, however, and not a bit like Blaine's. Maybe like Cooper's though. Mr Anderson was likewise a bit like both of his sons, dark hair and a pleasant smile, a neatly trimmed beard and bright hazel eyes with long lashes. Yes, Kurt could see Blaine in both of his parents. A tiny part of his brain wondered how many of his own features matched his mother's, but this wasn't the time for leisurely contemplation.

He stood and put out his hand, first to Mrs Anderson, then to her husband. 

“We've heard so much about you, dear, and you are welcome in our home. How is your father?” Mrs Anderson asked.

“He's much better, thank you. He may be able to come home next week,” Kurt relayed, not sure how to converse with these people. It was more than a bit awkward meeting them for the first time sitting in their dining room in his pajamas in the middle of the night. But, to their credit, they didn't seem to notice anything improper about it.

“That is a blessing. Carry on with what you were doing, Kurt, we are exhausted and probably going to go straight to bed,” Mrs Anderson told him.

“Do you have luggage? I'm happy to help you bring it in if you'd like,” Kurt offered. It was the least he could do since he was living in their house.

“No, no. We'll get it in the morning. It was nice to meet you, Kurt,” Mr Anderson said. 

“Nice to meet you, too,” Kurt returned. “Goodnight.”

 

Well, life wasn't going to be the same, was it? Kurt was afraid the carefree days of sleeping with Blaine were long gone, and he was sad. Blaine was warm and passionate and felt good and it was so nice to wake up to his sunny smile and sleepy kisses. But his own dad was coming home the next week, so it would have ended then anyway. Kurt couldn't help but wish it had lasted a bit longer. He sighed. 

He was back to reading his research when the keys sounded in the lock again and this time Cooper entered. What was this, Grand Central Station?

“Kurt!” Cooper startled, seeing the boy sitting at the table, engrossed in something on his laptop. 

“Hi, Coop,” Kurt said politely.

“I see my folks are home. I hope they didn't scare you,” Cooper said, removing his coat and hanging it up in the coat closet in the hallway, then removing his boots. He walked in to the table and indicated he would like to sit down.

Kurt nodded to the chair.

“How is Blaine?” he asked.

“Fine. We talked things out. I think he's actually better than he has been in a while. Me, too.”

Cooper smiled and winked at Kurt, who blushed bright red.

_Oh, it's like that_ , Cooper thought. 

“So, why aren't you asleep?” Coop wondered.

“I was doing some research. I know this is probably none of my business, but Blaine has done so much for me, I want to do something for him in return. I know this is a sensitive subject, but maybe I could run my ideas by you? You probably know him the best of anyone,” Kurt said, knowing he was on shaky ground here, but willing to tread there for the sake of his boyfriend.

“Anything you say will be held in strictest confidence, Kurt. What can I help with?”

“Do you know how much those scars on Blaine's belly bother him?” Kurt asked.

Cooper turned red, this wasn't something that was ever brought up. They were a private thing for Blaine and the family was careful never to mention them.

“No. We never talk about them. Why? Does he talk to you about them?” Cooper wanted to know. But maybe he didn't want to know, too. He wasn't there to support his brother when it happened and he still felt guilty about that.

“He told me how he got them. And he's mentioned them a few times, but it just about kills him to do it. The first time was the night I....I was on the bridge. I said nobody understood the way I felt, the bullying I got from being gay. He didn't try to argue with me, he just pulled up his shirt and showed me the scars. It's what made me stop thinking about jumping. He saved my life by baring his very soul to me, Cooper,” Kurt was barely able to get out. Cooper didn't say anything as the tears ran down his face, thinking how brave his baby brother was, how hard this must be for Kurt to tell him. He was grateful to Kurt for it, though. 

Kurt took a huge breath and soldiered on. He had to tell someone, and he knew Cooper was the link between his idea and the actual execution of the idea. Cooper might be able to facilitate this dream into a reality. At least Kurt hoped so.

“Without going into too much intimate detail, I can tell you that sometimes I brush over the scars.”

Cooper's eyebrows raised in surprise, but he controlled it before Kurt noticed. It wasn't that Blaine was gay, it was that Blaine was his baby brother and it was hard for Cooper to think about him in terms of being old enough to be on intimate terms with another boy.

“When that happens, and he isn't expecting it, he cringes and shudders. It breaks my heart because I know it brings the whole thing back to him. He can't change in the shower room at school because he doesn't want anyone to see. He won't even go swimming because part of the word is visible in his most modest swim trunks. I have wanted to take a magic wand and just erase the scars, but that cannot happen. At least I didn't think so until this evening,” Kurt told Cooper.

Cooper felt the blood fill his face, the blush painful with shame that he hadn't been the one to know how Blaine was feeling. It was his job as Blaine's big brother to take care of him and this included, at least in Cooper's mind, knowing about things like this. Blaine had never spoken about the scars after he got out of the hospital and Coop was having trouble even remembering if he had seen them since then. He hung his head and finally put his hands over his face and started to cry. 

“My god, Kurt, I've failed my brother, haven't I? It took you almost losing your very life for me to realize how much of a failure I am,” Cooper sobbed. “Our whole family has failed Blaine, haven't we?”

Kurt looked over, a little shocked to see the depths of how this was affecting Cooper and not at all sure he had anything to say to it. He had no idea Coop felt so strongly about Blaine or that he thought Kurt was the catalyst for his learning about Blaine's depression. He moved closer and thinking about how Cooper had comforted him at his mother's grave, Kurt put his arms around Cooper and pulled him in tight.

“It's okay. You just didn't know. But now you do, we can try to help Blaine together. You're a wonderful brother, Cooper, and Blaine loves you,” Kurt said, just sort of babbling kind words to let Coop know that he was a great brother, he just hadn't been aware of how Blaine felt about this one thing. “You couldn't know if he didn't tell you,” Kurt said, and Cooper took a cleansing breath and looked up into Kurt's blue-gray eyes, seeing the sincerity there.

“Tell me what you found, Kurt,” Cooper said.

“The surgeons can use derma-abrasion for part of it, but that won't take away the words, which are almost a tattoo because one of the boys scrubbed dirt into the knife wounds.”

Cooper shivered at that thought.

“But there is another kind of surgery, it's called Z-plasty. The surgeon cuts a Z-shaped incision into the scar and is able to take away part of it. Blaine would still have scars, but with skin grafts and this Z-plasty, the words would be gone. Cooper, I think we need to look into this. I want Blaine to heal and I sincerely believe that he can't if he sees that word every day of his life,” Kurt was the one in tears now. 

Standing in the hallway, Mr Anderson was stunned. He loved his son...both of his sons, and he had accepted Blaine after the initial shock. His way of showing that was to not say anything about it, treating Blaine like he was no different. He thought if he addressed the whole gay area of discussion that Blaine would feel bad that his dad was bringing it up at all, so he had stayed mute. It had hurt him so much when the attack happened, and he'd done what he could, but apparently it wasn't enough. He had no idea the scars were affecting his younger son so much. And he was, like Cooper, ashamed that he had thought it was all over with. It took a total stranger to find this out and wave his shortcomings in his face. Mr Anderson had no idea what to think or what to say. He coughed.

“Dad!” Cooper greeted his parent, standing to go over and hug his father. “Good to see you home, how was the trip?”

“Fine,” Mr Anderson said.

Kurt looked at the man standing in his robe and slippers, obviously upset and he wondered at what point the man had come down the stairs. 

“Kurt? I cannot pretend I did not hear your conversation with Cooper. How long have you and Blaine been friends?” he asked. He knew about Kurt staying there and about his dad being in hospital, but that was about all.

“Ah, about a month,” Kurt told him. 

“You've only known each other a month? And you know all this about Blaine?” Mr Anderson asked. He was shocked to hear how intimate Kurt had been with Blaine, but what could he say to that? He'd have to wait and speak to Blaine about it, this was not at all the way he'd been raised. But for the moment he felt he could only deal with one revelation at a time.

“Yes, Sir,” Kurt answered, seeing the shock in the man's eyes and realizing that he probably just told Blaine's father they were having sex. He blushed deep red, but for now he could only go on with this train of thought. “How much of our conversation did you overhear, if I can ask?”

Mr Anderson walked over to the table on shaky legs. “Probably the whole thing. I came down to get something to drink about the time Cooper came in the back door. Kurt, you have just told me - -well, told Cooper - -more about Blaine than I have known since he was twelve. I had no idea he was suffering about that attack still, he never told us. I don't know what to say except I'm sorry for intruding on your private conversation, but at the same time, I thank God I did. I need to think about this and discuss it with Blaine's mother, but we will address this with Blaine in the morning and I promise to do everything in my power to make this as right as I possibly can for Blaine. And thank you for caring so much for him that you brought this to our attention,” Mr Anderson said, feeling like he was in a dream. This just did not feel like reality. He got up, put an arm around Cooper's shoulders and a hand on Kurt's back in thanks and left the room.

Kurt turned to Cooper. “I guess I better go tell Blaine that I kind of spilled the beans on this one. I hope he isn't too angry with me, but I had to do something. Do you think I better move my things to the guest room?” Kurt asked.

“No. After what dad heard, I think you being close to Blaine is the least of his worries. This may sound strange, but thank you, Kurt, for loving my brother. And for teaching us how to love him, too, I guess. I just hope it isn't too late to help him,” Cooper drifted off, his thinking taking him from the immediate to thinking about all he had learned in one day about the brother he only thought he knew.

“Goodnight, Kurt.” he said, getting up and placing a kiss on Kurt's temple before leaving to go upstairs to his bed.

Kurt shut the laptop, gathered his things and tiptoed back to Blaine's room. He found Blaine curled around the pillow, his hair all tangled from running his hands through it. Kurt slipped back under the covers, snuggling down into the warmth of his boyfriend and thinking about whether he should wake him up to tell him everything or to let him sleep until morning before telling him. He leaned forward and kissed the golden rosy cheek and whisper, “I love you, Blaine, I hope I did the right thing”.

 


	11. Chapter 11

 

K _urt shut the laptop, gathered his things and tiptoed back to Blaine's room. He found Blaine curled around the pillow, his hair all tangled from running his hands through it. Kurt slipped back under the covers, snuggling down into the warmth of his boyfriend and thinking about whether he should wake him up to tell him everything or to let him sleep until morning before telling him. He leaned forward and kissed the golden rosy cheek and whisper, “I love you, Blaine, I hope I did the right thing”._

 

“What?” Blaine mumbled and Kurt jumped. Oh shit.

“Ah.....hi, sleepy head,” Kurt said, hoping Blaine would just go back to sleep.

“Hi. You hoped you did what right? Where have you been?” Blaine asked, blinking in the light from the bedside lamp. 

“I couldn't sleep. I was downstairs on my laptop, I took it down there so I wouldn't disturb you. So, go back to sleep, we can talk it all over in the morning,” Kurt tried, but he knew Blaine was like a dog with a bone when he wanted to know something and Kurt was pretty sure he wouldn't be getting any more sleep tonight. He sighed, resigned to telling his boyfriend everything.

“I'm not up to doing this on an empty stomach, Blaine. I kind of feel like I've been raked over hot coals this past hour...hell, this past day, and I need some nourishment. Can we go fix something?” Kurt begged, knowing he couldn't delay the inevitable for ever, but he might delay it for twenty minutes while he regrouped.

“Okay...let me get some slippers and a robe,” Blaine said, looking at Kurt's guilty face. He knew something big was up, and he was slightly afraid of what it was.

“Ah, your parents are home, so let's try to be quiet. Cooper, too,” Kurt warned Blaine.

“Does this have something to do with them?” Blaine asked.

“No. Yes. Well, it's complicated. Just let me tell you in my own way, okay?” Kurt begged, trying to muster enough courage to tell Blaine the whole thing.

They walked down the stairs and into the kitchen. Blaine asked Kurt to make toast while he poached some eggs. They were silent while they cooked, and were so absorbed in what they were doing they didn't hear the footsteps until they looked up to see Cooper, eyes red and swollen, standing in the doorway. Blaine's mouth came open as Cooper came across the room and drew him into a bear hug, burying his face in Blaine's neck.

“Coop? What's wrong?” he asked, turning to Kurt, “Does this have anything to do with what you wanted to talk to me about, Kurt?” Kurt's eyes were a bit red and swollen, too. 

“Yes. Cooper, I haven't told him anything yet. We decided to get something to eat first. Care to join us?”

Cooper nodded and Kurt put more bread in the toaster while Blaine added a few more eggs to the simmering water.

Cooper poured milk into cups and they all trooped into the dining room once again to eat and talk. Blaine looked nervous, not knowing what on earth would bring his usually stoic brother to tears. 

Blaine finished the last piece of yolk-soaked toast and turned to Kurt. “Spill. All of it. Now,” he barked as he fixed Kurt with a stare that said there would be no argument over this. Kurt nodded in agreement.

“Blaine, since I've known you, I have been concerned about you,” Kurt started. 

“But...you're the one that was standing on the frozen bridge, Kurt, ready to jump. Why were you concerned about me?”

“I should be delicate here, but, Blaine, you have to understand that I'm telling you this because I care about you. I love you.” Kurt said, reaching out to hold Blaine's hand tightly in his own.

“I love you, too, Kurt, what does that have to do with anything else?” Blaine asked, getting more nervous. Cooper could see it and came to sit closer and hold Blaine's other hand. “Oh, ….Cooper? What is this? Do I have cancer or something?” Blaine's eyes were wide and scared.

“No, no, baby. Not anything like that,” Kurt told him, squeezing his hand. It was plain that Blaine was scared because he didn't pull his hands away from either his brother or his boyfriend. He just gripped them tighter.

“Here goes. I am concerned with how the scars on your belly are affecting you. And I don't mean once in a while; I can see you think about them every day,” Kurt said in a low voice.

Blaine's breathing got harder, rougher, as though he were running. He tried to snatch his hands away from Kurt and Cooper, but they held him tight. Coop moved behind his brother and put his arms around Blaine's shoulders, murmuring that it would be okay, that they needed to talk about this.

“Blaine, can you see, even now, how much it hurts you? Your brother, your parents had no idea it was affecting you,” Kurt continued.

“My PARENTS? Kurt, what have you been doing? How do my parents know? I've never said a single word since I got out of the hospital years ago. What did you tell them behind my back?” Blaine's look of betrayal cut through Kurt like a knife and he would have given anything on god's green earth if he had said nothing. But the damage was done, and he had to see it through. Lucky for him, Cooper had Blaine in a tight hold and Blaine finally stopped struggling, tears of anger and frustration streaming down his face.

His voice was reduced to a rough whisper. “Oh, Kurt. What have you done to me?”

Kurt knew he was probably in the wrong, that he had most likely lost Blaine's love now. But he cared enough, he loved Blaine enough, to see this through.

“Blaine, I see it affects you every day. You won't change in the locker room at school – you told me that. You won't go swimming. You won't even look down when you wash yourself in the shower.” 

Cooper looked at Kurt with a bit of a shocked expression, but Kurt didn't acknowledge it and Blaine didn't see it.

“And when I touch you, and accidentally brush over one of the scars, you jerk away from me. It isn't healthy and …..oh, Blaine.....it's breaking my heart,” Kurt finished in a whisper, leaning forward to put his arms around Blaine where Cooper was holding him.

Blaine just sat there. He knew everything Kurt said was the truth. He'd been hiding it from his family, but Kurt was right, it was making him crazy every day. He hated himself for the daily reminder of his lapse of judgment. It wasn't that he was ashamed of being gay – being with Kurt had cured him of the last lingering feeling of that. But the reminder of how stupid he was to kiss that boy so long ago. He put his head down.

“So, what did you two say about it? Do you think I need therapy? And how do Mom and Dad figure into all of this?”

“I don't know about therapy, but that might be a good idea, Squirt,” Cooper said, “And Dad was in the hallway when Kurt and I were talking about it. Kurt has done a lot of research about scarring and he has some information you might want to listen to.”

Blaine looked at Kurt with those huge smoky hazel eyes, brimming with emotion and making Kurt feel small inside, as if he had actually betrayed Blaine. And after Blaine had done so much for him and kept all of his secrets. But he could get through this. He lifted his chin and spoke in a strong voice.

“I found out a lot about scar removal. There are a lot of ways that surgeons can remove them, one is called Z-plasty. They cut a Z into your skin over the scar and then are able to take out parts of it, using skin grafts to replace pieces to make your skin still supple. I can show you what I found out, and then I also found several surgeons nearby that do this sort of surgery. I was hoping maybe we could take you there to talk to them. That's why I was talking to Cooper, to see if we could arrange it.” 

Blaine just sat there, looking at Kurt and Cooper. He looked like a lost little boy. He didn't know whether to climb into Cooper's lap or Kurt's and he didn't know whether to laugh or cry or anything. Kurt ended his confusion by getting up, smoothing his thumb over Blaine's cheek and planting a gentle kiss there and turning to collect the dishes from the table and take them into the kitchen. Cooper scooped his little brother into his lap, hugging him tight to his body.

“Oh, Blaine, I'm so sorry I didn't know you were in such pain. You know I love you, you know I would do anything for you. Why did you think you couldn't tell me?”

“I don't know. I was so ashamed of the whole thing, and Kurt's right. Looking at the scars naming me every day, it just gets in my head. I thought I was okay until...Kurt,” Blaine said in a desperate voice. Cooper frowned and looked at the doorway where he last saw Kurt.

“No, Cooper, you don't understand. It wasn't until Kurt held that mirror in front of my face that I understood. I thought he was the one that needed help on the bridge that night. But knowing him, loving him, it made me realize that I was the one that needed help. Kurt was upset about circumstances, but I hated myself. He made me look at that, made me realize it was wrong. If he hadn't shown me that, I might have been the one on the bridge next time.”

“No, Squirt. No, Blaine. Never. You come to me if you feel like that. I'm always here for you. I will always be here. Do you understand?” Cooper spoke in a voice so quiet that Blaine had to move closer to hear him.

“Yes, Cooper. I do understand. I love you,” Blaine said into Cooper's chest where he had burrowed. Cooper was strong and warm and was holding him so tightly. He finally knew that Cooper would be there for him. 

“Let's get to bed, Bee. I think we all need some sleep before we talk about this again. Are you okay?” Cooper asked.

“Yeah. I will be anyway,” Blaine answered, struggling to turn around to see where Kurt had gone.

“Kurt, are you done?” Cooper asked, and Kurt reappeared in the doorway, smiling to see Blaine so close to his brother. “If you'll take Blainers up to his room, I'm going to make sure everything is locked up. Goodnight.”

Kurt came over and put his arms around Cooper once again, so thankful that Blaine had him for support. He was a little jealous that he didn't have a brother like that, but at second thought he kind of thought of Cooper as a brother to himself anyway. Cooper had come to the graveyard to find him, had cared about him. It was Cooper's idea that Kurt stay with them until his own dad came home. Coop might not be his brother by birth - but he was just as good as one. He hugged tighter for an instant and drew back.

“Are you okay, Kurt?” Cooper asked.

“Yeah, I am. Thank you, Cooper, for everything,” Kurt said. “Have a good night -what's left of it anyway,” he smiled.

Cooper wondered for a moment about what Kurt had meant by that, but he thought he understood. Both Anderson brothers had gained a good friend in Kurt, and Cooper was glad about that.

~*~*~*~*~

 

Back in Blaine's room, both boys took off their robes and slippers. They were too shy to look at each other after the emotional outbursts downstairs and Kurt was beginning to think that maybe he should go down the hall to the guest room so Blaine wouldn't feel like he had to be with him. He was shy to even ask, and turned to take his leave, but when his hand gripped the doorknob, a hand came from behind him and covered his, effectively stopping him from turning the knob. 

Kurt lifted his chin and turned to look at Blaine's eyes, getting lost in the smoky hazel gaze looking back at him. There were no tears there now, but they looked like they were beginning to get wet, like the water rushing down a mountain stream – all brown and sparkling with tiny flashes of green. They were beautiful when Blaine cried, but Kurt didn't want to be the cause of that again today and he started to turn away. Blaine's fingers took his chin and held his gaze as he looked into Kurt's blue-gray eyes, equally fascinated by the colors revealed there. Kurt's eyes were fathomless, seeming to go so deep that they had no bottom, like the water in the ocean. Tonight his chameleon eyes were the color of the ocean in a storm and Blaine thought that was appropriate, given the storm of emotions that had tossed them both today.

“Kurt. Don't leave me tonight, please?” Blaine almost begged. “I don't want to be alone, and I don't want to be without you. So, if it's possible, can you come to my bed and hold me? Please?”

Kurt would never turn down Blaine's request, but in this case he was so relieved, he was afraid to move. Blaine guided him back to the bed, removing his clothes as he went.

“I want to feel you tonight, Kurt. Is that okay? I won't do anything you don't want, but I need to feel you next to me, feel you holding me close and pajamas will just get in the way. Is that okay? Please?” Blaine begged.

Kurt finally found his voice, although he felt absolutely undone by Blaine's plaintive voice.

“Of course I'll come to your bed, Blaine. I always will. Here, let's get you out of those things...” Kurt said, and began to undress Blaine and get him into bed. He wasn't sure where this was going, so he'd turned the lock on the door before coming across the room.

With gentle hands, Kurt cradled Blaine in his arms and kissed him softly, telling him without words how much he meant to him, how much he loved him. The bedside lamp was out and the only light in the room was a little bit of moonlight shining in through the window. Blaine could see Kurt's profile and it made him feel warm inside to know someone so beautiful cared so much for him. It thrilled Blaine to know Kurt held him in his heart because Blaine felt the same about Kurt. He hadn't even dared to dream about someone like Kurt and he was still in awe of the whole thing. It had only been a month and he felt as if he had known Kurt his whole life – and would know him for the rest of it. What began as an accidental phone call for anonymous help had ended in saving his own life instead. He closed his eyes and pulled Kurt so tight against his heart that Kurt couldn't even move.

His musical, spirit-lifting voice came to curl around Blaine's ear, speaking words to him but Blaine couldn't even make sense of them he was so far gone. He concentrated and heard Kurt a little more clearly: “Blaine, baby, are you okay?”

Blaine nodded, but didn't open his eyes. He put his nose into Kurt's neck by instinct and refused to move.

“You're going to be okay, baby. I promise. I'll take care of you the way you took care of me,” he heard Kurt saying to him and he whimpered in response. Kurt kissed his cheek, then his temple and across his forehead, his eyelids and his chin before taking his lips. Blaine responded to him, arching into his body, their naked skin gliding together and making him ache for more. 

“Kurt, take care of me,” Blaine begged and Kurt held him closer. “Make me feel it, Kurt. Make love to me,” Blaine said, pleading. He moved his lips to Kurt's once again, stroking his cheeks, his neck, and whimpering as Kurt moved his tongue to glide over Blaine's rosy lips, tasting him and entering his mouth to explore and tangle their tongues together. Blaine's whimpering deepened to a low growl as he danced his tongue back into Kurt's mouth, needy for the contact. 

“Oh, Blaine, my baby, my love, I will take care of you. Just relax and let me, you know I can take care of you,” Kurt continued, losing track of what he was saying. But it didn't matter what the words were because Blaine understood and gave himself completely to Kurt – allowing him to do whatever he would because Blaine trusted him entirely. Kurt was very gentle, very soft and slow and tender as he made love to each and every part of Blaine. He kissed and licked and nuzzled into every place he could reach, the soft moans and sighs from Blaine's mouth making thrills of pleasure cover Kurt's skin as he made his way down Blaine's body. He had stroked Blaine's thighs, moving his fingers in tender circles as he caressed Blaine, his tongue licking the testicles and moving them inside the tender skin of the sac, then up to move over his penis, while Kurt's ear was pressed to Blaine's chest to hear his heartbeat quicken as he fed Blaine's arousal. 

This was not just sex, Blaine realized. This was Kurt making _**love**_ to him, to every part of him, worshiping his body in ways he had never dreamed and he was powerless to stop it, powerless to return the fondling caresses. Kurt held him in thrall and Blaine could only experience it, could only absorb it. And he knew that was the way Kurt wanted it tonight. 

The gentle strokes and caresses were followed by Kurt tasting him. That is all Blaine could think as Kurt's warm tongue began to cover him all over, By this time, Blaine was completely relaxed, allowing Kurt to move him as he would. He turned Blaine onto his side to kiss down his ribcage, for once it didn't tickle just felt sensuous and Blaine stretched his muscles into it, arching his body as it quickened his heartbeat once again. 

Turning Blaine onto his belly, Kurt's hands went down his legs. Coming up, he moved his hands to the inside of Blaine's thighs and slowed down, following them with kisses and licks, even nibbling at the tender skin he found there. Blaine sighed, letting Kurt separate his cheeks and gently start to caress the crease between them. He left a kiss on the rounded muscle of his buttock and he licked his way to Blaine's core, flattening his tongue and pressing his warm, wet tongue to Blaine and drawing circles around the tight ring of muscles he found there, sharing the pleasure waves that were threatening to overpower Blaine. Kurt drew back, gasping for breath as his head fell to rest on Blaine's cheek before he continued.

Turning Blaine once again, Kurt rubbed his cheek on Blaine's penis, breathing his hot breath before touching his lips to the tip, once again flattening his tongue to take long, sensuous licks and lingering at all the places that made Blaine take a breath or made his lips open in a moan. Blaine was drowning in sensation, he felt lost in a sea of hot pleasure as Kurt drew moans and sighs from his lips once again, finally setting a rhythm – but a slow one. He stopped, coming back up the bed to Blaine, kissing him once again and finally coming close to his ear and whispering, “Blaine, can you make love to me this time?” And Blaine's heart almost beat out of his chest. His every nerve was alive after Kurt had finished and he could hardly think, but his body knew what Kurt had asked and it responded.

Kurt pulled Blaine's hand to him and buttered his fingers with the slick substance, then turning over to give him access. It didn't take more than a moment for Blaine's body to recognize what it wanted and his breath quickened. He sat up, easing his fingers between Kurt's cheeks to feel what no one else had ever touched. If this was too much too fast, then Blaine didn't care. His body was so ready, it was like a violin string tightened to the breaking point and he only prayed he could be as gentle as Kurt had been to him. He closed his eyes and the world around him melted away, leaving only himself and Kurt. He entered Kurt with just one finger, sliding it slowly as he hummed into Kurt's ear, the vibrations calming him as he set to work, determined to bring Kurt the same kind of ecstasy he had felt for their first time. Kurt was so warm, so inviting, and so ready. He moaned and moved and set Blaine's belly on fire with how much he wanted this, reaching back and begging Blaine to kiss him -claiming his mouth even though it was an awkward angle, but Kurt's pliant body turned to meet him. Blaine added another finger, Kurt pushing himself back to hurry Blaine along.

By the time Blaine had inserted three fingers, he was flushed and lightheaded and the intensity of feelings was almost torture. Kurt said something, but Blaine was beyond coherent thought and Kurt finally turned and pulled on Blaine's wrist to stop him.

“It's okay, baby, I'm ready. Are you okay?” Kurt looked concerned and Blaine rushed to kiss him to let him know he was okay. Because they were both virgins, when they had spoken about eventually having more intimate encounters they had agreed not to use condoms for now. Kurt took Blaine's erection in his hands once again, stroking with both hands until Blaine thought he might explode and then Kurt added the slick, warm substance and Blaine was so ready he was shaking. He gently moved Kurt over to the pillow and laid him down, then placed a firm pillow beneath him to help and lay down between Kurt's legs, taking a breath to steady himself. He had always pictured himself as being on the receiving end of this, so it felt strange and exotic to be the one in control. He shivered a little, a bit afraid of hurting Kurt, but he knew what it felt like, so he trusted Kurt to guide him if it burned too much.

The first touch of the very tip of his penis to Kurt's entrance was so filled with sheer intensity that he had to close his eyes and concentrate so as not to give in to his orgasm right then. He tightened his fists a moment and took another breath and entered, pushing slowly and feeling every minute movement as Kurt's body engulfed him. He was sure he had shouted, but Kurt didn't say anything or look at him in disbelief, so he realized he was safe.

“Oh...Kurt....oh...It's, it's so good. Ah...” Blaine said incoherently as the waves of heat and tight pleasure ran up his body and burst in his brain. This is what he had waited for? Oh, god, this was _**worth**_ waiting for. He didn't know if it was just that it was Kurt and Kurt was everything to him just now, or if it was just the act of entering another person, all slick and hot and deep? But no, it had to be Kurt because that was all he could feel, how hot and soft, and tight his Kurt was. HIS Kurt. And he was the only one that had ever been this close to Kurt, been _**inside**_ Kurt and Kurt was his. His mind was in endless, nonsensical loops as the blood ebbed and flowed in his body, building and thrumming in rhythm with Kurt's heartbeat because they were almost one person, linked so tightly together. 

Kurt was moaning so loudly into Blaine's pillow and he wanted to kiss him, but he couldn't reach. He was trying to be gentle and slow, but it felt so good and Kurt was encouraging him by pulling him closer and grasping and caressing his butt cheeks, tugging him to make him move faster - - that the burning need to thrust was getting harder to deny.

“Kurt, are you okay? Am I hurting you?” he managed to whisper and Kurt whimpered. 

“Blaine, Blaine, please, this is so good, I want it to last forever, but I need you to come. I need you to do it hard and fast and fill me, Blaine, my love...” and Blaine knew Kurt was as undone as he was and he felt along Kurt's body to his throbbing penis and took it in is hand, stroking the whole length, using the hand that had the slick lubrication on it so he could do it faster, tightening his hand around the hard penis but still thrusting into Kurt as carefully as he could , but he just could not contain the rush of feelings and he pounded faster and harder, Kurt begging for more, and it was _forever_ and _immediately_ when Kurt began to pulse, letting himself go and the pearly white streaks of semen that came and brought Kurt's voice with them and the fire in Blaine's belly boiled.

He pulled his head back for an instant and then opened his eyes and looked down into Kurt's eyes, “Oh, my god, Kurt...oh....” and he was coming and coming and he didn't stop and he didn't want to ever stop as he called Kurt's name as softly as he could, but he might be yelling, and the trembling in his arms and legs as it went on and on until he lost all ability to hold himself up and came down to lie on Kurt for just a few moments before shifting to his side and lying next to Kurt, still touching every bit of skin he could reach and he was never letting go. 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

Kurt woke up, glancing at the clock to see it was after noon. He thought someone had knocked at the door, but he wasn't sure and he really didn't care. His movements caused Blaine to stir, but Kurt stroked his fingers across Blaine's cheek and kissed the corner of his mouth and Blaine sighed and fell back asleep. Kurt was right behind him, snuggling close to keep the warmth from leaving and sighing in contentment before drifting off.

 

~*~*~*~*~

The knocking was back, a bit louder and this time accompanied by Cooper's voice asking if the boys were okay. Blaine woke up this time, seeing the clock read 3:24 and realizing he had slept for almost twelve hours. Well, he had reason to. But he could not put off the inevitable and he planted a soft kiss on Kurt's jaw, moving down to kiss his neck and softly call his name.

“Blaine?” Kurt said, blinking awake.

“Blaine” said the voice a the door.

“I'm waking up, Cooper. Just a second, I'll come open the door...” and he slid out of bed, realizing he was stark naked and smelling of sex. He grabbed a robe and opened the door a fraction to tell Cooper to come back later, but his brother pushed the door open and came in, quickly shutting the door behind him.

Kurt was looking at him with owlish eyes from the bed, the sheets and blankets pulled up around his face as if he were hiding from Cooper. Which he was.

“I'm sorry to intrude, but Mom and Dad have been pacing and grumbling around the kitchen for almost three hours and I don't think I can stop them from coming up here pretty soon. And if what I think went on here last night actually did, you need to get washed up and get the bed in good order before they start asking embarrassing questions,” Cooper said quickly, looking at his brother's neck which was sporting several purplish love bites, that matched ones on Kurt's body. “Wear a scarf, kid. Sheesh.” Cooper rolled his eyes.

“Okay, thank you for the warning, but go and let us get ready,” Blaine said.

“Just wanted to help out, “ Cooper said, giving his little brother a hug before wrinkling his nose at the scent of what had gone on the night before. “Wow, and you both better shower!” he said before slipping back out the door.

Kurt threw back the covers as soon as the door was locked and both boys ran for the shower.


	12. Chapter 12

Blaine went downstairs before Kurt was even done doing his hair. He walked into the kitchen to find both of his parents standing at the counter, his mother with her head on his father's shoulder and his father rubbing gentle circles in her back. Blaine could plainly see she had been crying.

“Mom?” he said.

She turned around quickly, fingers brushing against her face to removed any remaining tears. Mr Anderson put his hands around her waist to bring her back closer to him.

“Are you okay?” Blaine continued, worried now.

“Yes, I'm fine, sweetheart. It's you we're worried about. I think we need to sit down and have a long talk, don't you?” she asked.

“Yeah, but can I get some breakfast first? I'm really hungry,” Blaine said.

“Of course, but since it's almost 4 in the afternoon, I was thinking more in terms of dinner.”

“I guess we kind of slept late...it was a rough night,” Blaine said just as Kurt stepped around the wall from the stairs, smiling at Blaine but looking serious when he realized Mr and Mrs Anderson were there, too.

“Good afternoon, Mrs Anderson, Mr Anderson,” he said very politely.

“Kurt, please call me Edward, I think you are so close to my son we can dispense with the formalities,” Mr Anderson said with a smile at Kurt.

“And call me Viviene,” Mrs Anderson joined in.

“Edward, Viviene. Thank you,” Kurt said, not sure what to say next.

“Oh, it was my night to cook dinner. Cooper, Blaine, and I had been taking turns. Would you like me to cook for all of us tonight?” Kurt asked, hoping it would make the room less tense.

Blaine's parents smiled. “Of course, we'd love that. Do you need anything?” Viviene asked.

“No, Blaine and I can do it. I can have it all ready in about 90 minutes,” Kurt told her.

“Then Edward and I need to go in to the office for a short while, we'll be back by dinner time and Cooper will, too. Then we need to sit down and talk some things over,” Viviene said, reaching for her coat by the back door.

“See you boys later,” Edward said, patting Blaine on the back as he walked by to get his coat, too.

Kurt and Blaine went into the kitchen, gathering the ingredients for the quiche Kurt had planned for dinner. Blaine began shredding the Mizithra cheese Kurt handed to him, Kurt got out the flour and lard to make the pie crust. They worked together, chopping the ingredients for the salad, frying the bacon, beating the eggs all while singing upbeat songs to each other and improvising dance steps in between the cooking tasks.

Cooper arrived while the boys were busy making dinner. He joined in, helping by setting the table and opening the wine to breathe. 

“I can make some dessert if you'd like,” he offered.

“Oh, I hadn't given any thought to that, what did you have in mind?” Kurt said.

“Your choice: Creme Brulee or Apple Tarte Tartin?” Cooper asked. He loved making desserts, but didn't do it often because it meant more trips to the gym.

“Creme Brulee!!” Both boys shouted at once.

 

An hour later, the Anderson family sat down to eat dinner. Kurt and Blaine were much praised for the Quiche Lorraine and salad. After dinner, Viviene and Edward cleared the table before they sat down to have the serious talk everyone had been anticipating all day.

It actually wasn't too bad, they asked a lot of questions and Blaine answered as well as he could, often leaning in to Kurt's chest if he got too overwhelmed and locking their hands together when the questions got hard. Several times he just asked not to answer if it was too much for him, and his parents respected that. 

There were no questions about Blaine's and Kurt's relationship. Edward and Viviene decided that based on everything they had observed, that their son was in love and that Kurt loved him, too, and they were fine with that, given all the things that had come out last night. They were quite concerned about the boys sleeping in the same bed, but after discussing it with Cooper, they decided to wait to say anything since Burt was coming home tomorrow and Kurt would be returning to his own home and his own bed.

The upshot of the evening was that Cooper was going to find a reputable plastic surgeon for Blaine to visit to discuss scar removal and Edward was going to look into a therapist to help Blaine learn how to cope with his problems in a healthy way. It was agreed that neither boy was comfortable with Blaine going to Kurt's therapist.

Despite some emotional moments, the talk was beneficial for everyone and it was with a feeling of accomplishment that they ended the dinner with Cooper's fabulous Creme Brulee.

~*~*~*~*~

 

Later that night, Kurt and Blaine walked into Burt's room at the hospital.

“Dad!” Kurt greeted him, grinning. “Nurse Patsy told me you have some good news to share!”

“Yeah, Kiddo, I have the green light to go home tomorrow. They have tortured me enough, they're finally letting me go,” he told his son and Blaine.

“I'm so glad for you, Burt,” Blaine said, sitting down on the far side of his bed while Kurt took the chair on the near side.

“I'm trying to remember what my house looks like...” Burt kidded.

“Me, too. I've been at the Anderson's for so long,” Kurt said.

“About that, Blaine – I want to thank you so much for taking my kid in and treating him like your own family. I really don't know what I'd do if you hadn't come along to help Kurt when you did. It won't go unrewarded. If you need anything from me, just ask and it's yours,” Burt told Blaine. In Blaine's head, his mind said _Can I have Kurt?_ He shook his head, coming back to reality.

“You don't owe my anything, Burt, I was happy to help,” Blaine smiled at Kurt. “I am going to leave Kurt here with you, I need to run a few errands and I'll be back in an hour.”

“See you,” Burt and Kurt said together, grinning at each other at the coincidence.

After Blaine left, Kurt got serious.

“Dad, I might have made a mistake, but I need you to help guide me through this,” Kurt said, reaching out to hold his father's hand. Burt looked at his son, getting the feeling that he was loosing touch with him. 

“You can tell me anything, Kurt. You know I love you, right?” Burt asked.

“Yeah, Dad, I know. I was wrong in not telling you so many things. I let them get bottled up inside me and then I didn't know what to do,” Kurt said in a small voice, tightening his grip.

“Tell me now, Kiddo. I'm listening and you know that no matter what it is, I'm here, and you know I'm always on your side. Does this have something to do with Blaine? Has he hurt you, Kurt?” Burt's eyes were suddenly brighter blue, narrowing at the thought that someone had hurt his son, his beautiful, sweet boy.

“No, Dad. But I need to tell you how I met Blaine. I didn't lie about meeting him at a community project. It was a help line for suicides. But I wasn't volunteering there. I met him when I called it for help.”

“You called a suicide helpline, Kurt? Why?” Burt's eyes got huge.

“Because I was standing on the Old Mill Stream Bridge over the Ottawa River. In that blizzard. And I was going to jump.”

Burt gasped, and Kurt suddenly got cold and afraid. Maybe he shouldn't tell his father this, maybe it was selfish to want someone else to know it. But his therapist had given him the idea that he would need to tell his father at some point, and he thought maybe it was best to do it while Burt was in the hospital in case he got worse.

“Oh, Kurt, come here...” Burt said, coaxing him up on the bed with him. They lay with Kurt's back to Burt's chest, his father's gathering Kurt up and slipping his arms around him. “Okay, now tell me everything.”

“I was alone, Dad. I didn't think you were going to make it and I had nobody else. I had come to terms with the fact that I am gay, which is not right in this society yet. At least not at McKinley, and I didn't think I had any friends or anyone to turn to. I just didn't see any hope,” Kurt told his dad, tears flowing and hands shaking. Burt held him tightly, humming under his breath to try and calm his son. 

“It just got worse and worse, then the kid at school that had been bullying me got more aggressive and I hit him. Coach Sylvester expelled him, but the school board got involved and I knew it would all come out that I was gay and I didn't know how you would take that. Anyway, I just found myself out on that road, then I ran out of gas and I walked to the middle of the bridge and wanted to jump. But my feet were cold, and I don't know why, but I called the help line.

“Blaine was there alone, they hadn't even really opened yet, but he tried to talk to me. He accidentally hung up on me, and I threw my phone in the river. I walked back and forth for a while, then sat down to try and warm up my feet. Then Blaine found me. 

“He brought me warm socks,” Kurt smiled for a moment and Burt hugged him tighter.

“I wasn't nice to him. Here he was, driving his BMW in the middle of a blizzard to try and find someone he didn't even know, and he tried to tell me it would be okay. I was really mean to him, shouted at him, but he never even cringed, he just kept telling me he would help me, that things are never so bad that there isn't something you can do to make it better.

“I wasn't going to give up my verbal assault on him, I told him he could never know what I felt like. Then you know what he did?” Kurt asked.

“No, son, tell me,” Burt encouraged, running his hands over Kurt's tensed back muscles.

“He pulled up his shirt and showed me his scars. He had been attacked when he was twelve years old and these kids carved a bad word into his belly. His scar says “FAGGOT”. Blaine had never shown that scar to anyone since he was released from the hospital, Dad, not even his family, but he showed it to me....me, a perfect stranger, because he cared about me. I didn't know anyone could care about me like that. And, well...I think that's why I love him.”

“You love him, Kurt? Not just grateful to him, but you love him?” Burt asked. 

“Yes, Dad. I do. And he loves me. He told me. And I wanted to tell you,” Kurt said, suddenly quiet after his confession. He had been scared to tell his dad all of this, but now he was relieved. He sighed and leaned his head closer to his dad, and Burt kissed his son on his temple.

“I'm glad you do, Kurt. And I'm glad he loves you, too.” Burt felt like a huge weight had been lifted from his shoulders. His son was growing up before his very eyes and he felt old, but happy nonetheless. 

Blaine came walking back into the room, his eyes going wide as he saw Burt's arms wrapped around Kurt.

“Am I intruding? Are you guys okay?” he asked, ready to turn and go.

“We're fine, Blaine. I was just telling my dad about the night we met.'

“Oh,” Blaine had no idea what to say. This was turning out to be the most angst-filled, emotionally wrought two days he had ever lived through. 

Kurt got up, struggling to get back over the railing of the bed and sit on the chair once more. He held out his hand to Blaine, who came immediately and took it, leaning against the back of Kurt's chair and looking at Burt.

“Blaine, I think we owe you far more than I realized. Kurt just told me how you saved his life. Bless you, son, for being there for Kurt when I couldn't be. Just...bless you,” Burt said, his eyes tearing up. They sat for a while, just talking, but it was comfortable for all three of them. They discussed plans for school and even planned some meals for Burt, teasing him about the lack of salt his diet would now feature. They didn't mention any of the hard things they had spoken of earlier, but it wasn't necessary. Burt had a whole new respect for Blaine and it showed, making Kurt smile in relief.

“We have to go, Dad, but we'll be here at ten tomorrow morning to take you home. Blaine is taking me shopping to get you some food in the house tonight. Love you, Dad,” Kurt finished, leaning over the rail to give him one last hug. 

“Love you, too, Kiddo,” Burt said, then held out his hand to Blaine, who came over and took Burt's hand in his. “Take care of yourself, Blaine. I'll see you tomorrow.”

“Goodnight, Burt.”

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~

“Now, take it slowly, Dad, don't trip on that step,” Kurt said, his father holding his arm as he came in the front door. Burt looked up to see balloons and banners welcoming him home, a vase of fresh daisies on the table in the living room. Blaine held his other arm as the boys escorted Burt to the sofa and helped him sit down. 

“Thank you, boys,” he grinned, happy to be back in his own house. Kurt busied himself getting his dad a glass of water and tucking an afghan around his legs to keep him warm. “Okay, enough with the coddling, Kiddo. I just want to turn on the game and watch it while I rest.”

Kurt smiled, but stopped with the fussing while Blaine took off his coat and left it in the closet by the front door. He took Burt's and Kurt's jackets and did the same before sitting down on the loveseat and turning his attention to the television as the game came into focus.

Several hours later, Blaine was still watching television when he looked around and saw the both Burt and Kurt were asleep. He moved Burt's feet up on to the sofa and covered him up with the blanket Kurt had left there. He gently woke Kurt up with kisses to his cheeks and forehead and the boys went in to the kitchen to make some dinner.

“He looks so peaceful there, I think he got worn out coming home,” Kurt mentioned and Blaine smiled. 

“But he sure looked glad to be here,” Blaine added.

“So, your parents are okay with you spending the night here tonight to help me with Dad?” Kurt asked.

“Yes.”

“The home health nurse will be here tomorrow morning. I hope dad likes her. She'll come most days just after breakfast and stay until dinnertime, so I can go to school. But I'll have to be home with Dad every night and on the weekends for a while. I hope that's okay?” Kurt said.

“Of course it's okay, Kurt. It's your dad, your place is with him,” Blaine said, taking Kurt's hand in his own and looking into Kurt's blue-gray eyes. “What is important to you is important to me you know. I can come over after school or in the evenings. We'll still have time together,” Blaine told his boyfriend, worried about the sad look in his eyes.

“I know. But spending my nights without you to hold will be really hard,” Kurt said, cuddling closer to Blaine.

“I know it will, baby, but we'll make it work. We have the rest of our lives, you know, and I'm planning on sticking around for a while, “ he laughed, kissing the corner of Kurt's mouth.

Dinner was quiet because Burt fell asleep halfway through it, then Kurt got him to take his medication and they helped him to bed, Kurt tucking him in and placing a kiss on his forehead.

“Goodnight, Dad,” Kurt said and turned out the light. Burt was already asleep.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Lying in bed that night, Blaine was very apprehensive about his appointment with the surgeon the next morning. Burt's nurse would be there by eight, then Kurt was going with him to see the surgeon along with Cooper. Both of his parents had offered to take the day off to go, but Blaine was happy just to have Kurt and his brother on this first examination. He still hadn't let his parents see the scars in spite of the talks they had concerning this doctor and the whole removal question, and Viviene and Edward respected Blaine's wishes.

“Are you very nervous?” Kurt asked, brushing Blaine's hair out of his eyes as he looked at his boyfriend.

“Yeah, I am. I'm used to hiding them, and this doctor is going to want me to strip down and lay there on display, I just don't want to do it. That's why I want both you and Cooper there. I hope it was okay I asked...” Blaine said in a small voice, clearly not comfortable talking about it, even to Kurt.

“Oh, baby, you're going to be fine. I'll be there the whole time, holding your hand. You know I won't leave you alone to face this by yourself,” Kurt whispered. “Just like when you were there for me. I was lost, Blaine, and you reached out to me. You held my hand and never let go. You took me into your heart, and made me want to live. Oh, I do love you, Blaine.”

Blaine pulled Kurt closer to him, hardly able to take a breath, he was so filled with emotion. 

“I love you, too, Kurt, so much,” he was finally able to whisper back, snuggling into Kurt's chest, burying his nose deep in the cleft of Kurt's neck and just breathing in the familiar scent of the boy he would do anything in the world for. 

The boys had gone to bed early, being tired from a full day of making the house ready for Burt. They had barely managed to strip off all of their clothes before tumbling between the sheets and searching each other out. Everything pointed to a night of fantastic sex: they were alone in the room with no chance of Burt walking in on them, they were naked, tangled together and this would be their last night for who knew how long that they could spend together. But it just didn't happen. Kurt sensed that Blaine was more in need of reassurance and closeness than he was of a night of debauchery, so Kurt just held him, occasionally kissing his cheek or neck, or gently caressing his warm golden skin. They lay snuggled together, talking in quiet voices and sharing all their hopes and dreams until they both fell asleep.

 

Morning brought back all of Blaine's anxiety. He was practically twitching with nerves when Kurt woke up.

“C'mere, baby,” Kurt coaxed and Blaine complied, rolling closer to be held and caressed until his heart slowed down. “Remember what I told you last night. I will be there the whole time. I promise.”

“I know. I just want it to be over with,” Blaine blustered.

Kurt placed a chaste kiss on Blaine's mouth and took his hand to help him out of bed. They went through their routine at a fast pace, getting to the kitchen to start breakfast by seven. Kurt entered Burt's room to find him wide awake and smiling.

“Good morning, kiddo!” he said cheerfully.

“'Morning, Dad.”

“Blaine is getting breakfast for us, let's get you dressed,” Kurt chirped. “The new nurse will be here at eight.”

 

At two minutes to eight, the doorbell rang and Kurt opened the door to find a woman waiting with a bag, some paperwork, a backpack, and a cup of coffee. Her face broke out in a bright smile that went straight to her eyes as she shifted the things in her arms to hold out her hand to shake Kurt's. 

“Good morning! You must be Kurt Hummel? I'm Carole Hudson, the home health nurse,” she said, shaking Kurt's hand with a strong grip. Her dark brown eyes were sparkling and Kurt was pleased to see she was pretty and petite, that would help keep his father happy maybe, Kurt grinned. 

“Yes, I'm Kurt, so glad to meet you. Here. Let me help you with some of that...” he said, reaching to take some of the burden as he stepped aside to let her in.

“Oh, no, my son is right behind me, he'll help,” she said, turning to see if he was behind her, but letting Kurt take some of the things from her. Coming up the walk was a large boy pulling a rolling suitcase and carrying a box under his other arm. “This is my son.....”

“Finn!” Kurt said, surprised to see one of the Glee Club members coming up his walk.

“Oh, you know each other?” Carole asked.

“We're in New Directions together, Mom,” Finn said, looking a bit surprised himself. “Kurt, I didn't know it was your house. I hope your dad is doing better.”

“Thanks, Finn, he is. Dad is in the family room, just through here.”

He guided them in, indicating chairs for them to sit as he set her things down on a table next to her.

“And you must be Mr Hummel? I'm Carole Hudson, glad to meet you,” she greeted Burt.

He held out his hand to shake hers. “It's Burt, please.”

“Burt. And this is my son, Finn. He came to help me with some of the supplies this first day. Apparently he's in Glee Club with your son, Kurt,” she smiled.

“Nice to meet you, Mr Hummel. Mom, I need to go, there's a meeting with Coach Beiste this morning and I can't be late,” he said, “I'll see you later in Glee, Kurt.”

“I better get going, too. Dad. We have to meet Cooper at eight thirty and get to Columbus for the appointment by 9:15. I'll see you after school. I have my cell if you need anything,” Kurt said to his father. “It was nice to meet you, Mrs Hudson, I'll be home by 4:30 and Dad has my number if you need anything.” He smiled and then dropped a kiss on his father's head. “Love you, Dad.”

“Love you, too, Kurt. Where's Blaine?” Burt asked, looking around for him.

“Here, Burt. I was just getting my books from Kurt's room,” Blaine said, entering the room.

“Mrs Hudson, this is my boyfriend, Blaine Anderson. Blaine, this is my dad's home health nurse, Mrs Hudson,' Kurt introduced them.

“Actually, I'd prefer it if you would all just call me Carole. Nice to meet you, Blaine. Are you in Glee Club with Kurt and Finn?”

“I'm in a Glee Club, but I go to Dalton Academy. I'm a Warbler,” he smiled.

“Oh, I remember Finn telling me your group was going to be at sectionals this year!” Carole grinned. 

“We better go, don't want to be late. Goodbye, Carole. I think I'm leaving Dad in good hands,” Kurt smiled and got a wink in return.

 

~*~*~*~*~

Blaine and Kurt met Cooper at the Anderson house and they all got in Kurt's Navigator and drove to the doctor's clinic in Columbus. By the time they were ushered into the exam room, Blaine was chewing his nails and almost shaking with nerves. He sat on the table, Cooper sat in a chair and held his hand while Kurt sat behind him on the table, an arm around his waist. 

A young woman entered the room, long red hair in ringlets bouncing behind her and a smile on her face. If having two people hovering over her patient affected her in any way, she didn't show it.  
“I'm Dr Sanderford, and you are Blaine Anderson?”

“Yes, ma'am,” Blaine said in a soft voice, not meeting her eyes.

“And this is your family?” she asked.

“My brother, Cooper, and my boyfriend, Kurt.”

“Nice to meet you all. Let's get started. Tell me why you're here, Blaine,” she said, looking into his hazel eyes with her bright green eyes.

He told her about the attack and the boy that carved the word into his belly. He told her about the other boys that rubbed the dirt deep into the cuts and about the surgery to close the wounds. He couldn't say anymore and turned to Kurt, begging him with his eyes to tell her the rest. Kurt and Cooper told her the rest of Blaine's story, about how he hid the scars, never looked at them, how they affected his life. By the time they were done, Dr Sanderford had tears in her eyes. She walked over to Blaine, careful not to touch him until she had asked and gotten permission, and took his vital signs.

“I know you are sensitive about showing the scars, but I'll need to see them, Blaine, if I'm going to help you. I want you to change into this hospital gown and cover yourself from the waist down with this sheet. Would you like to have your brother and boyfriend step out while I do the exam?” she asked.

“No. I want them here with me if it's okay,” he said.

“Of course. I'll just step out. Let me know when you're ready.”

Blaine took off his clothes, trembling as he removed his shirt. Kurt and Cooper helped him, Coop rubbing his back as he got back on the table and Kurt covered him with the sheet. It was all he could do not to curl up in a ball on the table when the doctor came back in.

“Are you okay with my seeing the scars now, Blaine?” she said gently.

“Yes, if Kurt can hold my hand,” he said.

Kurt moved closer and Dr Sanderford pulled the sheet back and the gown up just enough for her to see the scars. She brought the light close and used a magnifying device that attached around her head like a miner's lamp. It didn't take long, but to Blaine it seemed to take forever. He was shaking by the time she had finished. 

“I'll go out and you can get dressed again,” she directed. “I'll meet you in my office when you're ready.'

 

A few minutes later, they all walked into her office. 

“Blaine, I won't sugar-coat this. It is not in your favor that the dirt was never properly removed from the cuts and that is has been so long since it all happened to you. However, I am confident that with a combination of several types of Z-plasty and skin grafts that I can take away most of the scarring. Your skin will not look new, but you won't be able to see the letters at all.”

Blaine smiled and Cooper squeezed his hand.

“It won't be easy. The grafting sites will be especially painful for a while, and it will take a good amount of time to heal completely. You will have to use medication that you will apply five to seven times a day for a long time, and you won't be able to exercise or swim. But at the end of that, those scars will be gone.”

“Thank you, Dr Sanderford,” Blaine said, standing up to shake her hand. 

 

~*~*~*~*~

 

The drive back to Lima was quiet, but the nervous anticipation was gone and Blaine elected to lie down in the back of the Navigator as Cooper and Kurt sat in front. They stopped for lunch, having to wake Blaine up, and when they got back to the Anderson house, Edward and Viviene were waiting. Cooper told them what Dr Sanderford had said.

“Oh, Blaine, I'm so sorry we didn't do this years ago when it first happened. Can you forgive us?” Viviene asked, pulling her son close and hugging him.

“Nothing to forgive, Mom. I'm fine. She said this will work, so I am glad we can do the surgery now. Why look back?”

“You are so brave, Blaine,” Edward said, patting his back. “I will make the arrangements for the surgery, son, and we will get this done.”

Blaine hugged both his parents and his brother and took Kurt's hand. 

“And thank you, Kurt. Without you, this would not have happened.” 

They excused themselves and went up to Blaine's room for a while to unwind.

 

“I meant that, Kurt. I do thank you, you're the best,” Blaine said, sitting beside his boyfriend on his bed. 

“I really didn't do anything, Blaine. I just looked up some stuff on the internet. Cooper is the one that found the doctor, your parents are the ones paying for it,” Kurt tried to deflect Blaine's gratitude, he was uncomfortable getting all that attention when he didn't feel he'd done anything extraordinary. 

Blaine knew better than to argue, so he just kissed Kurt, holding him close in his arms and letting him know just how grateful he really was. They kissed for a while, Blaine needing the reassurance more than he was willing to admit and Kurt more than willing to give it. A few hours later, Kurt left to go home to his father and Blaine decided to take a nap after this hard day.

~*~*~*~

 

“Hi, Dad!” Kurt sang out, glad to be home and see how his dad's day had gone.

“In here, Kiddo,” Burt called from the dining room. He was sitting at the table and Carole was taking his blood pressure. 

“How did it go with Blaine?” Burt asked.

“Okay. He was so nervous, it was all Cooper and I could do to calm him enough for the doctor to examine him, but she said they can do the surgery. It will take a long time to recover, but I think Blaine is going to be better if he has it done.”

“I hope he chooses to do it then,” Burt said, “I like that boy.”

“Me, too,” Kurt blushed, then giggled as Burt winked at him.

“Well, is Carole a good cook?” Kurt changed the subject, winking at Carole as Burt squinted his eyes in distaste.

“If you like dull tasting food with no salt, then, yeah. She's fine,” Burt teased, grinning at Carole, who gave him a frowny face.

“I made him an omelet with egg-beaters and added seven kinds of vegetables and some no-fat cheese. It was delicious. I ate the same thing and it was fine.”

“See, Dad, she ate it, too. I'm pretty sure you aren't going to miss a meal with Carole here.”

“Well, I better get going. I think we had a good day together, didn't we, Burt?' Carole said, patting his arm. He smiled back at her and Kurt got the feeling they must have really hit it off. He smiled to himself, maybe this was the start of something good for his dad. Burt had been lonely far too long. 

 

~*~*~*~*~*~

That night, Kurt heard the notes to a song that indicated he had gotten a text. He was in bed, but still not really asleep, so he grabbed his phone to check it, noticing it was 2:43 a.m.

Blaine:  _Kurt? Are you awake?_

Kurt:  _Yes, what's up, buttercup?_

Blaine:  _Wow, you're awfully cheerful for it being almost 3 in the morning. What has you awake?_

Kurt:  _Thinking about you, of course._

Blaine:  _Awww.._ [BLUSH]

Kurt:  _Why are you up?_

Blaine:  _No reason._

Kurt:  _Blaine._

Blaine:  _Ah, can I just call you?_

Kurt dialed first.  _Ring._

“Kurt? I'm sorry to disturb you in the middle of the night,” Blaine said, his voice shaky.

“What's wrong, Blaine?”

“Nothing.”

“Yes, there is, I can hear it in your voice. I'm here for you, baby, just tell me what's wrong. Do you need me to come over?”

“No, you can't leave your dad alone. But, can I come there?” Blaine said, pleading.

“Are you okay to drive?” Kurt asked.

“No. But Cooper said he would bring me. My folks left this morning for a business meeting, so it's okay.”

“I'll go down and unlock the door, Just slip inside and come up to my room. Hug Cooper for me. Why is he willing to bring you here in the middle of the night?”

“I'll tell you when I get there.”

And the line went dead.

 


	13. Chapter 13

Kurt was half asleep when he heard Blaine coming down the basement stairs. Kurt could tell he'd taken off his boots because he couldn't hear the distinct sound of the heels hitting the concrete steps.

Blaine came into the bedroom, looking terrible. He had red, swollen eyes and a pinkish flush to his cheeks as though he'd been crying. He was dressed in his Dalton sweats and mismatched socks, obviously thrown on at the last minute with no product in his hair. Kurt held out his arms and Blaine fell into them, holding Kurt so tightly he had to struggle to make Blaine loosen up enough for him to breathe.

“Is Cooper waiting or can you stay?” Kurt asked.

“He just dropped me off, he's on his way to the airport to go to Chicago for a meeting. I just couldn't be home alone, Kurt. I hope it's okay I came without any notice?” Blaine said.

“You know you're always welcome here, Blaine. My dad is happy to have you stay after all you've done for me. Now, take off all those layers and cuddle in here with me, then tell me what's going on with you,” Kurt demanded.

Blaine took off everything but his boxer briefs and crawled into Kurt's bed. He scooted down so even his shoulders were covered and put his arms around Kurt, sighing in contentment. He closed his eyes as Kurt began to massage his biceps, working his way to Blaine's shoulders.

“You are so tense, tight like a bow string ready to snap. What is going on, Blaine?”

“Mom and Dad left yesterday for Atlanta on business and Cooper was leaving this morning. None of them will be back for two weeks and the day they get back is the day of my surgery. We scheduled it so I can start to recover during the two weeks of spring break, so I don't miss too much school,” Blaine explained.

“Okay, but you must have known this already? Why the tears?” Kurt asked, kissing Blaine's hair and brushing his fingers over his cheeks.

“I don't know. One minute I was fine, I mean they do this all the time, since I was a little kid, but this time I just didn't want them to go. And when Cooper told me at dinner he had to leave, too, I was overwhelmed. I know you've been busy, so I didn't want to bother you over such a small thing...but it got bigger in the course of the evening and by nine o'clock last night I just couldn't take it any more. I asked Coop if I could sleep with him, and I did for a while, but he had to leave and I called you,” Blaine finally finished.

“Oh, so it's the surgery you're most worried about?” Kurt asked, but he already knew the answer to that. It was a much bigger thing than any of them had imagined it was going to be, plus the recovery would be long and painful. 

“I am kind of scared. I keep telling myself that I need to do it, that it will make my life better if I'm not reminded of it every day. But I'm also scared of the pain, the risk, just everything. And I don't want to be that scared little boy any more, but I can't seem to stop it,” Blaine whispered next to Kurt's ear. It was as if Blaine couldn't even say the words out loud.

“Blaine, I know it might hurt for a while, but you already know it will change your life. And you know exactly what they will be doing, right? Plus, Dr Sanderford told you she will be giving you pain medication. I do know it will probably be the hardest thing you have ever done in your life, but this will be worth it. And you will come through with flying colors because you are strong,” Kurt told him.

“No, I'm not. I just always follow the crowd like a good little lamb, never stepping out of my comfort zone. Argggh.”

“That is not true. Who was that masked man that drove through a blizzard with an almost nonexistent chance to find a kid on a bridge – then made him give up the idea he had to take his life, and brought him home to heal. You are strong, Blaine. You were strong for me that day when I couldn't do it for myself. Now I'm going to be strong for you on the day of surgery and every day after until you've healed. Okay?”

“Okay. I'm out of panic mode now, I'll be fine as long as I have you, Kurt. I love you,” Blaine admitted.

“And I love you, too, you silly goose. Now, go to sleep,” Kurt admonished.

Twenty minutes later, they were still awake. 

“Blaine?”

“Yeah, I'm still awake. I'm sorry, am I keeping you up?”

“No. I just can't sleep, either. Do you want to get something to eat?” Kurt asked.

“Sure. We won't wake your dad, will we?” 

“No, he's a pretty heavy sleeper.” Kurt said, turning over to look at Blaine. “But first, are you okay?”

“I don't know. I want to say I'm fine, but the truth is that I don't feel fine. I feel scared,” Blaine admitted.

“I understand. C'mere.”

Blaine scooted closer. Kurt turned on the lamp and took Blaine in his arms. He gently moved back the sheets and looked at Blaine's belly. Although he hated anyone to see, Blaine allowed Kurt to do this, to slide his finger along the scars, Blaine shivering at the sensation. 

“Blaine, this will be gone. But, if you're really scared and you don't want to do it, this is your body and you make the decisions about it. You can say no,” Kurt told him, although he knew that Blaine already knew this. He leaned down and kissed Blaine's belly, running his lips tenderly over the scars. 

“But, that's just it. Yes, I'm scared. I have had surgery before and I am afraid of the part where they put you to sleep. And I'm afraid of the pain after. But, Kurt, the whole point is that this is my body, and I want it back. I know that sounds selfish...” Blaine said.

“No, it doesn't. It's yours and you make the decisions. And I will be here for you every step of the way, okay?”

“I know you will, Kurt. You're my best friend.”

They didn't say any more, just went upstairs to fix something to eat.

“What do you want?” Kurt asked. 

“Can we have poached eggs on toast?” Blaine said with a wistful look in his eyes.

“No problem, just get out the bread for the toast and I'll get the water on to simmer.”

 

The boys had just sat down when they heard a noise at the kitchen door.

“Kurt, I heard someone talking...Blaine??” Burt said, widening his eyes.

“Hi, Dad. Did we wake you up?” Kurt asked as thought it was commonplace for him to be in the kitchen at 5 in the morning making eggs.

“No, I'm always up at this hour, ever since I was a kid. To what do we owe the pleasure, Blaine?”

“Oh, well, my folks are out of town and then Cooper had to fly to Chicago, and I called Kurt to see if I could stay here for a while,” he explained.

“Of course you can, glad to have you, now can I have some of those eggs?” Burt asked.

“No. But I will make you a white omelet if you want, with turkey bacon?” Kurt smiled.

“Well, I guess that's okay. Thanks, kiddo.”

 

The boys went to school that day and met up after to come home to Kurt's house. Blaine stayed for the rest of the fortnight until the day before his surgery was scheduled.

~*~*~*~*~*~

 

Kurt was holding Blaine's hand. He had helped as Blaine got out of his clothes and into the surgical gown he'd be wearing in the operating room. He was lying on the gurney, a blood pressure cuff on his left arm and an IV in his right arm. The anesthesiologist had given him some medication and he was very groggy, but still aware of Kurt sitting by him. His parents and Cooper had been here up until they were ready to give him the medication. The nurse had asked for him to choose only one person to be with him now, and he wanted Kurt. It was hard to say, and he saw the sadness in his mother's eyes, but he knew that Kurt understood more than they did, so he went with his heart.

The surgical team nurses came and gave Blaine several more medications in his IV and told him they were ready. Kurt was allowed to walk down the hall with him and kiss him goodbye as they wheeled Blaine through the double doors to the surgical rooms. Kurt went back to the waiting room to sit with the Anderson's.

 

It was hours later, hours in which Kurt tried to keep up the conversation, but failed. He answered questions, spoke about the weather and about school, but just didn't have his mind on anything but Blaine. The surgery was scheduled to take about five hours, and by the seventh hour, he was like a cat on a hot tin roof – jumpy and snarling. Cooper finally went over to the sofa where he was sitting and sat next to him. He pulled Kurt into his arms and just hung on. Kurt struggled at first, then settled close to his boyfriend's brother and let him rub his back. The stiffness that had been there for hours began to feel a little bit better. Cooper didn't say anything, just held Kurt as his head leaned onto his shoulder and he finally dozed off. Viviene smiled at her elder son, proud of him for comforting the boy. 

Kurt jerked awake as he heard the automatic door open. Dr Sanderford came into the waiting room to speak to the family.

“Blaine came through the surgery quite well. I was able to remove all of the scar tissue and either through the Z-plasty or the grafts his belly will not show any sign of the former scars. He will have different scars, however. As I discussed with you before, grafts work best if they are taken from the patient themselves – although each of you volunteered to donate and I know Blaine appreciated that. The skin was removed from his thighs and buttocks. The sites will be quite painful for several weeks, something like a severe burn, but we have several things to help him with that.

“When you go in his room, you'll see a machine. It's called a Negative Pressure Wound Therapy pump, or NPWT. It creates a vacuum around the healing wound to promote healing. It isn't painful in itself, but Blaine will be in moderate to severe pain for several weeks. We will start with the morphine self-administering pump. He will be able to push a button when he needs the drug and that way he won't have to wait for a nurse to give him a shot. It is set so he can only have a certain amount, so it is safe.

“The most important part of Blaine's healing will be contact with those people he loves that support him. I had a cot sent to his room if anyone wants to spend the night, and there are no restrictions on visiting hours for him. Now, if you would like to see Blaine, he might be waking up about now. Only two people at a time, so you'll have to take turns. You can call me if there are any questions,” Dr Sanderford finished. All four of them just sat there. They had been given the same information just before the surgery, so there really wasn't anything to ask about. Viviene and Edward got up and followed the nurse to the recovery area to see Blaine first.

“Mom? Dad? Is it you? Oh....it hurts,” Blaine said, still very groggy. The nurse came over and administered a dose of morphine into his IV. They could see their son relax.

“Hi, honey. The doctor said you came through it all just fine. You go back to sleep and we'll stay here with you, okay?” Viviene said in a soothing tone. Edward held Blaine's hand and stroked his forehead.

“We're here for you, son.”

“Thank you. I love you.......” Blaine slipped off to sleep once again and his parents sat and held his hands until he woke up again. “Kurt?”

“He's out in the waiting room with Cooper, honey. Do you want me to get him?” Viviene asked.

“Yes. Cooper, too.” Blaine said and closed his eyes. 

Viviene and Edward kissed their son's head and left, Kurt and Cooper replacing them beside the bed.

“Kurt? Cooper? It hurts......” Blaine said as the nurse looked first at the chart and then at her watch before administering the next dose of morphine. 

“I'm here, Squirt. I love you, Bee,” Cooper said, stroking his brother's cheek. 

Kurt had a hard time gathering strength to speak, but he knew Blaine needed it. He steeled his spine and opened his mouth, “Blaine, I'm here, baby. I'm here.”

Blaine smiled and opened his eyes. “I'm glad. Stay here, okay?”

“Of course we will. Both of us, Blainers, we'll be here as long as you need us,” Cooper comforted his brother.

 

The nurse came in, “We can move him up to his room now. We have him in wound care, so you will have to wear surgical gowns if you want to stay in the room, hospital procedure. He is very vulnerable with the grafting sites still open. Come with me and I'll get you gowns, masks, and gloves. You wear them anytime you are in his room.”

Cooper and Kurt left to get the proper gear and the orderlies took Blaine up to his new room. The boys came soon and sat down on the chairs beside the bed, each holding a hand. His parents came a little later and they all took turns being with Blaine for the next two weeks. A few others came to visit the next week, Jeff, Wes, David, and Nick. They didn't know the exact reason Blaine had surgery -only that it was to 'repair' something from a surgery he'd had a few years ago. It all served to cheer Blaine up and he eagerly awaited the day he could see the results.  


~°~°~°~°~

“Kurt, can you come over to the hospital?” he asked on the phone.

“Actually, if you look at the door to your room, I'm about...” and Kurt walked in, coming over to kiss Blaine.

“Oh, good. The doctor is getting washed up, she is going to remove the bandages. They took them off before, but I was still on the morphine pump and I kind of slept through it. I wanted you here to see it with me,” Blaine explained.

Dr Sanderford walked in, smiling at Kurt. She was wearing sterile garb, so she couldn't touch anything, but her smile was enough. 

The removal of the bandages was a little painful, but Blaine was so happy he didn't notice it much. There, where the ugly word had been was a clear, pink stretch of skin. Blaine's eyes got wide and he sat with open mouth, amazed that the evidence of that horrible long-ago day was gone.

“Now I can forget it,” he whispered to himself, but Kurt and the doctor heard him. Kurt laced his fingers with Blaine's and the doctor smiled, still measuring bandages and tape.

“You still need to be extremely careful. No jumping, running, lifting or sex. You cannot risk stretching this skin in any way for another three to four weeks. Okay?”

“Yes, ma'am.” Blaine answered. 

“That being said, I think you're okay to go home again. Are you up to that?” the doctor asked.

“Hell, yeah! Oh...excuse me, yes, ma'am, I most certainly am,” Blaine blushed, but the doctor smiled.

“It's fine, I do live in the real world and if you don't have a right to shout 'hell yeah', then nobody does. You've been through a lot. I think with this surgery and your therapy appointments you're going to be just fine. Now, I have to go, but I'll see you in the morning and probably dismiss you by noon. I have your follow-up appointments scheduled and gave that information to your brother, Cooper, and I think that's it. Oh, and it was so nice to meet you, Kurt. Blaine is one lucky guy to have you to take care of him,” she smiled.

Kurt smiled back, “Yes, and vice versa, he takes good care of me, too.”

 

 

The next morning, Cooper was at Blaine's hospital bed bright and early to take him home. The doctor had been in before seven and dismissed him, so he was dressed and ready to go.

“Hey, Cooper!”

“Hi, Squirt. Mom and Dad wished they could be here, but you know how the business goes. They took the two weeks off to be with you, but they had to get back,” Coop tried to explain, as he had been doing for sixteen years now. 

“I know. I was grateful to have them. I know they care, but I am so happy to have you here, Cooper. You have been the best parent to me that anyone could ever have,” Blaine said in all seriousness.

“Hey, did they forget your morphine drip, because you just sound looney all of a sudden,” Cooper blushed.

Blaine didn't say anything, he just punched Cooper in the arm and grinned up at him.

“So, where's Kurt?” Blaine asked, he was sure Kurt would be there to escort him home, this being all his idea in the first place.

“He's downstairs with his dad. Burt had a checkup this morning, so we're meeting them in the main lobby since we drove in together,” Coop explained, getting Blaine's bag and getting him settled in the wheelchair to leave the hospital. 

Down in the lobby, Burt and Kurt were waiting, smiles on their faces. Burt had come twice to see Blaine and was glad to see him getting better.

“Lunch is on me, boys. Kurt has searched the whole town to find a place that serves the worst, most tasteless food possible, so if you want to ditch out, I would understand,” Burt said, winking at Kurt.

“Sounds wonderful, let's go,” Cooper accepted and Blaine nodded his head. Blaine was allowed to get out of the wheelchair at the door and they all piled into the Navigator and made their way to the restaurant. 

 


	14. Chapter 14

Later that night, Blaine was in bed, Kurt sitting beside him in the desk chair. Burt was able to stay alone now, and Carole had offered to stay and cook dinner for him, then come early in the morning to help him. Kurt thought it was awfully strange the way Burt didn't ever object to his staying at Blaine's house, but thought maybe he was just lucky? He'd told his dad that he and Blaine were safer there than showing any public affection, and Burt gave him the 'talk', but said he trusted him, so Kurt was here beside Blaine with only Cooper in the house. And Cooper wouldn't disturb them.

Kurt took off his shoes, socks, shirt, and trousers, leaving him in a tank top and briefs. He climbed under the covers and put his arms around Blaine, the closest he'd been to him in several weeks. They had held hands in the hospital, but didn't have much body contact because of the strict policies about cross contamination while the grafts healed. 

Kurt was very careful. He had seen the large patches on Blaine's thighs and buttocks where they had harvested the skin for the grafts. He'd seen the tool they used, kind of like a large vegetable peeler. It was so hard to think about them doing that to the boy he loved. He shivered and Blaine took it for chills and moved closer, bringing the blankets up around their necks. They cuddled together in a warm cocoon and Kurt shut out the lamp.

“So, how is it feeling?” Kurt asked.

“It's fine.”

“No, I know it is doing all the proper amount of healing, but what I want to know is whether it feels different, you know, your skin,” Kurt asked, moving his hand to hover over Blaine's belly. 

“Oh, well, nobody has really touched it yet, so I don't know. Dr S told me it is okay to touch as long as I wash my hands first and don't do anything to stretch the skin for a few more weeks. I have touched it, but that isn't the same. Would you...oh, I don't want to gross you out, but I'm okay with you touching me there,” Blaine said, looking away.

Kurt got up and went into the bathroom to wash his hands with the antibacterial soap. He dried his hands and came back, sliding back into the bed.

“First, no, it would not gross me out in any way, Blaine Warbler. Don't you ever listen to anything I tell you? I love you, and that includes your skin, in any way, shape or form it comes in. Okay? I love you.”

“In what way do you love me, Kurt?” Blaine asked, pulling Kurt closer. He knew Kurt loved him, but he craved the reassurance he knew Kurt would give him. 

“Blaine, I love the way you always want poached eggs and toast when you need comfort food. I love the way you look at cows in the fields when we drive by and you want to name them. All of them. Seriously, you need a dog or something. I love the way you are shy and hide your face until you are forced to be brave -and then you come out like a prizefighter and leave as the hero. I love the way that in spite of the fact that you had these scars, both physical and emotional, that you had hidden away forever, you didn't hesitate for a second to show them all to me when I was at my lowest. Oh, and I love you because you have a really big dick,” Kurt finished and ducked when Blaine turned to smack him for the last compliment.

“Sheesh, Kurt. Honestly...” but Blaine was laughing and just hugged Kurt instead. “I love you, too. Because you love my brother like he was your own. Which is he practically is, of course. I love your devotion to your dad. I love it that you took something so hard to say to me that you were shaking, but you gathered the courage to not only say it to me, but to tell Cooper I needed to have those scars removed. I love it that you were there every time I needed you in the hospital. I love it that you can cook a Quiche Lorraine without a recipe and that you have a really big dick, too.” Blaine giggled.

“Oh, you think so, do you? Well, let me show you....” Kurt rolled over on his back, dragging Blaine on top and cupped his butt cheeks to bring him closer so he could rub his hardness against him. Blaine yelped in pain when he did.

Kurt immediately stopped, slowly rolling a bit to the side and gently scooped Blaine off of him and on to the mattress beside him. Arms holding him like an egg, he kissed Blaine's temple and asked if he was okay.

“Yes, Kurt, I'm fine. I did stretch the skin on my belly a teeny bit, and I have the places they took the grafts on my butt. It's still really sensitive. We'll just have to be careful,” Blaine said. “Ah, can you look to make sure that everything looks okay? I wouldn't want to get a skin tear at this point.”

Kurt leaned over and turned on the bedside lamp when a knock came to the door.

“Hey, Blaine? I'm coming in, are you okay?” Cooper said before opening the door slowly.

“Yes, I think I'm okay. We were kidding around and I just stretched a little too much,” Blaine said, a bit embarrassed. 

“Come look, Cooper...” Kurt said, pulling the blankets down just enough to bare Blaine's belly. He pulled up the pajama top and Cooper leaned over. They both looked at the angry pink scars, all in patches instead of the terrible word, but everything looked fine. There were no tears in the skin or blood anywhere. Cooper brushed against one place that looked thinner than the rest, and Blaine jumped a tiny bit, but it was fine. 

“Okay, Squirt. It all looks okay, Kurt, you know if you roughhouse with my brother and hurt him, I'll throw you out on your ass, right?” Cooper glared at him.

“Yes. I'm sorry, Cooper. We were just teasing, and he leaned back. But you're right, I need to be more careful,” Kurt said, very contrite. It might have worked better if Blaine hadn't moved just then, causing the blanket to roll back exposing Kurt very hard wearing just his briefs. He grabbed for the blanket to cover himself back up, but it was too late.

“Kurt!! What the fuck? Blaine? I said no sex. Dr S made it perfectly clear no sex. Do I have to separate you?” Cooper was really glaring now.

“No, we were just kidding around...you know how that can happen? I would never endanger Blaine's recovery. And she did not say no sex. She said nothing that would make Blaine stretch his belly skin. There is a difference,” Kurt tried to reason.

“Cooop,” Blaine whined, “I was in the hospital a loooong time, and well, you can't just blame Kurt...”

Cooper rolled his eyes. “Sheesh. Okay, I'm going back to my room and turn on some loud music because I just heard more about my brother's love life than I ever want to think about. You two be careful. I am not kidding, Mr Hummel, that if you hurt Blaine I will bodily throw you out of this house. Now, goodnight.” Coop said and stamped out of the room, closing the door behind him. They heard his own door close a moment later. Kurt and Blaine looked at each other and burst into laughter.

“Oh, no, stop, Kurt! Laughing hurts. I might actually split something if I don't stop right now.” Kurt stopped. They didn't look at each other for fear of the laughter breaking out again, but little tremors of giggles erupted from time to time. 

“All right. Just lie back now and I'll massage you for a while to get you relaxed or we're never getting to sleep,” Kurt said. Blaine laid back. Kurt left the light on and started rubbing along Blaine's arm, moving up to his shoulders and down his chest. He avoided Blaine's nipples because they were extremely sensitive and he didn't want to have Cooper back in here when Blaine started moaning. So he went down the chest to his abdomen and then very tenderly and softly skimmed his fingers over Blaine's belly. He touched the newly forming scars, the skin on them felt like a newborn kitten Kurt had held once when he was a little kid. He leaned down and touched his lips very gently to the skin in the way he had before the surgery and noted how completely different it felt. He knew Blaine had to rub certain lotions into the new skin several times a day to keep it moisturized until the cells had all healed. Blaine was making a sort of humming noise in his throat, a comforting noise like when Kurt was kissing his neck. 

He pulled the blanket farther down to see the patches where they had harvested the skin for the grafts. It was in two large rectangles centered on the front of each thigh. Blaine kept light bandages on these, but had removed them for the night. They looked like he had been badly burned and were more sensitive than the belly scars. Kurt didn't touch them.

“Turn over, baby,” Kurt asked and Blaine obliged. Kurt very gently removed Blaine's briefs and looked at the two squares of healing patches on his buttocks. Dr S had explained that when these healed, there would be almost no discernible scarring because of the thickness of the grafts. Kurt hoped she was right because Blaine had a beautiful ass. He grinned to himself. He would have to be careful that Blaine didn't hurt these patches, either. He tended to lie on his side so as not to put pressure on any healing piece of skin.

This time he didn't say anything, just gently rolled Blaine back. Kurt began running his hands down Blaine's legs, down the outside of his thighs, back up the inside, avoiding the healing patches. When Blaine was very relaxed, Kurt started stroking his penis, softly, gently until it was hard as a rock, then he brought it to his lips and kissed the tip, rubbing it over his cheek before moving his mouth down, taking it in a little bit at a time until his nose was almost touching Blaine's belly. He swallowed and Blaine moaned, finally moving his fingers through Kurt's hair like a sea anemone. Kurt loved to have his scalp massaged like that and he moaned a little, too. 

Kurt pulled back, licking and sucking just to tease a bit before Blaine's hands urged him to continue, moaning a bit more, but trying not to make too much noise and wake his sleeping bear of a brother down the hall. 

“Mmmmmm, oh, Kurt...don't stop that, right there...hhhmmmmm,” Blaine moaned, trying not to tighten the muscles in his belly, but not having much luck.

Kurt stopped and drew back. This was not going to work. 

“Kuuurt....” Blaine practically sobbed, grasping at Kurt's arm to pull him back.

“Just be patient, I'll take care of you,” Kurt assured his boyfriend. He turned Blaine on his side so he wasn't resting on any healing skin, then pushed his knees up nearer to his chest so the skin of his belly wasn't taut. Kurt laid on his side facing Blaine and was able to take him into his mouth without the stress on any part of the healing grafts. It was a bit awkward, but it worked and after a few moments Blaine felt that rushing, burning feeling and gripped Kurt's hair, breathing hard and trying not to make any noise. Kurt could feel it and increased his motions until Blaine was coming, pulling a pillow over his face to mask the moans that were escaping his throat.

“Oh, Kurt....oh, how I've missed that...” Blaine whispered as he rested, Kurt snuggling close to him. They closed their eyes, turned out the light and fell asleep, whispering to each other.

 

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

Six Months Later

 

Blaine was waiting in Kurt's driveway, listening to music until he saw Kurt leave the house, sliding into the passenger seat and leaning over to kiss Blaine.

“Hey, babe, where are we going?” Kurt asked.

“For a picnic, of course,” Blaine grinned. “I have the hamper in the back with a quilt.”

Kurt smiled to himself. Blaine was the best boyfriend he could ever have imagined in his life. Kind, gentle, romantic...and his best friend.

They began to sing along with the playlist, silly songs, ballads, and love songs, their voices sounded good together and they were just having a wonderful time.

Blaine was driving north of the city, the weather cool with the promise of spring in the wind. Kurt didn't realize where they were until Blaine pulled over and parked his BMW at the side of the road. His eyes got big and tears threatened to spill, as he looked at Blaine.

Blaine held out his hand and Kurt took it, as they walked across the bridge, stopping halfway across at the place where Kurt had spent an evening in hell until Blaine came to take his hand. Kurt pulled Blaine close to him, wrapping his warm arms around Blaine and bury his face in Blaine's neck. Blaine rubbed his back, kissing Kurt's cheeks and whispering to him, “Kurt, I love you.”

“Oh, Blaine, I love you, too. I was so lost that night, I had lost all hope. And you came and challenged me to look inside myself to see something that I thought I would never get back. The strength to live another day. And now I want to live another day and another day...and all my days with you, Blaine.” 

“Kurt, I came here that night because I wanted to be a hero. You were right when you said I was just doing it to make my college application look better. What I found was that I was hiding from myself, pretending that the pain I went through every day with the scars and the memories weren't hurting me. But you forced me to see them, to confront how they affected me every day. I may have come here to save you, Kurt, but I was the one who ended up getting saved. You put out your hand and stole my heart, Kurt. You saved me, and I want to spend the rest of my days with you, too. 

Both boys were crying by this time, but they were tears of happiness. They had come a long way from that night, grown closer and grown up. They had faced their demons together and drawn strength from each other. Blaine's scars from the surgery were completely healed, his belly had some scarring, but it was a smooth surface and the places the grafts were harvested showed no scarring. Cooper continued to be more of a parent to Blaine than his actual parents, but they had gotten closer and things were much better between them. 

Kurt's inner scars had healed, too. His father was well and engaged to be married to Carole. All was well in the lives of both Kurt and Blaine. They spent a long while just holding each other on the bridge, looking over the railing at the water rushing below them. They didn't speak on the way back to the car, but they didn't need to. It wasn't until they got back in that Kurt turned to Blaine, “So, where are we going to have the picnic?”

Blaine's smile lit up like the sun itself. “Thompson's Woods. I was over there yesterday and after the last rain, there is a huge mud puddle.....”

Kurt gasped and returned Blaine's smile, a twinkle in his blue eyes.

 

THE END

**Author's Note:**

> This is a purely fictional depiction of a hotline office. I have never been inside one, though I did speak to someone that worked there. If you are interested in this subject, please look up "The Trevor Project" on the internet, it is a greatly needed service and they do a fantastic job. It is well worth your support. Both Darren Criss and Chris Colfer along with many more people on the cast of Glee support this project.
> 
> If there are any errors concerning the way this has been depicted, they are mine.
> 
> AND, MOST IMPORTANTLY, if you find yourself in this situation -whether it be for yourself or for a friend, do not try to fix it yourself. Please seek professional help. This is merely a work of fiction and the decisions made by the characters are not always the best ones.


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